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Breaking the Cycle

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Break the cycle words on rings in an endless patter to illustrate changing our programming about love.
It's time to change our subconscious programming.

There's a girl down the street who reminds me of someone I used to know. She’s barely a teenager and she’s already got the look.

The one that says "Pick me, pick me, please somebody pick me.  Make me feel of worth.  Make me feel like I’m something."

Make me feel like I matter.

Like I’m attractive. Beautiful. Worthy.

Make me feel like since you picked me I must be worth something. At least to somebody.

She's not the only one. She gets lost in the crowd there's so many of them.

She doesn’t know why she does what she does. She just knows it's what she's supposed to do. She puts herself out there like a showcase to be picked. Competing with all the others just like her, hoping it's her turn this time.Continue Reading

He's Left Me Drained and Confused

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A beautiful woman looks confused and drained with her chin resting on her palm.
I don't know how much longer I can do this.

Beautiful Kim has been in an on-again-off-again relationship with a guy for quite a while now, and she's left feeling nothing but drained and confused. Sound familiar?

Here's her story:

Hey Jane,

So I met this guy Tommy almost 8 years ago.  When we first met he pursued me, got my number from his friends, texted me all the time etc. etc.

Long story short I have a son and had issues necessarily finding a sitter for him and had to cancel a couple dates. We stopped talking after about the 3rd time. I never once stopped thinking of him.

Over the years we have always tried re-connecting, hanging out. He is the guy that opens all the doors, buys all the drinks, says "Yes sir" and "Yes ma'am."  

When I'd get ready to leave his house he'd refuse to let me leave and wanted me to lay with him till the morning. Even saying things like "I really miss how you fit in my arms." Promising to go do things such as football games, bike rides, etc. etc.Continue Reading

He Can’t Commit to You Until He Can Do This

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A mature couple on a date talking together in sofa
This is what he needs first.

We know how this works.

No matter how we come to it we’ve already got our answer.

I can’t become this confident, beautiful, radiant woman UNTIL he picks me.

I can’t prove I’m worthy UNTIL he validates me.

I can’t become that woman I know I’ve got the potential to become UNTIL he elevates me.

But this is where we’ve got it so backwards.

He can’t commit to something he can’t see. He can’t commit to something he doesn’t even know he’s attracted to himself. He can only commit to something he can see.Continue Reading

He Says I'm Too Emotional

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A very tired, stressed and fed up attractive woman. wondering if she's too emotional.
He says I have to change my overly emotional ways.

Beautiful Cassidy is dating a guy who tells her she's too emotional. She's reaching out for help to figure out if she should continue to see where her relationship is going, or if she's just wasting her time.

Here's her email:

I met this guy on a dating site back in early December of 2016.

We had sex shortly after meeting for the first time and I wasn't expecting to hear from him after.

Yet... I did.

We've talked everyday since the day we met. He's told me things like he has only pictured spending his life with one other female other than me (which at the time he said this, I felt, was too soon to know that) and talks about the future regularly.

He had to go back to his temporary home in another state shortly after we met but visits his home state (where I live)  every three-four months. I've asked him if he's seeing anyone else and he's certain he's only interested in me.Continue Reading

The Truth About Low Self-Esteem

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Woman looking into a broken mirror representing her low self-esteem.
No, there's nothing wrong with you.

Low self-esteem. We all know the term. It’s more than personal for most of us.

It’s been part of so many of our stories.

Our lives. Our journeys.

Most of us have been told the same thing about it for so long we don’t even question it anymore. Yes, I know I have low-self-esteem, you say. It’s because of this and this and this – our list is long.

We're usually talking about our upbringing, our backgrounds, our stories.

Except this time, I want to catch you before you go there. Because you’ve been there long enough.Continue Reading

I'm Getting Mixed Signals - Is He Into Me?

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A group of male and female friends are out together socially at a restaurant.
Sometimes he seems interested, other times he'll totally ignore me.

Our letter this week comes from beautiful Jaime, who's getting mixed signals from a man she's interested in and she's wondering if he's into her or not.

Here's her letter:

Hi Jane,

I've been getting mixed signals from this man that works at the same place as me that I find attractive for a couple of months now. One minute I'm absolutely sure he's into me, the next he's ignoring me completely.

I wasn't quite sure how to handle the situation so I left it at that. But then he tells my friend he finds me attractive even though we still don't interact much outside of work related matters.

He apparently is always inquiring about me so she arranged for a night out with people from work including him.

We talked a little "group conversation" about work mostly, exes, etc. - whatever topic someone brought up. I again concluded based on the way the night went that he wasn't into me and put it behind me.Continue Reading

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