Getting to TRUE Love

He Lied to Me

Her story:

Hello Jane,

I found your blog while searching for an answer to my question in Google.

I have been dating this guy for almost 4 months. I introduced him to my friends and family. My friends and family accepted him; he is the first guy I introduced to them. We planned our future and decided to get married this summer. I know people are questioning us why it's so quick when we just met.

Last week, I found out that he was married.

When I called him and asked him if it is true, he said yes, that he got married 6 years ago but that they already separated and his wife has her own family now.

I asked him why he lied not just to me, he lied to all the people around us.

He said he is single, and he doesn't want to talk about his past anymore.Continue Reading

Who benefits?

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A woman is standing near a railing looking over the water, thinking about letting go of her relationship. — It only keeps you trying too hard.

Who benefits from you believing you have to be perfect to be loved? Who gets rewarded when you hold the belief that you have to be something different than who you already are to "get" a guy, especially one of the good ones?

Who?

Is it you?

No, of course not.

These beliefs only keep you striving, trying too hard, discontented, lost, constantly searching for how to be better, different, and more perfect than who you already are.

We spend all our time, energy and money trying to gain that illusion of perfection that we don't even realize is only an illusion because we believe if we finally get it right, everything else will suddenly fall into place.

All those messages we've been told from the time we were old enough to read or watch TV or be marketed to in so many different ways, they've all told us the same thing.Continue Reading

He Ignores My Messages

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A woman looks at her phone wondering why he stopped texting. — He suddenly stopped messaging or even responding to me!

Our letter today comes from one of our beautiful readers around the world, who I'll call Louisa.

She's wondering about the behaviour of a guy she's been in contact with for two and a half months, after meeting him doing an archaelogical dig.

Regardless of where in the world you are, I think you'll find the same thing I've discovered in getting to know so many of you; that there are others just like you, with the same beautiful hearts and souls, everywhere on this beautiful planet of ours. I hope hearing from these women each week helps remind you of that, and makes you feel a little less ashamed to be you and a whole lot less alone.

Here's her story:

Hi Jane,

I have met a guy during archaeological excavations. We liked each other and we said that to each other.

We have a lot in common, but we kept some distance, not becoming very close with each other because we knew we would be separated soon in our countries and that would be sad.Continue Reading

You Know When it Happens?

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A beautiful woman is feeling lonely and sad, feeling as though nothing will ever change. — It's so hard to believe anything could possibly be any different.

You know when it happens for you, Beautiful? The moment right after you think it won't.

The very next moment after you think all hope is lost, that nothing's ever going to change for you, that you're simply destined to be alone forever, that you're simply one of the unlucky ones and that's never going to change.

That's when.

We think we'll know when we're getting close. That we'll somehow hear that voice along the way that tells us it's right around the corner.

But, Beautiful, it doesn't happen like that. Right up to the moment right before you know for sure, you won't believe anything could possibly be any different.

Until it is.

I hear this all the time.Continue Reading

Is He Just "Not Ready"?

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A beautiful woman is holding her head in her hands wondering if her boyfriend who has commitment issues is just playing games or if he wants a committed relationship. — Maybe I just need to move on.

Our letter this week comes from, Vicki, who's wondering if the man she feels a special connection with in their on-again, off-again relationship, will ever be ready for a real, committed relationship.

Here's her story:

Hi Jane,

I love your programs and I am really relating to some of the stuff you say. I particularly relate to Sue's letter.

I have had an on/off relationship with a guy for just over 15 months.

I am 51 and have sorted my life out, he is 53 and hasn't.

He has not sorted out all the baggage from his marriage - i.e. not divorced, just now selling the home because he is having financial trouble.

The trouble comes from being depressed or bi-polar or chronic fatigue that led to a truck load of self-esteem issues and to top it off he has 2 young girls (4 and 10) as well as 2 older boys.

So his life is hard.Continue Reading

Which Little Girl Were You?

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A beautiful young woman is standing near the beach in a dress. — What if you were that other girl?

I talk a lot about programming on here and there's a reason why.

The way we've been brought up and conditioned to believe the things we accept as truth about ourselves, about men, about relationships, about what's normal in general, are all because of the way we've specifically been programmed.

It isn't your fault that you're only attracting a certain kind of man.

It isn't because there's something wrong with you that you can't seem to get over what's been fed to you as truth.

Come back with me to when you were just a young girl learning about the world.

Now imagine being that impressionable little girl entering puberty, trying to figure out for yourself what it means to be a woman in a world of men.

And then imagine being told by your mother that God made women to have curves and breasts solely for the pleasure of men. Imagine the way you view the world, men, and your role as a woman, through that lens!Continue Reading