Getting to TRUE Love

Why He Suddenly Changes After 3 to 4 Months

Sand passing through the glass bulbs of an hourglass measuring the passing time representing wasting time in a dead end relationship with a man who won't commit. — Why does it always happen at the same time?

We talk a lot on here about the man who comes on strong. The knight in shining armor type of guy who comes in and sweeps us off our feet before we even realize what’s happening.

We may not even notice him at first, because it’s not only about his looks or his physical attributes.

No, this one takes us completely by surprise because, overwhelmingly, most of the time we don’t even see it coming.

We’re a little aloof at first, cautious even. After all, we’ve been warned about this type of guy. The type who jumps in too fast, who wants to take everything to the next level faster than the relationship calls for, the one who simply can’t seem to get enough of you.Continue Reading

Do You Think He Just Used Me for Sex?

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A woman is about to kiss a man that is her romantic fantasy. — Everything seemed so perfect - did he just use me?

Our letter this week comes all the way from Hong Kong, where beautiful Laura wants to know what she should do about a guy she met 4 months ago on Tinder, who lives on the West Coast.

Here's her letter and my response:

Hi Jane,

I met this guy on Tinder 4 months ago, and after talking to each other for 1 month, he asked me out. To give you some background information, he lives in SF while I live in Hong Kong, but he works between Hong Kong and SF.

We had sex on the first date.

I know this is not good, but he said he didn't plan it and said he will see me again. So after one week working in China (we text each other every day), he came back to Hong Kong for one day and he did ask me out, said he wants to see me. Its a dinner date.Continue Reading

How Do You Share Your Feelings When He Won't Commit?

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Couple not talking after a fight on the sofa in living room at home — How do I talk to him about how I feel, without scaring him away?

You feel so much. You care so much. You love him so much.

You want to tell him how you feel. You think that’s all he needs to come around.

“I just need to tell him”, you think. “I just need to put it out there so that he’ll know for sure.”

So you think about it. You ask your friends what they think. Because after all, you don’t know what to think.Continue Reading

I Want Him To Be The Last

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Young couple in love, on bicycles, with man taking a selfie. — I thought he was really the one.

Our letter this week comes from beautiful Jerryll, who, for all the problems in their relationship, just wants him to be the last.

Here’s her story.

Am I too selfish for wanting to be happy? Is it wrong that I want to wait for him?

I mean, he left without saying good bye, and he even told me I am his ex on his chat mate.

I chatted something rude, using his account but I can't accept it, I am really confused.

I thought he was really the one.

The worst part is that I just saw their chat on Valentine’s Day. I'm going nuts nowadays, he's my first boyfriend, I want him to be the last.

-JerryllContinue Reading

Exactly Who You Are

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Beautiful young woman with long hair lying on the grass — What if you could look at it another way?

You say “no”.

You say “not me”.

You laugh. You smirk. You dig in.

But what you don’t see is that you’re exactly the one I’m trying to reach.

What you don’t see is that you’re precisely the one I’ve been looking for. It’s your cynicism that speaks volumes to me. Instead of pushing me away, you make me want to run to you even more.

See, I know how this works.

I know you think you do. I know you think you’ve got this all figured out. But what I see behind your words, behind every single one of your well-rehearsed defenses, gives you away.Continue Reading

Am I Crazy to Think He’s With Someone Else?

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A beautiful woman looking down sadly, trying to let go and move on. — I feel like he wants to leave me.

Beautiful Lara is wondering if her man is seeing someone else behind her back (her letter has been edited for readability):

Here's her story:

I’ve been with a man for 4 years. We used to laugh, go out together, be intimate. He would communicate.

He used to spoil me. Now he doesn’t.

Now he comes over at 11 PM, and all he wants to is watch movies. He doesn’t text, rarely calls. He used to come over on Friday’s, but now I often don’t see him all weekend.

I’ve never been to his house, I’ve only met 3 of his close friends, and I’ve never been invited to any of his family events.Continue Reading