We've all read articles or heard about the supposedly great places to meet men – places like the gym, the supermarket, the dog park, and of course the age old meeting place, the bar.
In my dating days, if I saw one of these lists with something on there I hadn’t tried yet I immediately made plans to try it the next chance I got.
I remember when I first heard that the grocery store was a great place to meet men.
What did I do?
I headed for the grocery store. During the hours of 7-9 PM. Because that was when they (whoever that particular they authority happened to be at the time) said was the most likely time to meet single men in grocery stores.
And then the stores must have caught wind of it, too, because many of those stores jumped on the bandwagon and started hosting singles nights (and many still do).
Because isn’t that what it’s all about?
Improving your odds, getting out there where the men are, where the ratio of single men to single women is in your favor?
Well, yes and no.
While all of these places can be a good place to meet men, and I’ve known people who’ve met their perfect match in all of those listed above, there’s really only ONE place to meet your perfect match, the guy of your dreams, the one.
Here: Anyplace that men like to go to that you also like to go to.
I know, it sounds so simple. But why don’t we do this? Well, it’s not always as easy as it sounds.
On the one hand, we know there are certain places that are known to have a favorable number of single men. Like sports bars, nightclubs, or any of the stereotypical places where men tend to gather with their buddies to grab a few drinks while checking out us ladies.
Then there’re places like Best Buy or the Apple Store. Or stock car races. And if you go to these places, chances are there will be plenty of single men to meet. But the question is, do you want to meet these men?
I mean, think about it. If you really aren’t that interested in sports, are you really going to be happy with a guy that’s glued to the TV every Sunday or whenever his team (or for many guys, any team) is playing? If you don’t even own a TV, will you be compatible with the guy who has to have every latest electronic gadget?
The same goes for the speedway – need I say more?
Now, of course, if you do like these things, than by all means get out there and meet these guys! Just make sure that you’re being true to yourself, and not just talking yourself into being interested in it in order to meet a guy.
If you’re only going to these places because your odds of meeting a single guy is higher, then it’s not going to be the best place for you to meet your future husband. The one who’s going to be compatible with you. Because if you do meet a guy there, he’s going to be pretty interested in what he’s going there for.
If you’re not that interested in it, then you’re going to have a very long rest of your life trying hard to be interested in it.
Another important point to make here is that if you meet a guy in a relatively random place, say the supermarket, what are the chances that he’ll be interested in what you’re interested in? You’re asking for quite a bit of luck to rely on a chance meeting in a random place to result in finding your dream man.
So what do we do?
Like I said, any of these places can be a good place to meet your guy, the key is to go to places that you’d go to anyway, even if there was no chance of meeting your special guy there. Places that are interesting to you, somewhere that you can develop your passions, enrich your life.
So if you’re into art, then head down to the local art community and see what kind of events are coming up. If you’re into hiking, join the local hiking club and start attending the meetings. If you always wanted to learn how to Tango, then take a Tango class.
Acting? Take an acting or improvisation class. If you love helping out others, check out the local community outreach programs.
Don’t worry about whether or not you’ll meet anyone while doing these things. If you’re doing what you want to do, and you don’t come any closer to meeting the man of your dreams, so what? You’re still having a great time doing what you enjoy, and you’re spending time following your own interests, your own passions, your own heart.
And by doing that you’re building your own life.
Only when we have our own life are we able to have a healthy relationship with someone else.
Are you getting what I’m trying to say here?
It’s fine to be going where the single guys are, but make sure you’re going to places that you’re interested in going to, too. Because those are the places where you’ll meet someone who shares your interests and values.
Regardless of how much the numbers might be in your favor hanging out at the stereotypical guy places, what you really care about is finding the guy who’s right for you, not just "a single guy."
Chances are your guy will be somewhere that you’d really like to be, too.