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Why Did He Disappear On Me?

14 Comments

Angry woman stood up on a date in a coffee shop looking at her phone
On that day, I got ready, I  was happy, and sat there waiting.

Our letter this week comes from our gorgeous friend, Jade, as she tells us the story of her rocky relationship with a disappearing guy.

Her letter:

Before I ask my question, I want to give you a background story.

I've been with this guy for almost 3 years now. We've had ups and down the first year, but that's normal. But then came the twist.

Around January 2015 he left to boot camp, everything seemed okay after 3 months of not hearing from him, but then around August of last year, he left to North Carolina for school (Military) and he changed.

He stopped calling me and texting me, I caught him flirting with women on social media, he deleted photos of us, he would tell those women how he felt for them, (ex: "I find you really pretty...") and so on.

He would then tell me how annoying I was and clingy, take in mind that we were in a long distant relationship.Continue Reading

Should I Throw In The Towel and Just Walk Away?

21 Comments

Image of an attractive woman upset over her boyfriend.
After 4 months of dating he still won't call it a relationship.

One of our gorgeous readers, Geena, writes to tell us about her boyfriend of 4 months who's pulling away and still doesn't consider what they have to be a relationship!

Her letter:

Hi Jane,

I have been dating a guy for over 4 months. I felt immediately connected to and comfortable with him, which is unusual for me, as I'm shy. In the beginning he gave me a lot of attention via text and phone calls when he was away for work.

He is out of town for work all week and is only home on weekends. He has his kids every other weekend, so that has left us with only 2 weekends a month to see each other.

For the first few months we got together every weekend we could, but only for one night, not the entire weekend.

He's been very open with me about himself.

He has made himself vulnerable by telling me about insecurities he has and things that happened to him in past relationships and in his childhood. He's extremely affectionate and appreciative when we are together. He truly makes me feel like I am the only woman on earth when we are together.

About 6 weeks ago I asked him if he felt we had the healthy and mature relationship he had told me he wanted in the beginning and wanted he kids to see. (I haven't met his kids yet, and completely understand his feelings about not introducing them to a woman until he is in a relationship with her).Continue Reading

I Know He's Not The One For Me - Why Am I Upset He Moved On?

7 Comments

A beautiful woman sits on a beach looking sad because her ex has moved on.
How do I stop feeling so angry and empty and sad?

One of our gorgeous readers, who has called herself "RasberryRush", is feeling empty and sad that her ex has moved on, even though she knows he was not right for her.

Her story:

Hi Jane

I am baffled by myself, truly baffled.

My ex and I have been on-and-off for about 3 years now - he couldn't give me what I wanted in terms of a future together and I knew we were going in different directions in life.

We stayed intimate here and there (for the 3 years) and we would talk/text frequently every day. I think we fooled ourselves into thinking we were doing the 'friends' thing really well, but we weren't friends.

We were an oddly formed pair who acted like a couple in all but name.

Distance was a factor as we live around 3 hours apart - he's unwilling to move and for family reasons I can't. I feel like we knew we were each other's Mr/Ms Right Now as opposed to being the real deal.

So why then am I so totally crushed and angry that he's been out on a couple of dates with someone?Continue Reading

The One Thing You Absolutely Need to Say Goodbye To

36 Comments

A clock with the words time to say goodbye on the face.
It's time.

It’s the end of the year.

Another year.

Most likely another year that didn’t bring you the love you were hoping for.

Another year that ended before you were ready to claim defeat.

Another year that missed the mark in all that it promised to be at the start.

It’s enough to make the strongest among us lose ourselves in what could have been, what should have been, and what we so wanted it to be.

But there’s a problem with this approach.Continue Reading

Why Can't I Let Go and Move On?

63 Comments

A beautiful woman looking down sadly, trying to let go and move on.
I want so badly to let go but I just can't!

Why do so many of us find it so difficult to move on, even when we absolutely know in our hearts that it's the best thing to do? I know I've been there, and our stunning friend Anastasia is there right now.

Here's her email:

Why can't I let go and move on?

I've been in a long distance relationship for 2 years off and on. The last time he broke up with me was 5 months ago and we have been on again off again since. I finally went no contact a month ago because even though we were talk he kept saying I care about you but don't want a relationship anymore.

We contacted each other again just last week and he was sweet for a day or so but is now being disrespectful.

I want so badly to let go but I'm having such trouble.

I'm starting to feel my self respect drifting away because I don't want to lose contact again...

Help..Continue Reading

Which Path Should I Choose?

35 Comments

A beautiful woman walks down a path, representing different choices in her relationships.
Please help me make the right decision!

What do you do when the ex who couldn't commit suddenly decides he wants you back - but you don't know if it's just because you've moved on with someone he knows, or because he actually wants you back? What would you do?

Well, that's what our beautiful reader, Jessica, wants to know. I'm featuring her email on the blog this week, and with all the experience this community has with exes who won't commit, I know she's come to the right place.

Here's her story:

Hi Jane,

I have a point of crossroads and I would really appreciate your guidance.

Basically my ex boyfriend and I were in a committed relationship for about two years when he was offered a job in the US. Because of the visa laws it was a situation where we would either have to commit or try another option.

Instead of exploring the different options he froze and abandoned the relationship, treating me very disrespectfully, revealing a side that I didn't recognize and cheating on me multiple times. This was about six months ago.

He then went off to the US and then a lot sooner than I expected I actually began to see somebody else and move on which unfortunately happened to be an acquaintance of his.

So as things began to develop with the new guy I knew I needed to tell my ex to be fair to the situation as they had known each other and not to hurt him anymore than the news could already. Since he had been gone I'd heard from him occasionally and of late had a couple more emotional messages of missing me and regret which I closed down and asked for his respect in leaving me be.

But when I told him about my new situation he basically reacted in a way that I totally didn't expect.Continue Reading

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About Jane Garapick

Hi, I'm Jane Garapick. I'm here to provide inspiration, support and empowerment on the journey to true love. I know what it’s like to have a broken heart, a broken dream, and a broken you. And I know for a fact, that your dreams can still come true! Read more...
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