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How Could He Just Leave Without Even Saying Goodbye?

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A man walks down a snowy winter road.
Why did he give up?

Our beautiful friend, Tracy, has just gone through a devastating experience with an emotionally unavailable man.

Here's her story:

Hi Jane,

You helped me with my first break up with a emotionally unavailable man and your articles inspired me to keep my eyes open while dating.

I must admit for 4 months I was involved in a little mess here. But with your knowledge and clear look for signs I can now recover faster and be stronger.

Our story started with the dead end. But it could have change with the happy ending.

I met a wonderful man while he was travelling. We jumped into romance and adventure and soon after realized that this is something more than just a summer fling.

Even from the start I could see a red flag rising. He was from States, I was living in Australia. In beginning he thought he will stay here but after exploring his future options he couldn't see his career and life here in Australia.

All the immigration laws was against us.Continue Reading

What the Emotionally Unavailable Man Needs From YOU

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Man lies on the couch while his girlfriend is upset with him because he's emotionally unavailable.
When you've tried everything else, there's one more thing.

How could he do this to me?

How could he do this to us?

These are the words that escape your lips. So much hurt. So much pain. So many unanswered questions.

You want to know why.

You’ve tried to ask him. You’ve tried to put your quest for answers into words that he could respond to. But he keeps saying the same thing that doesn’t make any sense to you – or he doesn’t say anything at all.Continue Reading

I'm Heartbroken - How Do I Move On?

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A beautiful woman lies on her bed looking at her laptop.
I found out he's in a new relationship only a month after we split!

It's always so difficult to move on after a serious heartbreak, even when we know it's the best thing for us to do. Our letter this week comes from our beautiful friend Paulina, whose boyfriend suddenly left her and her son after she asked him about making a commitment.

Here's her story:

Hi Jane ,

I broke up with my boyfriend of over three and a half years about 7 months ago and I just can't seem to move on.

He basically was literally part time living with me and my 12 year old son who he bonded with over the years and we were both incredibly hurt when he left.

We broke up because I kept asking when we were going to move the relationship on and he kept avoiding my questions even though he was living with me and my son for 5 days a week. We had a heart to heart the day after Valentines day and I told him to leave and think about what he wants.Continue Reading

Why He Wouldn't Commit…to You

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A beautiful woman leans her head on her hands, sad.
Why does it always seem to end this way?

"I don't have the same feelings for you as I used to".

The dreaded words. The blank look. The shock that what we're hearing could be real. Nothing more to be said, nothing changed by talking and talking and talking about it, until our own words betray the truth.

He's gone.

The aftermath is telling.

Why? That's all we want to know. We blame ourselves, we blame him, we blame the timing, the people, the circumstances we never can control.Continue Reading

Did I Make the Right Decision?

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A woman is upset about her breakup with an emotionally unavailable man, and her two friends are consoling her.
Maybe I just needed to give it all more time

One of our beautiful readers, who has called herself "Stormy", has ended her 5 month relationship with an emotionally unavailable man, but now she's second-guessing herself.

Here's her story:

Dear Jane,

I'm thankful to God this morning for the person on my Facebook who shared your webpage.

You truly are a Godsend to me in this time of pain and heart-break I'm now going through. I've already been helped and blessed by some of the other questions and answers you've posted and I'm hoping you can offer a little advice for my situation as well.

Just yesterday, I decided to end an exclusive relationship of almost 5 months with a man I've fallen in love with. It was one of the hardest decisions I've ever made.Continue Reading

Has he changed? Can a person change?

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A beautiful woman is leaning her head against a wall, frustrated that her emotionally unavailable ex boyfriend is now in a committed relationship with another woman.
Why did he tell me he didn't want a serious relationship, and now he's in a serious relationship with her?

One of our beautiful readers, who calls herself "Bdoll", has been with an emotionally unavailable guy on and off for the better part of the last five years. He had consistently told her that he didn't want a serious relationship, only to suddenly break up with her and start a serious relationship with another woman.

Here's her email:

I dated someone for 4.5 years on and off.  They say when someone says they don't want to get married, or have a long term relationship, it means "with you!". Or does it mean 'in general'.

He told me from Day 1, that he did not want a relationship, but had one in every sense of the word anyway. The chemistry between us was like nothing I had ever experienced before, it was the pinnacle of any adult relationship I had had previous.

The timing was not right for him, and I believe this to be critical for a man.

This was a 52 year old man, never married. Very charismatic, educated, smart, and had been in plenty of relationships, live-in and long term. Had his choice of woman, always. But wasn't settled in his career, and very unhappy about it.Continue Reading

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