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You're Looking for the Wrong Thing

4 Comments

A beautiful woman is feeling lonely and sad, feeling as though nothing will ever change.
We're going about it all the wrong way.

Something hit me the other day.

I've been thinking about this for awhile now, wondering about what makes the difference between those who have so much to offer and go on to find someone with ease, and those of us who struggle so hard to find what we're looking for, or even anything close.

I've tried to break this down for you in a way that you can clearly see what's happening, so that you can easily see this pattern, and put it into words so you can finally do something about it.

I've got those words for you now.

And what it comes down to is that most of us who are struggling so hard with meeting the right guy or the right people or the right job or the right whatever, are all struggling with the same thing.

We're on the wrong search.Continue Reading

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It's a Red Flag Every. Single. Time.

10 Comments

Woman and man sitting on a curb breaking up, man with his head in his hands
Because you need to know.

When he says "Let's see where it goes", the reality is it's a red flag every single time. Even though YOU think it’s reasonable because, well, "I don't even know!"

Here's the truth.

It’s not reasonable. It’s not.

It’s not an opening to what could be the most amazing relationship of your life – the one with Mr. Right.

And yes, that’s even if you don’t even know if this is the guy you want or the relationship you want until YOU “see where it goes.”

Here’s why.

You know why you’re here. You know what you’re looking for.

You're looking for a relationship – a real one – even if you’re not either going to be committing to someone who isn’t ultimately compatible with you.Continue Reading

Are you distracting yourself with THIS?

4 Comments

Closeup of a beautiful woman is looking sad becasue her boyfriend has disappeared on her and she wants closure.
You have to stop doing this to yourself.

If you've noticed there's a theme to my messages, my stories, and just about everything else I share with you, you're absolutely right.

It's the theme that says "There's nothing wrong with you; it's the wrong people in your life that's the problem!"

And while many of you push back on that because you've been so ingrained in taking personal responsibility for yourself and your actions to the point where you're the only one who's required to do that and everyone else gets off with an excuse, it's precisely by recognizing this theme as being true for you that you'll be able to take proper responsibility for yourself without the distraction of picking yourself apart like you've gotten so used to doing in the search for your answers!Continue Reading

Will he ever come around?

10 Comments

Close up of womans hand using mobile phone on a bokeh background, symbolizing that her boyfriend doesn't text her.
He messaged me out of the blue.

There’s a gorgeous woman I’ve been working with for awhile now, helping her get over a guy who keeps going silent, then coming back.

In and out.

When he’s in, it’s amazing. Then right after that, it’s too much and he’s out and then, well, not so amazing at all.

Those of you who’ve been here know exactly what that feels like. And how much we stretch for more of that amazing to come back around again.

She’s no different than you. I’ve been telling her the truth about him for awhile now. She gets it.

She’s getting there. Because the person we’re fighting the hardest with over whether to let go completely isn’t him or anyone else; it’s ourselves.

She got her confirmation yesterday. It came directly from him. So for all of you out there who can relate, she wanted to share this with you so that you can be reminded, too, that everything you know deep down in your heart of hearts - everything I keep telling you - it’s true.Continue Reading

The first question you need to ask yourself about your guy who won’t commit

26 Comments

A woman is upset after her boyfriend became emotionally distant and pulled away.
It may be the most important question you ever ask yourself.

I met her on our first coaching session. She desperately wanted to know what she needed to do to keep things moving forward with her guy. She had already decided he was the one for her.

Everything lined up.

He was tall, attractive, smart, funny and successful. He was the perfect complement to her own successful career. He completed the picture for her.

She came to me wanting to make sure she didn’t mess up. This was her guy and she was ready for him to commit to her.Continue Reading

Not Quite Ready to Let Go and Move On?

8 Comments

A beautiful woman sits on a park bench wondering why she loves him.
You're lonely with him, and you're lonely without him.

I want to be so gentle here with you, because I know exactly how it feels when you're in this situation.

You love this guy. You don't want to just let him go and start your own life.

Sure it feels good to say "I'm leaving him" and hear the cheers from every woman who's gone before you, every woman who's ever made this difficult choice herself, but this was never the way you wanted it.

You never chose this heartbreak, and all you wanted was for him to change back to the way he used to be when you fell in love with him in the first place.

You're lonely without him. You're lonely with him. You don't know which is worse and you're afraid to find out in case you make the wrong choice.

This was always the hardest decision you were ever going to make.Continue Reading

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About Jane Garapick

Hi, I'm Jane Garapick. I'm here to provide inspiration, support and empowerment on the journey to true love. I know what it’s like to have a broken heart, a broken dream, and a broken you. And I know for a fact, that your dreams can still come true! Read more...
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