Finding your YOU that leads to TWO
One of our gorgeous readers, Emma, has been dating a guy for five months who suddenly told her that he needed some space, and then subsequently disappeared.
Dear Jane,
I have been dating this guy for around five months.
We aren't officially together yet but we have both expressed the interest in being officially together. He works night shift and has to work most weekends with his job and lives a hour and a half away.
I only get to see him once a week usually.Continue Reading
It’s the simplest thing.
It all begins simply by noticing. Noticing.
You have to stop long enough to notice if you’re going to see anything different at all. Your soft skin, your silky hair, your beautiful eyes.
Your strong arms. Your long legs.
Brushing each strand of your gorgeous, sensuous hair in long, broad, strokes.
Consciously noticing.
One of our beautiful readers, who has chosen to remain anonymous (I've called her "Hurting"), has been dating a man for 3-1/2 years who has been playing with her heart, but she just can't bring herself to let go.
Hi Jane:
I would like to start off by saying how much I enjoy receiving your newsletters everyday. Sometimes, when I read them, I feel like you can see right into my current situation.
I have been with a man for 3 1/2 years now (IF you want to call it being with) who has been playing with my heart. For the first year and a half, he made it very clear that I was just a temporary fixture in his life. He did tell me that he couldn't promise anything, and who knew what tomorrow would bring.
But, he would lie to me a lot.Continue Reading
One of our beautiful readers, who calls herself "Bdoll", has been with an emotionally unavailable guy on and off for the better part of the last five years. He had consistently told her that he didn't want a serious relationship, only to suddenly break up with her and start a serious relationship with another woman.
I dated someone for 4.5 years on and off. They say when someone says they don't want to get married, or have a long term relationship, it means "with you!". Or does it mean 'in general'.
He told me from Day 1, that he did not want a relationship, but had one in every sense of the word anyway. The chemistry between us was like nothing I had ever experienced before, it was the pinnacle of any adult relationship I had had previous.
The timing was not right for him, and I believe this to be critical for a man.
This was a 52 year old man, never married. Very charismatic, educated, smart, and had been in plenty of relationships, live-in and long term. Had his choice of woman, always. But wasn't settled in his career, and very unhappy about it.Continue Reading
Amidst all the excuses we have for him. Amidst all the stories we tell ourselves about why he treats us the way he does.
Amidst all the reasons we have for staying with him, there lies one simple truth.
He’s choosing, too.
He’s choosing to do what works for him.
He’s choosing to not call.
He’s choosing to text you for last minute plans.
These are choices, not excuses, not reasons, not subconscious dilemmas or long-thought out processes.
This is him choosing, too.Continue Reading
One of our beautiful readers, who has chosen to call herself "Always Baby", or "AB" for short, has been in a long term on-and-off relationship with a guy who just can't seem to truly commit.
I am 40. I met my boyfriend when I was 36.
We were together for a few years, split for 12 months, and got back together. We have now been back together for over a year.
My boyfriend told me on the first date he would never fall in love again, he would never marry again, and that was that. Maya Angelou says when people tell you who they are the first time, listen.
I should have.
Our chemistry was amazing..the date was planned around my loves (a play, dinner at the most romantic place)...the banter between us, sexual tension, instant connection--it was all there.
So I dated him.
The process of our relationship -- dating, to committed in regards to being his girlfriend took almost 7 months...and slowly, it hasn't grown much. We broke up when he took Chantix to quit smoking. It had horrible side effects on him including a withdrawal from life, passion, intimacy, his child who he has primary custody of, his personality -- he just became a depressed, dark man. I tried to stay with him. He eventually cut me out.
I thought about him every single day for that year that followed.Continue Reading
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