Relationships

The Relationships category contains posts regarding the stage after dating, in which you are generally in an exclusive monogamous relationship. The Relationships category includes posts on such topics as meeting the family, commitment, is he the right one for you?, etc.

Ugh! He Has, Once Again, Completely Disappeared!

18 Comments

A woman has her head in her hands because her boyfriend has disappeared again. — I need to learn how to end this cycle!

One of our dear friends, Kim, has been in a relationship with a guy that keeps on disappearing on her.

Here's her email:

Hi Jane:

I read your article 'Why you're attracting Emotionally Unavailable Men' and it motivated me to take action with your Weekly Love Steps program.

I am well versed in working with steps as I’m in recovery through AA, and have been sober now for 19 months after spending 10 months in limbo relapsing, and trying my best to be a social drinker but thankfully am an alcoholic and believe that today.

It has been an incredible, life changing journey filled with misery and confusion at first and now an entirely new perspective on the world.Continue Reading

One Simple Question You Have to Ask Yourself if You Want to Move On

43 Comments

A beautiful blond woman is very upset with her boyfriend, and is shaking her finger. — Is it worth it?

The rain was falling as I walked home from the bookstore the other day, a light gentle April rain that brought me back to another place and time. A time when yet another man who seemed to have so much potential hadn't been quite able to live up to that potential that only I had been able to see.

It was a time when running – and especially running in the rain, so out of character from who I used to be - became my therapy.

With each step, the pain lessened just a little bit more. I was doing something that I had never known I could do before. And with the support and encouragement of a new found friend, the hurt and the pain and the regrets of "if only", began to slowly lessen.

But there was something more.

I wanted him to be wrong. I wanted him to pay. I wanted him to suffer the way I felt he had made me suffer. I wanted her to suffer too; the woman he insisted was never more than a friend, the same woman who had called herself my friend, who thought nothing of finding every opportunity she could to flirt with him.

I wanted them both to pay.Continue Reading

Why it ends. And why it has to.

104 Comments

For every ending there's a new beginning concept showing a stormy ending followed by a sunny blue sky beginning. — It ends because you need it to end.

I see you.

Over there, sitting all alone with your head in your hands.

Oh you think no one notices you, but I do.

How could I not? Not where I've been.

Because when you've been there, you're the first one to feel it when you see all the signs. Broken heart, broken dreams, broken everything, or so it feels. How can it not feel like this when you feel everything as deeply as you do?

Why?

Why did it end? What did I do that was so wrong? What did I do to deserve this?

You want to know. You weren't ready. Not like this, not the way it ended and not the way you feel now.

If you can just find some reason for it – if you can just make some sense of it - you know you'll be all right.Continue Reading

Trying to Move On From a Man Who Won't Commit

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One of our gorgeous readers, Angel, is trying to move on from a relationship with a man who won't commit.

Here's her email:

Hi Jane,

I've been reading a lot of your blog posts for few days now, some of them I read few times too. Here's my situation that got me all confused:

I am a single mother of 2 teenagers and I am having a Long Distance Relationship with this guy from another country for 11 years now. He's working in my country on a flying in and out basis. I only saw him when he was on his way in or out from where he works (in another island).

I know this was not ideal, but we were so clicked and compatible for each other. We could talk about anything, shared so many similar interests and hobbies, basically it's a perfect relationship except that he doesn't want to have a commitment.

He said that to me 3 years since we started the relationship, and caught me by surprised.Continue Reading

It Was Going So Well, Then He Suddenly Became Emotionally Unavailable

33 Comments

A beautiful woman looks at her phone wondering why her boyfriend suddenly became emotionally unavailable and stopped calling or texting. — He suddenly stopped calling or texting.

One of our beautiful readers, Mimi, was in a relationship for over a year with a man who is suddenly getting emotionally distant and emotionally (as well as physically) unavailable.

Here's her story:

Thanks for the opportunity to reach out. I'll be as brief as possible, sacrificing good grammar and punctuation along the way!

I reconnected with a friend of a friend, whom I first met over 20 years ago, a little under two years ago. We first Facebook messaged, getting to know one another.

I am never married, he is divorced with two kids, and we discussed our schooling, work, private lives etc. over messages for about a month. Went from Facebook to using personal emails, he gave me his phone number but I didn't call, just emailed.

Gave him mine finally and he called and we continued with phone conversations and texts. All told we got to know one another quite well through these methods for about 5 months before a face to face meeting. Which was great as it left the physical aspect out of the attraction and it was in very different levels. He lives about 3.5 hrs from me, drove down that first night for dinner, then returned home.

Seeing one another after months of contact was nothing short of wonderful.

That was August 2013, but since he has was in the process of building his own business that is seasonal, he works 7 days a week, so our contact continued to be from afar. He came again in October and soon thereafter said he wanted me to visit him and meet his kids. I did, in November 2013, and from there we saw one another regularly every few weeks.

Though his business was 'out Of season' he still worked at it night and day (he had come from a corporate setting and is very determined and driven and a workaholic to some extent). All seems great, though he is continually overwhelmed and stressed with his business and focuses on it endlessly.

Summer of 2014 fun, early Fall good as we make plans to do things and go places and he excitedly looks forward to the end of his season.Continue Reading

Is He a Man-Child?

22 Comments

A beautiful woman sits on a deck feeling frustrated at her boyfriend for acting like a man child. — He disappears at the first sign of any little conflict!

Our beautiful friend, who has called herself "Regretful", is in an on again, off again relationship with a guy that disappears as soon as there is any little conflict.

Here's her story:

Jane,

I have been in a relationship which has been an off again, on again basis. Never any major fights , but any little conflict or misunderstanding and he disappears.

No talking about it. No resolution, no contact from him ever.

It ends up with me doing the crazy messages asking him to at least talk to me and to let me at least explain what happened or what was said or misunderstood. Initially when he would disappear, he would come around but for past year if it happens for what ever reason, it's always me trying to get him to come back and give us another chance.

We always have a wonderful time when we're together and I love him to bits. I grew untrusting of him when we did split up for a 3 months period last year and he was with someone else. I felt maybe he had been in contact with this girl and setting it up before he split from me.

I ran back into his arms when it didn't work out.

This time there was a misunderstanding and he felt offended and hung up on me. It wasn't true what he thought I had said but after my text messages explaining what I actually said he did text back that he was sorry. Since then he will not acknowledge me no matter how hard I try and talk to him.

I'm left angry that we can't have any 'life incident' without this happening.

After a week I said I no longer want to be in a relationship with a Man who can't be around through thick and thin. I don't want to be abandoned every time something happens that he can't deal with. I had told him before that if he just needs space, to let me know and I will give him time but I need to know what is going on.

This time I went to crazy mode and ended it.Continue Reading

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Ugh! He Has, Once Again, Completely Disappeared!

Here's her email:

One Simple Question You Have to Ask Yourself if You Want to Move On

Why it ends. And why it has to.

Trying to Move On From a Man Who Won't Commit

Here's her email:

It Was Going So Well, Then He Suddenly Became Emotionally Unavailable

Here's her story:

Is He a Man-Child?

Here's her story:

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