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You are here: Home / Archives for little girl

What I've Learned About Fathers

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Father and daughter playing outdoors in superhero costumes, on top of mountain looking in sunset
We always wanted him to be our hero.

I've written a lot about fathers. Especially about how it's our primary father-daughter relationship (or lack of one) that sets the stage for who we're attracted to when we're older.

Our entire understanding of the emotionally-available man is built around the type of relationship we had with our dads.

And so today, as I called my own dad to wish him a Happy Father's Day, I was reminded of what I've come to know for sure over the almost 2 decades since I've been with my husband now, a man who couldn't be more unlike my dad.

I know my dad did the best he could with who he was and what he was taught when I was the little girl I used to be.

See, there's a process we go through when we first realize the cause of so much of our pain is because we're chasing after a mirror version of what we were missing in our relationships with our dads.

If your dad wasn't someone who sought you out, who pursued you, who came to you instead of you always having to come to him if you wanted a relationship with him, you won't think twice about chasing after men now.

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Once upon a time, there was a little girl with a dream. Remember her?

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Beautiful little girl with big dreams, standing in a field blowing dandelion seeds.
What ever happened to her?

You remember her, don't you? She was you, not so very long ago.

What happened to her? Where did she go? What did she give up on? What did she go through that so tragically changed her?

See, there's something we're missing.

Someone, actually.

Someone to hear our stories.

Someone to see us in those stories.

Someone who cares enough to listen without judgement.

Someone who understands because they've been there before.

If you don't have that person in your life, I have some very good news for you.

You do today.

In honor of all of you, I've decided to devote today's post to being here, listening to your stories and answering as many of your questions as I can in real time today, below in the comments section of the blog.

Share your story in the comments below. Let me know what you need. Tell me how I can help you.

I'm here for you.

Love,

Jane

Which Little Girl Were You?

20 Comments

A beautiful young woman is standing near the beach in a dress.
What if you were that other girl?

I talk a lot about programming on here and there's a reason why.

The way we've been brought up and conditioned to believe the things we accept as truth about ourselves, about men, about relationships, about what's normal in general, are all because of the way we've specifically been programmed.

It isn't your fault that you're only attracting a certain kind of man.

It isn't because there's something wrong with you that you can't seem to get over what's been fed to you as truth.

Come back with me to when you were just a young girl learning about the world.

Now imagine being that impressionable little girl entering puberty, trying to figure out for yourself what it means to be a woman in a world of men.

And then imagine being told by your mother that God made women to have curves and breasts solely for the pleasure of men. Imagine the way you view the world, men, and your role as a woman, through that lens!Continue Reading

Remember When They Used to Ask You This?

20 Comments

A woman holding a dandelion in her hand blowing it away making a wish, signifying letting go.
It’s time for a new question.

When you were a little girl, they used to ask you, “What do you want to be when you grow up?”

You had so many answers back then.

But no one asks you anymore.

When they stopped asking, you stopped asking. You stopped dreaming. You stopped planning. You stopped hoping. You started looking back instead of forward. You started believing another voice.

Not the one of hope, but the one of the opposite of hope.

Hopelessness.

They convinced you you’d lived your best life already.

That you’re too late.Continue Reading

The Man He Can't Be

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Silhouette of a father and daughter who play outdoors at sunset background.
Our hearts long for what could have been, but our peace is found in what is.

Most of us know by now the role he played. The reasons behind why we chase. The explanation for why we choose the ones we do.

You’ve heard me speak about this significant father/daughter relationship, and from the perspective of Daddy’s Little Girl.

I’ve coached so many of you on how to understand and accept, but not stay there. To become aware, to break the cycle instead of repeating the patterns that have such a hold on us.

For a little girl who kept it all inside, who never, ever felt safe to be angry, I had plenty to be angry about when I finally allowed myself to feel that emotion for the first time in my life when I was safe with my own family, with a man who would love me not only in spite of, but because of every emotion I felt.

And angry I was.Continue Reading

There's A Reason

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A woman sits on a couch writing on her laptop, looking for dating advice.
When you reach out to me, there’s a reason - even if you don't know it yet.

Last Friday’s post generated a lot of valuable conversations! I want to thank each and every one of you for having the courage to speak up and say what it brought up for you. Now you have something more to work with that you didn't have before!

What did I mean about the difference between following someone else’s advice or particular rules, and making them one’s own? Why was there so much confusion about this vagueness, and why is it actually a very good thing?

Well, let me first back up.

When you reach out to me, there’s a reason. You know there’s something you need, and even though you don’t know what that is, you sense you’re close to an answer and just need that personal response to get it.Continue Reading

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About Jane Garapick

Hi, I'm Jane Garapick. I'm here to provide inspiration, support and empowerment on the journey to true love. I know what it’s like to have a broken heart, a broken dream, and a broken you. And I know for a fact, that your dreams can still come true! Read more...
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