Finding your YOU that leads to TWO
The choice is always there.
To stay soft.
To stay open.
To stay hopeful.
Or to give up.
To harden our hearts. To give in to the pressure. To conform like the rest. To say the world is a cruel, harsh place. To say all the good ones are taken. To say we were born in the wrong time and place. To say there's no one left for us.
Our proof is right there in our past. In our patterns. In our history.
We can always find evidence to support what we choose to believe.Continue Reading
It was Julia's letter that showed up in my inbox the other day, and like so many of you, she found reassurance in knowing she wasn't alone in dealing with her current heartbreak; dealing with a guy who once was at first so responsive, now not responding at all.
Hi Jane,
I came across this website so thought I'd try to find some reassurance here.
I've been divorced for a short time after a long marriage. I reunited with an old boyfriend I hadn't seen since my early twenties. We got along so well, like we'd been together for years.
I've always believed that we were made for each other.
He lives interstate but we kept in touch; he's also divorced and was making plans to come see me.Continue Reading
I had my first panic attack when I was 18.
It was Thanksgiving weekend and I was the passenger in a car of girls driving back from my girlfriend’s family home in Northern California on the 5 Freeway, along with everyone else headed back to SoCal post holiday.
I was living in Southern California at the time, attending Biola University, on a PK (Pastor’s kid) scholarship. My own family celebrated our Canadian Thanksgiving a month earlier, so my friend had included me in her family plans.
The girl in the backseat who was carpooling with us – she was a childhood friend of my new friend and lived around the corner from her although she went to a different SoCal university, she picked up on who I was immediately.Continue Reading
Beautiful Lydia wrote to me this week, asking for my perspective on a relationship she's in. Like so many before her, I know many of you will relate to her situation as well.
Hi Jane,
I hope that you are well.
I absolutely have no idea how you do this, how you manage to send such an email at a time when I need to hear these words the most. I have been following your blog for the past 6 years and I must say you really have helped me in my journey to find true love.
Your post just reminded how important it is to love myself and to put myself first no matter what. I have been struggling with that for such a long time now. I have an issue of looking for people to validate me, simple thing like someone telling me I look beautiful or comment on my new hairdo and when they don't, I don't feel beautiful enough.
I recently met a guy in October last year, he was living with an acquaintance of mine (who is a lady). They were not dating but were friends with benefits. I met him there at her house and we instantly moved towards each other.Continue Reading
Getting a guy, attracting a guy, finding someone to love you has never been your problem.
Never.
Getting a guy who isn’t capable of seeing you, attracting someone who you actually want instead of the ones who mirror your own interpretations of what’s wrong with you and treat you accordingly, recognizing what it is you want in someone who loves you - these are the problem!
You want the guy who isn’t capable of seeing you to see you.
You want the guy who reminds you of someone else in your life who didn’t deserve your kind of love either.
And you’re basing love on such a short-sighted view of what it means to be loved that you’re missing the entire point of being in love with someone.
Love isn’t just a feeling.
Or if it is, and if that’s what love means to you, then accept that and go find someone who you can have that feeling with, without anything else. Just a feeling.Continue Reading
Beautiful Jalyn writes to tell us her story and it's one I know so many of us, myself included, have experienced first hand.
I was dating a guy for over a year. We are both 27.
He has two children and I have none. We went on dates, vacations, met each other’s family.
When we started dating it was a lot of red flags but I liked him a lot that I looked past all of it. We used to spend 2 days/nights together. In the last couple months he became distant. Now he disappears for a week or two.
I would get angry and send him nasty text messages calling him awful names. He would say it’s because of my temper and I’ll forgive him and take him back.
It happened at least 8 times.Continue Reading
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