Getting to TRUE Love

Sure, it may be simple. But don't ever call it easy!

A beautiful woman sits on a park bench wondering why she loves him. — And don't make it more difficult than it already is.

I've been talking a lot recently about the difference between something being easy and something being simple.

Like relationships.

And love.

And choosing something different than you're used to choosing.

Some of you get so down on yourselves because you get this in theory, but then you can't seem to apply it to your practical reality. You may have friends or family who make you feel like there's something wrong with you because it's not happening the way they make it seem like it should be, but the truth is, there's a world of difference between easy and simple.Continue Reading

It Feels Like There's No Spark Anymore

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Couple not talking after a fight on the sofa in living room at home — He’s always on his phone or watching Netflix.

Our letter this week comes from Julie, who's feeling like the man she's in a relationship with just wants someone by his side rather than having the emotional ties of a relationship. Here's her story. I know many of you will recognize just how familiar it feels to you, too.

Her Story:

Hello! I just got to your blog and read the majority of the questions posted. I wanted to ask for something I wanted to look for that wasn’t answered. Here we go.

So my boyfriend of 7 months broke up last month. But we got back together and went into 7 months a week ago. However, ever since we got back together , he barely texts or calls me.

Whenever I try to reach out I get messages every 2 or more hours. Today was the only day he was free and we could’ve talked all day but he has not done so.Continue Reading

Are These the Ones You're Listening To?

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Portrait of a beautiful worried woman using a laptop in the night at home — Don’t let their opinions carry so much weight.

You don’t say it out loud, but it’s there.

You think it has to be you.

Everything you’re not.

Everything everyone else is.

Everything you think you need to be.

But it’s not!

Exactly who you are is enough.

Exactly where you’re at right now is all part of this journey.

Don’t buy into a culture that dictates what you need to be to be loved, to have love, in order to get that love.

Love doesn’t work that way. It shows up both when you least expect it and when you most expect it.

In the perfect time either way.Continue Reading

He's Stuck On His Ex

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A beautiful woman sits on a couch away from her boyfriend, wondering if she can live with this. — It hurts so much, but I don't want to lose him!

Our letter this week comes from one of our beautiful readers I'm calling Sandy. I'll let her tell you her story below.

Here's her story:

I met a wonderful man this last summer and we immediately hit it off. We are both in our 50's and I cannot begin to explain to you how many things we have in common, how often we laugh together, and our communication has been amazing.

We love to just spend time together.

He tells me he loves me something terribly and I feel the same way. It’s one of those type of relationships where everything is perfect for the both of us, EXCEPT one thing. We both agreed and still agree to this day we have something special, we are best friends.

He was married for 21 years and after he divorced, he dated another woman for a year and a half. It was a toxic relationship and ended one sided several times with her leaving him.Continue Reading

An Open Letter to The Women Who Posted "Can't I Even Unpack One box?"

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Beautiful woman sitting on floor surrounded by moving boxes face in her hands crying. — "Can't I even unpack one box?"

To the woman who posted that she thought she was a failure because her therapist is frustrated she can't do the "seemingly innocuous thing that most people have no trouble doing, but that represents lots of trauma to her."

It involved unpacking boxes, she said. "Can't I even unpack one box?"

Girl, there’s nothing wrong with you!

I work with women just like this all the time who were “bad” at therapy, who didn’t get anywhere in their counseling, who have nothing to show for all their years of working on themselves!

There’s nothing wrong with you, there's nothing wrong with your counselor, it’s just we all learn and grow and have our shifts in different ways.

Just like so many of us concluded that we were “bad” at math.

It’s not that there’s some inherent math deficiency in us; it’s that we now know that we don’t all learn the same way! They didn't know that back then, when it was an old, intimidating male teacher repeating the same lesson at our desks that he’d just said up at the board - but this time ending with the ominous question, "You can see that now, right?"

My Ex Has Moved On With Someone Else but He Says He Still Loves Me

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A beautiful woman leans against a tree wondering if he will ever want a committed relationship with her. — I still love him and he says he still loves me - I don't get it!

Our letter this week is a short one. In fact, it's a sentence. But in that one sentence, our beautiful reader Amy asks a question that's so relevant because of what it unearths. Read on to find out why ...

Her Question:

Why is it an ex that I still hold dear to my heart and love more than the sun, and to the moon and back, will message my friend that he still loves me but won't tell me, and is with someone else and moved with her to our planned future city to live in?

-Amy

My Response:

Why does anyone do what they do?

We have so many emotions that come up when it’s happening to us because when we’re in it, when it’s happening to us, we can’t see it with the objective detached view that we normally hold when it’s about someone else.Continue Reading