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The Problem with "Broken"

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Woman looking into a broken mirror representing her low self-esteem.
It does more damage than all our other programming combined.

There's a single word for what we've been told about ourselves that does more damage than all our other programming combined.

Amongst all the stories we've been told about who we are, where we've come from, and why we can never trust ourselves more than we can trust someone else who always knows better than we do, it's the story that tells us we're broken, that we've always been broken and we need someone or something outside of us to save us from ourselves.

Sound familiar?

The problem is that when we've accepted this as our own story for so long, we stop questioning it. And even worse, we forget we even have the right to. And we don't even see that there is a problem.

See, when you've been told you're broken, when you've been told you have to go to some being outside yourself to ask for forgiveness for the simple act of being human, you're going to have a hard time believing you're not.Continue Reading

The Right To

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Young smiling woman outdoors understanding her right to.
You have to first understand you actually have the right to.

Every single one of the answers to your questions becomes clear when you focus on just one thing.

Your power.

That’s it.

Everything else you’ve been told carries so much weight. Everything to do with "Should I call?", "How long should I wait to text?", "Should I break up with him?", "How long should I wait for a commitment?"

Every one of our questions has to do with us owning our own power and remembering who we are in light of that power.

It’s the opposite of ourselves as victim, or ourselves as powerless to change what we’ve resigned ourselves to.

I can’t stress this enough. Question why. Ask yourself why.Continue Reading

Why You Need to Lean In to Let Go

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Beautiful woman walking in the field and runs hand through the high dry grass in autumn.
You don’t go down. You don't become powerless. You don’t lose your shine.

I did it again.

I put my foot in my mouth. In my excitement, my passion, my well-intentioned motive to connect more deeply, I say or do something that makes me feel awkward.

Again.

I should be getting used to this by now, but it’s still an uncomfortable place for me. So I’m learning a new way of dealing with, well, me.

If I allow myself to care so much about what other people are now going to think of me, or what they’re going to say about me, then I’ve given them all the power.

But if instead I recognize that no, this is all me - that I said what I said with all that passion behind it because this, too is the authentic real me - then I keep every bit of my power. And maybe I even gain some.

I’ve been thinking about this lately, because, well, it came up again.Continue Reading

The Undeniable Power of "Yes"

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A beautiful woman rising up from the grassy field with her hands in the air proclaiming Yes!
There’s a power here you can’t imagine.

When we’ve tried again and again and it still hasn’t worked, when we’re so tired of having to explain why it happened again to the same people we had told this time was different, it’s hard to feel passionate about anything.

And yet this is what love and life asks of us.

Are we sure? Is this what we really want?

There are few actions we can choose to take that will elicit the power of everything around us more than the power of saying “yes.”

Far too often we find ourselves saying “I guess so” or “maybe” out of fear, out of uncertainty or out of our need to know the end result first before diving in.

Our first reaction may be indignation or even anger at even the suggestion that we might not know what we want or be sure enough.Continue Reading

Why Some Women Pull It Off, But Some Can’t

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A beautiful woman looks out over the ocean.
They make it look so easy.

Some women can do anything and they STILL get their man. They make it look so easy.

“So why can’t I?” You wonder.

The very fact that we’re looking for a list of rules to follow is the reason why.

We think if we just do this and that, or what someone says we should do, we’ll have it.

We’ll get the guy.

But the problem is that following a list of rules only gets us that list of rules. It doesn’t get us the guy!Continue Reading

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