Getting to TRUE Love

The ONLY Way To Get Him Back

A beautiful woman with her face in her hands wonders what to do. — I'm just not sure what to do...

Some women are clear that when it ends, it’s over. They don't try to get him back and they actually don’t even want him back.

They see things clearly enough to understand the reasons why it ended and they recognize that unless he's changed in some pretty clear ways, getting him back isn’t a viable option – or at least not one that would be beneficial.

But then there’s the rest of us.

We're the ones who don’t want anyone else. We don’t even want to look anywhere else but right where he is. We’re not over him, we’re not seeing this as clearly as our friends, family, and coworkers are (they're too busy breathing great sighs of relief at the news).

We want him back!Continue Reading

Am I Rushing Things?

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A beautiful woman stands, looking downward, in front of a red brick wall. — I just want a little security, is that too much to ask?

Beautiful Diana decided to ask her long term boyfriend where he sees the relationship going, and the response she got was not at all what she expected.

Here's her story:

I am in my late 50s. I divorced my husband after 20+ years of very verbally abusive marriage. But I never lost the hope of what I will have one day - a nice, stable, loving and very committed relationship what will last forever.

I just do not want to waste my time with relationships that are just “dating”.

I work hard on my relationships, I am patient, and I know it takes time for two people to get closer and to be ready to commit. Unfortunately, no matter how good the relationship is, no matter how much he “loves” me, no matter how much he does not want to see me leaving after I had enough of waiting for him to get ready to commit, I am in the situation where I am leaving alreadythe 3rd “boyfriend” just because I do not see any signs of real commitment.

I dated my first (after the divorce) boyfriend for 1+ year.Continue Reading

One Word. NOW.

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Sand passing through the glass bulbs of an hourglass measuring the passing time representing wasting time in a dead end relationship with a man who won't commit. — Before another hour, before another day goes by.

I’ve got just one word for you today: NOW.

You need to hear this and you need to hear it now.

Before another moment goes by. Before another hour, before another day goes by.

I know just how important it is, first hand.Continue Reading

Am I Wasting My Time and My Heart?

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A beautiful woman looking pensive holds a clock wondering if she is wasting her time with her boyfriend. — Will he ever learn what it takes to be in a relationship?

This week's letter comes from beautiful Corinne, who tells her story of an on-again-off-again relationship with a man who can't seem to commit.

Here's her email:

My boyfriend and I were together for almost 3 years. We had a beautiful, fun relationship with so much love. The only thing that bothered me was that I always felt as though he was searching for something wrong with me.

Our relationship was really strong for about two and a half years, until things in his life started to change (he was graduating from college, I had already graduated but was staying local for a job). He talked about finding jobs together and moving in together, and sounded really optimistic about it.

All of a sudden, out of nowhere, he broke up with me and really didn't have an explanation.Continue Reading

Why Losing the Emotionally Unavailable Man is Never, Ever a Loss

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A beautiful woman sits on a bench in a park by herself. — It's not the loss you think it is. Here's why.

He’s gone or you left. Does it matter?

Not deep down in your heart where it hurts. Even if you were the one who said “enough”, it wasn’t really because you wanted to. It was because you felt you had to.

He couldn’t do it.

You tried everything to make him see, to show him what a mistake he was making if he threw it all away.

But the problem was, he couldn’t. He didn’t have it in him in the end. He may have tried, but we can’t speak for him. What we know is that he simply wasn’t capable.

I know you're heart broken. I know you're feeling down. But let me show you a different perspective here. One that took me years to figure out, and one I wished I’d had when I needed it most.Continue Reading

Everything Was Perfect, But Now He Just Wants to be Friends

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Happy young man and woman driving along country road in convertable at sunset. freedom adevnture roadtrip! — He broke things off, but now he wants to be best friends!

One of our gorgeous readers, Angela, has found herself stuck in the friend zone after the guy she was dating decided he wasn't ready for a relationship after all. The problem is, he wants to be close friends, but she still has strong feelings for him - she doesn't know what to do!

Here's what she wrote:

Hi Jane,

I was seeing someone for about a month. Everything was perfect until he dropped a bomb on me saying that he thought he was ready for a relationship, but he is not.

He says a relationship is not in his mind set, he just want to take time and find himself and figure out what he wants. He says he's not seeing anyone and not interested in dating anyone. He just wants to take care of himself.

But here's the thing, he wants us to be friends, more like best buddies. He keeps in touch everyday, we chat everyday. He checks on me if I don’t respond to his chats, he comes to my house just to say "Hi".Continue Reading