Getting to TRUE Love

Finding your YOU that leads to TWO

Living Together Without Commitment

11 Comments

Couple in bed, woman with insomnia, wondering how long to wait for commitment.
How long should I live with him without more of a commitment?

The question this week comes from our beautiful friend, Michelle. She's been living with her long term boyfriend for quite a while now, but she's wondering how much time to give him to make more of a commitment.

Here's her story:

I've been dating a guy exclusively for 15 months. We both own a home but he has been living with me for 7 months. Since he has his own bills and mortgage he doesn't help me with anything, including groceries.

Is this normal?

We've both been married before, myself twice and him three times. We're trying not to make the same mistakes.

We are both very different from our previous spouses. Which has been great!

We love each other very much. There is no fear of anyone else or cheating.

I'm just wondering how long is reasonable to let him live with me with no commitment and no financial assistance.Continue Reading

Are You Asking for Too Much?

29 Comments

Unhappy couple after fight not talking to each other
It’s not that you’re asking for too much, it’s who you’re asking it of.

It's a question I hear from so many of you: Am I asking for too much?

I need you to think about this one, because if we're ever going to stop taking this out on ourselves, we have to separate the two.

It’s not that you’re asking for too much. Oh you’re not!

For someone who’s on the same page as you, who’s ready for a real committed relationship and knows that’s exactly what he wants and nothing less, what you’re asking for is entirely reasonable and doesn’t need to be defended or explained to anyone!

But if we’re talking about someone who for all he may say he’s ready for a relationship but doesn’t show you with his real life actions that he actually is, then you're going to feel like you’re asking for too much for a very good reason.

And this reason is because there’s a disconnect between the two of you.Continue Reading

It's the Opposite of What We Think

8 Comments

Beautiful young woman with long hair lying on the grass
What if you could look at it another way?

We look around and we see so much of what our culture calls strength among our friends, our colleagues, our role models, almost everyone it seems. They let things roll off them, they don’t take everything so personally, they walk away without looking back.

They make everything  look so much easier than the way it feels to us.

The way it feels to us.

It’s this part of us that gets the least amount of validation from the world around us and the people who are the least like us. In a world where success is evaluated by the measurable things that have nothing to do with our hearts, it’s no wonder we can feel so wrong, so misplaced, so counter to what we feel so otherwise pressured to be.Continue Reading

The Irony: Why the Ones Who Can’t Commit Choose You

20 Comments

Definition of word irony in dictionary
Why is it that the ones who won't commit keep choosing us?

It makes no sense to you.

It can’t.

How can the very ones who can’t commit keep on choosing you? No matter how much you’re drawn to them, no matter how many times you keep finding yourself attracted to them, there’s another side to this.

He chooses you.

Why?

Because of the way you love. Because of the hope you give him. Because of exactly who you are.

This man you’re trying so hard to get a commitment out of, to prove why he should pick you, is exactly the man who needs you.Continue Reading

What Do I Do About His Commitment Issues?

13 Comments

A beautiful woman is upset with her boyfriend over his commitment issues.
I want to settle down but he has commitment issues.

One of our beautiful readers, Charlotte, is at a loss to know what to do about her boyfriend's commitment issues. I know so many of you have similarly faced this in your own relationships, or are going through this now. I've given my response below, but I know she'd love to have your take on her situation as well.

Her Letter:

Hi Jane,

Due to your experience in the matter I thought that maybe you can help.

I have been together with my boyfriend for five years. We have had our share of troubles, but are still together. On an everyday basis he is nice to me - giving me massages, taking care for me etc.

However, whenever we talk about the future, he becomes indefinite. He keeps putting off having a family or marrying.Continue Reading

Our Biggest Mistake

12 Comments

A beautiful woman sits realizing she's made a huge mistake in her relationship, as her boyfriend walks away.
It's time to see the reality.

Like so many of us, I used to wonder what was so wrong with me.

My relationships all started out with such amazing potential, only to end in utter heartbreak. I couldn’t understand why it kept happening, why he always changed from what he was in the beginning.

I was convinced there must be something wrong with me!

What I eventually came to realize was that he didn’t change at all; it was that I had created an image of him that he simply couldn’t live up to.

Of course it wasn’t only him. No, the truth was that I knew nothing about being real either.Continue Reading

Latest Tweets

Recent Comments

Calendar

June 2025
M T W T F S S
 1
2345678
9101112131415
16171819202122
23242526272829
30