Getting to TRUE Love

THIS Is How You'll Know if He Can Commit

can or can t toggle switch — Is he even able to make a commitment?

It's a question almost all of us have faced at one time or another.

Can he commit, or am I wasting my time?

It's a question that's so very important, because being able to recognize this one – whether he's even capable of being able to make a real, long term commitment to a real relationship – is the difference between you feeling empowered and you feeling absolutely heartbroken.

See, we’ve been told from almost the time we first came into this world that we could make someone love us if we just did everything they wanted us to.

While this may have first applied to our relationship with our parents or some other close care giver when we were very young, this programming continues throughout all of our relationships in our lives. Continue Reading

Do You Remember What It’s Like to Dream a Dream?

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Beautiful young woman with long hair lying on the grass — Come dream with me, Beautiful!

I haven’t been able to let go of a coaching session I had last week.

I saw her so clearly.

Like an old soul, a deeply feeling soul. A beautiful soul that touches the earth and feels everything it encounters.

Her obstacles were practical, logical, tangible, and undeniably so.

I couldn’t put a finger on it … yet. Until she revealed to me that this way I saw her so very clearly, the description I provided her with what I was seeing when I looked at her, when I heard her, when I truly listened, was all news to her.Continue Reading

I’m stuck. And Sad. I Need to Get Out.

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Beautiful woman sad sitting on the window sill and painting on glass feeling heartbroken because it's hard to move on. — I know I need to let go, but it's hard to move on.

We’ve got a beautiful sister who’s feeling stuck and sad, saying she needs to get out. She knows what she needs to do, but she needs our help and support to show her the way. She signed her letter "Anonymous", so I've called her "Ashley."

Here’s her letter:

Hi Jane.

I’ve been reading a lot of your posts / comments and I realized they sometimes give me lightbulb moments enough to nudge me forward. But they also make me cringe when I realize that some of them feel like it’s me the article is about.

I’m stuck. And I really need help.

I knew this guy from a dating app. It was instant attraction and chemistry. He was super keen and all that, so much so I started to believe he could be the one after all.Continue Reading

What Makes a Man Commit?

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man and woman holding hands symbolizing commitment — This is the most important piece.

What makes a man commit?

You’ve heard so many reasons.

Because he can’t resist you. Because you’re irresitable. Because you’re perfect.

But you know something? The most important piece of this has nothing to do with any of that, and everything to do with something YOU have control over. Here’s why.

Who you choose is so important here because if he’s compatible with someone else and not you, trying to become that other woman will only make you miserable in the end.

Because you aren’t her, and you don’t want to change to become her.Continue Reading

How Could He Let Me Go So Easily?

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A beautiful woman with her face in her hands because her self esteem is so low. — Why am I so upset over someone that put me through this?

Beautiful Ally is sad and heartbroken, wondering how her boyfriend of 6 months could let her go so easily.

Here's her story:

Hi Jane,

I'm an avid reader of your site and your advice has helped me before. I recently ended my relationship and I am having a hard time dealing with it. I feel like I made the right decision but I'm still hurting and confused.

A little background:

I met my boyfriend about 6 months ago.

I was out with a friend and he approached me. I initially was not all that interested but after a lengthy conversation I realized that there was some chemistry. He told me he was getting divorced (after 15 years of marriage), he had been separated over a year (has his own apartment and she has the house) and was moving forward with his life.

He was attractive, very smart and had a great job. I felt like we had a lot in common as I too am intelligent and successful. I have a great job, no kids and never married. He's 40 and I'm 43. He has two young children from his marriage ages 4 and 6.Continue Reading