When you were a little girl, they used to ask you, “What do you want to be when you grow up?”
You had so many answers back then.
But no one asks you anymore.
When they stopped asking, you stopped asking. You stopped dreaming. You stopped planning. You stopped hoping. You started looking back instead of forward. You started believing another voice.
Not the one of hope, but the one of the opposite of hope.
Hopelessness.
They convinced you you’d lived your best life already.
That you’re too late.
That you’re not wanted anymore.
There’s someone newer, better, more attractive, sexier, more like your old self used to be before you knew you were your old self; before you realized no one was asking who you wanted to be anymore.
No matter how young you are, our culture makes sure you feel it early and often.
It serves them, not you. Never you.
It’s time for a new question.
What will you become?
You're still that girl with big dreams!
What will you become? You're so much more than a woman with a broken heart!
What happened? She asks.
Where did she go? She asks.
How did it happen like this? She asks.
Where did the time go?
Once upon a time the world was your oyster. You dreamed. You planned. You were so excited to be the characters in the books you read. They came alive for you.
You came alive.
You're not too late. Your chances aren't all used up.
What’s your new dream? Maybe it hasn’t changed.
What keeps you believing it’s too late? What keeps you telling yourself you’re too old, you've missed your chance?
You're self-sabatoging yourself before you're even out of the gate with your self-talk about why it can’t still happen for you!
Dare to hope again! Dare to find that hope again for you!
Is there really somehting missing? Or has everything been there the whole time?
I was struck by the words of a woman in my LIVE group coaching session the other day, as she looked back on the years since she first met me, how I was still there whenever she needed me. I thought she was talking about the hope I have for her, the hope I've always had for her no matter what she's been through or how long it's taken her to figure out the things she's learned along the way.
No, it wasn't the hope she was talking about. For her, it was grace. That I'd "put up with her", that she hadn't been "too much" for me.
I was taken aback. Grace? How could I not have grace for her, for you, for every one of us who walks this path in our own way and time?
But that's exactly what we've become so used to. No one has grace for our slow walk through, our small steps - often two forward and one back, that leave us having to go back through and learn our lessons the hard way until we finally get it right.
Not because any of us consciously choose this, not because of some inherent flaw within us, but because our programming doesn't show us any other way to do it.
Isn't it time you had some grace for you?
Isn't it time you believed you were worth more than just some consolation prize thought up after the fact, and claimed the whole package instead? How about some grace for you?
It's time we create for you a new paradigm, a new reality that reflects the new, updated you.
What do you choose? What's your new "Happily Ever After" - refined for who you are now, today?
The question is no longer "What do you want to be when you grow up?" No, the question now is "What are you now ready to become?"
What's your new happily ever after? Is it real? Is it peaceful and content? Is it the highs and lows of the emotionally rich rollercoaster? It only matters that it comes from a place of your choice – you’re doing the choosing, even if you never felt you had a choice all along.
That's all in the past. You're here now, Beautiful. The past is about who you wanted to be. The present, right now, is about who you're about to become.
You're on the cusp of something new!
Don't stay with your breaking heart. Let it break you into something you never knew you could ever become BECAUSE of what you've been through, not in spite of it.
Love,
Jane
I want to hear from you. If you're in need of grace, you don't need to say anything more than "yes." I hear you, Beautiful. Share your "yes" in the comments below.
YES
A DEFINITE YES!!!!
Hearing you, Pamela. So glad you're here!
Here's a shaky, but loud YES
All too familiar, Angel. The loud but shaky yes.
Here's a shaky, but loud YES.
I am so ready for that change. I have been working on it for awhile and something led me here. I am on a journey and I am willing to do whatever it takes to be a new and different ME.
Welcome, Bari! Grateful to that "something" that led you here. We're going to walk through this together, one step at a time. Here's to the journey - and to discovering the you who's been there all along, waiting to be seen, to be heard, to be felt, to be loved for who you've always been underneath the weight of who or what you thought you were supposed to be!
YES!!!
Hearing you, Lisa! I'm so glad you're here.
I’m exactly where you say I am. On cusp of who will I be. Thank you for your encouragement.
Always, Janet. I see you! So honored you found your way here!
I'm 80 years old, alone in the world and depressed, and I want to move cross country to an art colony where I lived before. I don't think I can do it alone.
Oh Rose, make a plan. Where can you get the support you need to make that happen? I love that art colony that holds such beautiful memories for you. How do you get there? What would it take? What do you need to ask for, and who do you need to ask that of? Start with where you are right now. One step at a time from there. Who can do this with you? Who shares your dream?
Yes more than ever
Always, Clairey! Thinking so much of you, and hoping it's getting better, somehow, the more you see, the more you recognize the truth of who he was revealed so clearly in the end to you. Heartbreaking, but look at what he's showing you. Could you have ever lived with who you've seen him become now?
YES
I see you, Dana. So glad you're here!
Yes
I hear you, Karen. Honored to have you here!