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The Relationships category contains posts regarding the stage after dating, in which you are generally in an exclusive monogamous relationship. The Relationships category includes posts on such topics as meeting the family, commitment, is he the right one for you?, etc.

Help! I've Tried Talking to Him but He Still Does the Same Thing

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Couple not talking after a fight on the sofa in living room at home
I've tried talking to him about my concerns but in vain

Our letter this week comes from beautiful Maureen. For all her attempts to address her concerns with her relationship, nothing has changed.

Here's what she wrote ...

I have been with this guy for quite some time. At first, we would meet up as often as possible - like twice in a week - but now not so often because we are both busy and I only get to see him once every two weeks.

The major concern is that he never communicates even if it's a good morning or calling in the evening to know how my day was. It seems like a task for him. He rarely initiates conversations unless I do or tells me he loves me unless I do.

He would go for days without texting me or even calling even if it's for a few minutes just checking up on me unless I do myself. Yet when he does,after days several days, he acts like we are okay.

At times he leaves me on read on whatsapp and yet he is online on several occasions.

I have tried talking to him about my concerns and he still does the same thing.Continue Reading

He Says I Should Just "Let Things Be"

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Rear view of a woman holding the curtains open to look out of a large light window at home.
I sometimes wish he could be there for me emotionally.

Beautiful Lydia wrote to me this week, asking for my perspective on a relationship she's in. Like so many before her, I know many of you will relate to her situation as well.

Here's what she wrote:

Hi Jane,

I hope that you are well.

I absolutely have no idea how you do this, how you manage to send such an email at a time when I need to hear these words the most. I have been following your blog for the past 6 years and I must say you really have helped me in my journey to find true love.

Your post just reminded how important it is to love myself and to put myself first no matter what. I have been struggling with that for such a long time now. I have an issue of looking for people to validate me, simple thing like someone telling me I look beautiful or comment on my new hairdo and when they don't, I don't feel beautiful enough.

I recently met a guy in October last year, he was living with an acquaintance of mine (who is a lady). They were not dating but were friends with benefits. I met him there at her house and we instantly moved towards each other.Continue Reading

Don't Do This to Yourself

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A woman rubs her head because she's confused wondering if he's into her or not.
You deserve so much more than this!

You've waited.

You've given him space.

You've waited some more.

You've initiated contact with him when you could wait no longer to understand what is going on. And yet he treats you like it's nothing.

Like you are nothing to him.

He agrees to talk, but can't even confirm this and leaves you hanging.

Let him go. Let it be.

You deserve so much more than this. So much more than him. Yes, he looked at you like that; yes, he gave you all those signs that seemed to say he was in it, too. But for whatever reason, he's not there.

Maybe it's his busy job, maybe it's his past, maybe it's a million other things that you could drive yourself crazy over trying to figure him out.

Don't do this to yourself.Continue Reading

He Doesn't Want Kids

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A beautiful woman is on a date with a man.
He says he doesn't want kids, but I think I might. What do I do?

Beautiful Eve asks a question I've heard from so many of my clients over the years and she's absolutely right; it's one of the toughest questions for any of us to answer.

Here's her email:

Dear Jane,

I have read your book and countless of your articles/answers and I absolutely adore you. You have helped me in the past and I hope you could help me now.

I’m not sure this is the type of letter you’d normally answer but I can give it a shot.

I have been in a long distance relationship for a little more than 2.5 years (we lived close by for half a year.) We live on different continents (he's American military and I am from Europe.) We see each other a couple of weeks a year and call every day.

We are an incredible match and he makes me feel happy and cared for.

We both feel that this year we should live together. I will be moving. It will be really difficult regarding job and visa, but I think it will be worth it. (He hates me giving up everything and would like to be the one moving but with his job, it’s not possible right now.)

What bothers me is the following.Continue Reading

Too Busy for a Relationship but Not Too Busy to String You Along

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Nobody is too busy, it is a matter of priorities - handwriting on a napkin with a cup of espresso coffee
He says he's too busy for a relationship because of work.

One of our beautiful readers, signed "In love with love", has a story that so many of us can relate to. The boyfriend that just can't seem to make time for (or commit to) a real relationship.

Read on for the full story:

Hi Jane,

I stumbled across one of your blogs, incidentally, a few weeks ago and have been hooked ever since.

You have a unique way of nailing all the issues with dating and love right on the head - it's to a point where you're reading, you think these blogs are made solely for you and speak to your own experience.

So Kudos for proving that relationship experts DO exist.

Anyhoo, I'd like to gather your thoughts on an issue that I've been dealing with. It's been some time since I've recapped events but I'll try my best to make it sensical.

In laymen's terms, I think I've fallen in love with someone who might love me back, but isn't letting themself. The only real excuse I've gotten is because he's too busy for a relationship because of work.

I don't buy that because I believe we make time for the  things and people we want. And if that's not me, why not just say so?

This would be a much easier pill to swallow if he would say he's just not that into me or doesn't see us working out. That I can understand. But this limbo we've been teetering in for months is mentally debilitating and hindering me from moving on.

Can you please advise?Continue Reading

I'm Riding the Relationship Roller Coaster

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Unhappy couple after fight not talking to each other
He acts like he doesn't care.

Beautiful Kaylie is in an on-again-off-again relationship roller coaster of a relationship (sound familiar anyone?)

Here's what she wrote:

So, I’ve been dating this guy for a little over 8 months.

We always break up but end up getting back the same day (or the next day), so basically “disagreements” you can say. He used to try when we were together but this time I think we're done for good.

He told me he isn’t getting back with me because he wants me to be happy.

I keep on chasing him but he acts like he doesn't care.

What should I do? Does he miss me or will he miss me?

-KaylieContinue Reading

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