It’s the question I hear most often.
Does he change?
You want to know. You need to know.
Because more than anything else, this is what you fear.
That you’ll draw your line in the sand. That you’ll say those words that will put an end to what might be. That you’ll put yourself in a place where there’s no going back.
And then he’ll change.
Your worst fear is you’ll be too late.
You’ll have said the words you can’t take back. He’ll have heard you loud and clear this time. But instead of coming running to find you, to meet you, to take you back – he’ll have had enough, too.
He’ll be ready for more. But not with you.
He’ll be ready to commit. But not to you.
He’ll step up to the plate. But it won’t be with you.
Just the thought of that leaves you motionless, unable to live with the way things are, but unable to do anything else because of this fear.
After all, you’d only have yourself to blame.
It’s why everything hinges on the answer to this question. Does he change? What is the chance that he might? You’ll take a percentage, a close estimate, anything to give you some idea of what that chance might be.
Will he? Can he? Is it even possible?
The fact that you’re here, asking in the first place, gives you your answer more than anything I could possibly say. You already know the truth, even as much as you don’t want to.
We’re so programmed to believe he does. We’ve been brainwashed with every single love story we’ve ever watched that leads us to believe he will.
But this isn’t a fairy tale. This isn’t a movie.
This is your life.
Living for that ending that’s been scripted to sell movies can only lead to heartbreak. But in real life, it’s not your character that ends up heartbroken, it’s you.
Yes, people can change. And yes, he has his own journey to walk. Sometimes things happen to give us reason to pause, to look at our lives, to question whether there might be a different way. Yes, any number of things can happen to inspire this kind of change.
Like meeting you.
But if you live your life only waiting for that change, holding something so completely out of your control in your hands, you’re already heartbroken now.
Come back to reality. Come back to what your life is like right now.
Can you accept this? This right now moment in your life. This right now being with him. The way that he treats you now. The way that you feel now.
The longer you stay with someone who can’t give you what you long for, the longer you convince yourself that you can, the more it takes a toll on your self-esteem, your self-confidence, your beautiful you.
Do you change? That’s the more telling question to ask yourself. How can you not change when you choose someone whose mixed messages betray the reality that he’s not choosing you?
Being with someone like this changes you!
Into a shell of yourself. Into someone unrecognizable. Into someone who’s lost all sense of herself in the process of trying to change him.
This is where the real damage is done.
But break free from choosing someone who can’t give you an answer, who can’t tell you what he wants, who can’t give you anything more than a chance on a dream that’s all your own, and just watch how you turn that change into a positive new you!
Watch how you soar. Watch how you discover wings for yourself that you never knew before. Watch how you become something you could only have dreamed of before. Watch how you grow into you. Beautiful, Radiant, Confident You.
More than a dream. The real you.
You see, Beautiful, this isn’t about the fantasy of you changing him. It’s about the tragedy of what waiting around for him does to you!