Getting to TRUE Love

Don't Ask Him Why He's Pulling Away

A woman is upset after her boyfriend told her he wants to slow things down. — This is why you can't ask him why he's pulling away.

You close the door behind you. You’re safe now.

Safe.

The tears can flow, your heart can break. You’re there alone.

One more act of proof. One more thing you can’t deny.

Something has changed. And no, you don’t know why.

He talks differently, responds differently, communicates differently, acts differently, everything feels different than the way it used to be.Continue Reading

I Never Hear From Him Unless I Text

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Woman text messaging on her phone — We texted every day, then suddenly he went quiet.

This week, we’re hearing from one of our beautiful readers who's asked to remain anonymous. I'll call her Traci - she's reaching out for some help to see what she knows is true.

Here's her question:

Hi Jane,

I read a similar story on your website - I think I need someone to help me decide!

I have been talking to this guy since early Feb of this year, we have been planning to meet up, on one occasion he had to cancel and on two occasions I have cancelled.

We text everyday and it's lovely to speak to someone. We have arranged a date and both talking about how we're really excited to see each other!

Then suddenly, he goes quiet - no reason or explanation. Now, I never hear from him unless I message and sometime he will talk for a bit and then go quiet.Continue Reading

Programmed to be Nice

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The word nice carved in wood. — Maybe being nice isn't the way to go.

We’ve been programmed to be so “nice” that it’s no wonder we’re confused. We have so very few role models to show us what it means!

So many of us were raised by mothers who either were always “nice” or eventually blew up into something that was anything but what they preached at us to be. And the same went for grandmothers, aunts, cousins, sisters.

You name it, we women have so much to learn about being confident, assertive, and yes, that word “nice”.

It’s about setting boundaries and teaching these men in our lives how to treat us so that we don’t get to the point where we blow up into something we’re not, which is often how we end up before we realize something needs to change.

Sound at all familiar? Continue Reading

He Says He Wants to Take It Slow

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Speedometer showing too fast signifying a relationship. — Are we moving too fast?

Beautiful Ollie writes in to tell her story of her boyfriend who came on very strong in the beginning, but now wants to take a step back and slow things down.

Here's what she wrote:

I am a single mum of an 8 year old.

I met this guy for a coffee 2 months ago (we're both in our late 40's). We talked for hours, I never felt so comfortable and connected with someone, it was incredible.

The same afternoon, he came over to my place (I invited him) to show me some of his legal documents as he is in the middle of fighting custody of his children with his ex and I work in the legal area. He just needed to understand some forms.

While I was going through the documents, he played with my daughter. They had a blast together.

For the following days, he would text me first thing in the morning, ring me midday to see how my day was going, texting me before going to bed for a chat and goodnight. He popped by once or twice a week to say 'hi', play with my kid and have coffee with me.Continue Reading

Becoming Fearless. Again.

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The word fearless printed in a dictionary. — I want to be fearless again.

The words echoed back at me.

"Your mother was fearless."

It was a scene in Beauty and the Beast that stayed with me the entire night. And it made me realize something. Something big.

I want to be fearless again.

Oh, I used to be. We all used to be. Before we knew what we knew. Before we saw what we saw. Before we went through what we went through. We all remember that “used to be.”

Where did it go? Where did we go?

I used to believe I could do anything because my do anything was tied to my youth, to my being what the popular culture said I should be.Continue Reading

First He Pursued, Then He Dropped Me Like a Hot Brick

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A beautiful woman with her face in her hands because her self esteem is so low. — I opened my heart to this man.

Today I’ll be answering a question that beautiful Jenny sent in. She tells her heart wrenching story of betrayal from a guy who pursued her, told her everything she wanted to hear, only to suddenly pull away, growing cold and distant.

So what happened?

Here's her story:

OK, well here I am in my late forties and I was discarded by my husband three years ago. Devastation followed.

Two men since that and they were not the right ones for me as they eroded my self-esteem hugely so I ended it with both of them. I recently lost everything, my home, job, financial status due to my ex-husbands stupidity and running away leaving, me to deal with everything.

The guy who moved me warmed to me instantly, we seemed to have a connection right from the start.Continue Reading