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I'm So Confused!

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A woman is looking up at question marks above her head.
Am I being over sensitive and reading too much into it?

Our letter this week comes from one of our beautiful subscribers, Angela, who finds herself confused over the hot and cold behavior of her boyfriend of two months.

Here's her story:

Hi Jane,

I have been seeing a man for almost 2 months. He is a truck driver and is on the road a lot. He has 2 children; one is much older (an adult), the other is young son. He sees him every other weekend.

In the beginning we spent hours and hours a day on the phone. Talking about everything imaginable. Things from our childhoods (both good and horrible things). We talked about past relationships and divorces. We talked  about our children and things they are into and things we do with them as a family.

We talked about sexual things and sent risqué pictures to each other. We would say we miss each other, can't wait to see each other, and give compliments on each other's pictures and how beautiful we think each other is.

We also sent regular pictures such as places he was driving through and things our kids were doing. Pictures of just our faces.Continue Reading

This Is What You Need to Do About the Man Who Won't Commit

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A beautiful, exuberant woman is in a field with her arms raised towards the sun.
Do this first - then you'll know what to do with him.

I talk to so many women who all want to know what they should do about a particular man who's dragging his feet, who comes and goes but not on any schedule they can count on, who's all but living like a single guy while he's supposed to be in a relationship with them.

Every one of their friends tells them to dump him, but the truth is, until you're ready to dump him, you can't, you won't, and you're going to be miserable if you do.

You already know what you're going to do regardless of what I or anyone else say you should do. So I'm going to tell you to do something else.

Shift the focus from him to you.

Find out everything you can about why you are the way you are and how your personality combined with your environment to make you the way you are.

Find some people or animals or cause or something else outside yourself that desperately needs all that love you have for him, and pour your heart into that. Continue Reading

What if You CAN'T Let Go?

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A beautiful woman is sad because she's spending the holidays alone.
Sometimes the quick fix just doesn't work.

What if you don't let go?

What if you don't get over it?

What if you don't get over him?

You say you have to, that THEY say you have to, that it's in your best interest.

But what about you?

You know why so many women and men find me after they've been through all the advice and heard all the shoulds of what they're supposed to do, only to find it's not working for them?

Because the quick fix, get over him, block him, let go, move on type of advice only works if you're actually there yourself.

Otherwise, you're left with one big gaping hole in your heart, because all you’ve done is follow the instruction of someone who was never you, who's never known what it's like to be your own heart and soul.Continue Reading

He's Stuck On His Ex

10 Comments

A beautiful woman sits on a couch away from her boyfriend, wondering if she can live with this.
It hurts so much, but I don't want to lose him!

Our letter this week comes from one of our beautiful readers I'm calling Sandy. I'll let her tell you her story below.

Here's her story:

I met a wonderful man this last summer and we immediately hit it off. We are both in our 50's and I cannot begin to explain to you how many things we have in common, how often we laugh together, and our communication has been amazing.

We love to just spend time together.

He tells me he loves me something terribly and I feel the same way. It’s one of those type of relationships where everything is perfect for the both of us, EXCEPT one thing.  We both agreed and still agree to this day we have something special, we are best friends.

He was married for 21 years and after he divorced, he dated another woman for a year and a half. It was a toxic relationship and ended one sided several times with her leaving him.Continue Reading

I'm Heartbroken Over Someone Who's Still Pining for His Ex

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A beautiful woman sits on a park bench wondering why she loves him.
Did I do the right thing letting him go?

Our letter today comes from one of our beautiful readers, Victoria. She's asking for some advice on the heartbreak she's experiencing over someone who's clearly still looking in the rear-view mirror for his ex. Her sister's about to be at her wits' end listening to her (haven't we all had family members like that!), so she's hoping to get some fresh advice on here.

This is her story ...

Hi Jane,

Thank you for your comments about unavailable men and us thinking they are with us when in fact they are somewhere else. I just wanted some unbiased advice as I think my sister will be fed up of me shortly and I'm on an emotional roller coaster often ending up in tears.

I have been divorced for a long time, found it difficult to get over my husband leaving so threw myself into guarding my heart to make sure it wasn't broken again and raising my child.

I was introduced by friends 8 months ago to a lovely man who I thought was perfect for me.Continue Reading

Ready to Let Go and Move On? Ask Yourself This First

24 Comments

A woman is looking up at question marks above her head.
You need your answers. You need to find out why.

There's something you need to know.

If you're not ready to move on from someone, if all you want is to be with him, regardless of how he's treating you right now, because you believe in him and who he is underneath the outside veneer, because you love this man no matter how dysfunctional a love it is, then nothing you do to try to move on or get over him is going to work.

Nothing.

You'd only be fighting yourself in the process.

It's so important for you to understand this because telling yourself it's not working, that you can't move on, that what people are telling you to do, like going no contact or seeking therapy, won't work anyway because you tried that before, only becomes true if what you're currently doing is actually working for you.

I've been there.

Continue Reading

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