If you’re anything like me, you know what it’s like to always be looking for that elusive secret.
Trying to figure out what you’re missing to finally get it right. To finally find and be found by the guy that would be the right one for you.
Or at least the guy who would be the right guy to enjoy a real relationship with.
Because like you probably are, I was so tired of finding myself in dead-end relationships over and over again. It took me a long time, too, to finally attract the right kind of guy into my life. No matter how many books I’d read or advice columns I’d found.
In looking back, I realize that what was eluding me was simpler than anything I was making it out to be.
The secret was me!
I had everything I needed to make the change in myself if I could just see myself for what I really was. For who I really was. But that meant a shift in consciousness for me. Because up until that point, I thought it was all about me trying to be everything that a guy wanted me to be.
I didn’t realize that I was everything I needed to be just by being myself. Because I didn’t know myself well enough in the first place to have any sense of confidence about myself.
How can you have confidence when you don’t know what you’re confident about in the first place?
So in my usual slow-to-get-it method (that I’m going to save you from having to go through!) the light finally dawned on me; it was all about me!
If I was going to attract something different in my life, a different kind of guy who would finally be able to give me what I needed, I needed to first look at myself. And once I figured out that I was worthy of a guy who treated me like he actually cherished me, it changed what I put out there.
I was able to exude the type of genuine self-confidence and high self-esteem that can only come when we finally get that we really are worthy of love. The real kind. With a real guy.
Do you get what I’m saying here?
There is no secret strategy, no magic formula, or special prescription. It’s all there – inside you! Because when you exude that kind of confidence, when you truly feel that way about yourself, when you can silence that voice that wants to say “who do you think you are?” with “I know exactly who I am and what I deserve!”- that’s what I’m talking about here!
When you finally believe it for yourself, the universe and all that is around you, including that guy who’s been waiting patiently for you to come around – they all rise up to see your light and confirm you, too!
Because that’s when everything starts to change. When you finally believe in yourself.
So how do you go from where you’re at now to this new way of seeing yourself?
It doesn’t happen overnight. But it will happen. To you, too.
It starts with taking an assessment of everything you like about yourself, and everything you don’t. And looking at yourself with compassion and love. You are exactly who you are meant to be – flaws and all.
What you don’t like about yourself, work to change, and what you do like about yourself, cherish. Cherish you. With all your imperfections.
Because none of us are perfect, nor are we meant to be. And neither will your guy be perfect. And in the process of becoming all that you were made for, keep reminding yourself that you are beautiful just the way you are.
We all have things we’re working on. We all have our rough edges along with our smooth ones. The point is to recognize that you have everything in you already and you don’t have to do anything to try to get someone to love you.
A work in progress is just as deserving of love as a finished masterpiece. My wish for you is simply to know that you are enough just as you are. Because when you believe in yourself with a confidence like that, there’s no telling what life and love has in store for you!
P.S. If you’re feeling so far from seeing yourself in this kind of light right now, come back tomorrow to find out more about how you get to the place we’re talking about here. Because it truly begins with you!
Jane,
When I was going through my heartbreak a couple years back, your videos and program resonated with me. It was like having someone finally understand what I was going through. I still feel this way today.
You say things just the way they need to be said (sometimes a bit wordy :-)) but you get it. You are wise beyond your years. I don’t know all the crap you had to go through to be so insightful but thank you for surviving it and and being mindful of it to help inspire others. You certainly have a talent that I appreciate.
When I got out of my heartbreak, I had an elderly man (12 years my senior hit in me, I was shocked, after all he was “old” but after that initial shock we began to have a friendship. A friendship at that time is what I needed, he was the most kindest, sweetest, supportive man I have ever met. It took me a while but then I thought perhaps that is what I needed. A mature man and nit some guy chasing the same old thing, I proceeded to allow myself to open up and trust him to see what possibility could be. He has been single for over 18 years now, and has many friends, both male and female, which didn’t bother me at first since I had no feelings for him and didn’t want a relationship with him, but after a “long” while I started to have feelings for him, still scared to admit it, I thought we were developing something, but recently I realized (confirmed) that he was buying gifts and hanging out with other woman which for me just isn’t right. I told him so. I had the strength to stand up for my values. If a man wanted to be with me he could not be emotionally involved with other ladies, he thinks that because there is no sex that he is not emotionally involved, but I first hand experience how his kindness can create such an environment. So I told him that I had to stop being his friend. I wanted a man that was only emotionally involved with me. I’ve felt great ever since. Standing up for what you need in a relationship is empowering. I used to be the kind of girl always pleasing the man but no more. I so tired of getting less than I deserve and I realize now I was responsible for that happening. Never again!
Thank you once again for being my virtual friend and giving me your continuous support!
I hope you realize how appreciated you are!
Sincerely,
Bonnie
Oh, Bonnie - always! I'm so touched by your words and so honored to be walking beside you if only in the virtual sense. I followed along, waiting for the rest of the story with the happy ending and then read YOUR happy ending: you chose you. You had a line, you found it, you remembered it and that's why you felt great! You found my own language, Bonnie, the language we have to learn when our hearts are broken too many times. Love hearing from you today and thrilled to know you've been here all along! ❤