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You are here: Home / Archives for emotionally unavailable men

Why Do I Still Feel Like I Love Him?

17 Comments

A beautiful woman sits on a park bench wondering why she loves him.
I feel like I'm just punishing myself when I contact him.

Beautiful Kim writes to tell us about an emotionally unavailable man that she's fallen for.

Here's her email:

Dear Jane,

I have read your articles and wondered whether you might be able to help me.

I am a 54 year old woman. I married young and stayed married for 22 years. My husband was very controlling and so we did not have friends.

Eventually one of my sons told me to get away from him and I found the courage to leave.

I have a good job (clinical nurse manager.) I have nice girlfriends who care and support me and I live alone in a little cottage with my little dog.

For 7 years I had not felt I wanted to be with any man. Then 4 years ago I met  someone, a doctor from Poland who works 2 weeks on and has 1 or 2 weeks off when he goes home to Poland. He is 39 years old.Continue Reading

Should I Hang On or Let Go?

11 Comments

Close up of hands of romantic couple holding together loosely with sun rays on a white sky.
I don't know whether to keep hanging on or just let him go.

One of our gorgeous readers, Holly, is currently going through what so many of us have gone through before. Things were going so well but now her boyfriend has changed and he's getting distant. She's wondering if she should hang on, or just let go.

Here's what she wrote:

Hi Jane,

I've been with my boyfriend for a year now.

I moved in with him soon after we met, we were having a great time and I was so happy. We were always together and out doing fun things all the time, out for meals, visiting family together, taking trips on holiday, planning ahead.

He told me how much I meant to him, how great I was, and we were so in love.

However, I feel things have turned for the worst recently - as the relationship towards the end of the year we began to argue a lot in the house and he began to get upset living with me.Continue Reading

I Have Almost No Self-Esteem Left

32 Comments

A beautiful woman with her face in her hands because her self esteem is so low.
My self esteem is completely gone because of his hurtful words.

What do you do when the relationship that you're in has simply worn you down to the point that you have almost no self-esteem left, but you just can't bring yourself to let go and move on? Our story this week comes from gorgeous Angelina, who can't imagine life without him, but is feeling completely broken down at this point.

Here's her story:

Hi Jane.

Please allow  me to preface this to say that my husband is my first real love and I have identified myself with my marriage so long that not only is this excruciating but I also have almost no self esteem left because I forgot who I was.

From day one I always had misgivings about the person who is now my husband and we even argued a little on our first date but I let his other qualities shine through and chose to ignore his anger and tendency towards cruelty until the more problems we faced in life, (his overbearing, overly intrusive Eastern European minded mother and housing issues along with his demanding job) took a toll on me.

I felt we didn't handle any of these issues as a team, just him wearing me down with his anger and near total hatred of me until I caved in but this never felt right so I'd stand up for myself by getting angry at him.

He is so stubborn and his mother has messed his mind up so much, (she is very very good at guilting him and passing on her hysterics to him, she wants to be the first person in his relationship calling all the shots of the marriage), that I found myself reacting in anger and frustration to try to get him to do anything good for himself.Continue Reading

It Still Feels Like Such A Rejection

19 Comments

Beautiful blond woman feeling rejected after guy disappeared.
Why do I feel so bad, again?

Our beautiful friend from Scandinavia, Ariel, has been dealing with emotionally unavailable men, and just had another one disappear on her!

Here's her letter:

Hi Jane and greetings from Scandinavia!

(Sorry for my grammar and spelling since English is not my native language, but I hope you understand 🙂 )

I'm so frustrated with myself, I'm so confused and frankly afraid. Afraid with the situations I put myself into, and will put in future. That I'm in this circle that just won't stop.

Like you can guess I have had my share of emotionally unavailable men. I'm 36. The worst one ended 2 months ago (on/off, hot/cold thing lasted for one year) and really messed my head, I have been reading your blog for about one year, it has been so helpful, probably has kept me sane 😉

But to the issue I want to talk about.

I know I'm still in the early healing process from the last EUM, but I met this man, he's 42, who lives in the same town, so I kind of have known him for many years, but we haven't been friends or anything like that, I just know who he is by name, where he works etc, that's all.

He divorced 9 months ago, wife cheated... yes I know, red flag since not so much time has passed from the divorce. But I have some insights about he's situation since we have mutual friends.Continue Reading

How Could He Just Leave Without Even Saying Goodbye?

14 Comments

A man walks down a snowy winter road.
Why did he give up?

Our beautiful friend, Tracy, has just gone through a devastating experience with an emotionally unavailable man.

Here's her story:

Hi Jane,

You helped me with my first break up with a emotionally unavailable man and your articles inspired me to keep my eyes open while dating.

I must admit for 4 months I was involved in a little mess here. But with your knowledge and clear look for signs I can now recover faster and be stronger.

Our story started with the dead end. But it could have change with the happy ending.

I met a wonderful man while he was travelling. We jumped into romance and adventure and soon after realized that this is something more than just a summer fling.

Even from the start I could see a red flag rising. He was from States, I was living in Australia. In beginning he thought he will stay here but after exploring his future options he couldn't see his career and life here in Australia.

All the immigration laws was against us.Continue Reading

What the Emotionally Unavailable Man Needs From YOU

58 Comments

Man lies on the couch while his girlfriend is upset with him because he's emotionally unavailable.
When you've tried everything else, there's one more thing.

How could he do this to me?

How could he do this to us?

These are the words that escape your lips. So much hurt. So much pain. So many unanswered questions.

You want to know why.

You’ve tried to ask him. You’ve tried to put your quest for answers into words that he could respond to. But he keeps saying the same thing that doesn’t make any sense to you – or he doesn’t say anything at all.Continue Reading

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About Jane Garapick

Hi, I'm Jane Garapick. I'm here to provide inspiration, support and empowerment on the journey to true love. I know what it’s like to have a broken heart, a broken dream, and a broken you. And I know for a fact, that your dreams can still come true! Read more...
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