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Relationships

The Relationships category contains posts regarding the stage after dating, in which you are generally in an exclusive monogamous relationship. The Relationships category includes posts on such topics as meeting the family, commitment, is he the right one for you?, etc.

How Do I Get Him Back?

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Lonely woman missing her boyfriend while swinging in the park in the morning
I just want it back the way it was.

There's nothing more heart wrenching, more gut wrenching, than hearing from you when you’ve lost him, when he’s gone. There's nothing that speaks more to my heart and to the heart of every other woman who’s been there before. It all comes back.

The longing.

The trying.

The hoping.

The planning.

The desperate attempts to get him back.

But what if we could attempt it without being desperate? What if we could draw strength from who we are, from everything we know we could be if only our anxiousness and desperation didn’t get in the way?

What if we could pick ourselves up, dust ourselves up, take that deep breath and resolve to do it differently this time around?Continue Reading

It Hurts and I Need Help to Let Go

15 Comments

Woman crying over her broken heart, because it hurts so bad.
I'm feeling so hurt, but I still love him.

Our letter this week comes from beautiful Mansi, who just had a whirlwind relationship with a man who suddenly decided he wasn't ready for a commitment.

Here's her story:

Hi Jane.

Finally I'm writing you as it's getting heavier and I need advice.

It's been 7 months of break up with him and I'm unable to get over it. It's not my first break up of relationship though but you know it always hurts.

I'm in my 30's and he is 24 yes, different country and culture. Things started at work place where he recently took over as manager, where as I was being transferred to his branch as a supporting manager.

I liked him the day I saw him, but I told I myself "don't ever think it's not gonna happen, he is too young for you and you are not his type."Continue Reading

Living Together Without Commitment

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Couple in bed, woman with insomnia, wondering how long to wait for commitment.
How long should I live with him without more of a commitment?

The question this week comes from our beautiful friend, Michelle. She's been living with her long term boyfriend for quite a while now, but she's wondering how much time to give him to make more of a commitment.

Here's her story:

I've been dating a guy exclusively for 15 months. We both own a home but he has been living with me for 7 months. Since he has his own bills and mortgage he doesn't help me with anything, including groceries.

Is this normal?

We've both been married before, myself twice and him three times. We're trying not to make the same mistakes.

We are both very different from our previous spouses. Which has been great!

We love each other very much. There is no fear of anyone else or cheating.

I'm just wondering how long is reasonable to let him live with me with no commitment and no financial assistance.Continue Reading

Are You Asking for Too Much?

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Unhappy couple after fight not talking to each other
It’s not that you’re asking for too much, it’s who you’re asking it of.

It's a question I hear from so many of you: Am I asking for too much?

I need you to think about this one, because if we're ever going to stop taking this out on ourselves, we have to separate the two.

It’s not that you’re asking for too much. Oh you’re not!

For someone who’s on the same page as you, who’s ready for a real committed relationship and knows that’s exactly what he wants and nothing less, what you’re asking for is entirely reasonable and doesn’t need to be defended or explained to anyone!

But if we’re talking about someone who for all he may say he’s ready for a relationship but doesn’t show you with his real life actions that he actually is, then you're going to feel like you’re asking for too much for a very good reason.

And this reason is because there’s a disconnect between the two of you.Continue Reading

What Do I Do About His Commitment Issues?

13 Comments

A beautiful woman is upset with her boyfriend over his commitment issues.
I want to settle down but he has commitment issues.

One of our beautiful readers, Charlotte, is at a loss to know what to do about her boyfriend's commitment issues. I know so many of you have similarly faced this in your own relationships, or are going through this now. I've given my response below, but I know she'd love to have your take on her situation as well.

Her Letter:

Hi Jane,

Due to your experience in the matter I thought that maybe you can help.

I have been together with my boyfriend for five years. We have had our share of troubles, but are still together. On an everyday basis he is nice to me - giving me massages, taking care for me etc.

However, whenever we talk about the future, he becomes indefinite. He keeps putting off having a family or marrying.Continue Reading

I'm Afraid He'll Keep Making Excuses and Never Commit

12 Comments

Couple not talking after a fight on the sofa in living room at home
I'm afraid he'll keep making excuses and won't ever commit!

One of our gorgeous new readers, Beverley, tells us her story about her long term boyfriend first wanting to move in together, but then changing his mind and pulling away. She's wondering if he'll ever commit.

Her Question:

Hi Jane,

I have stumbled across your page by chance but is extremely relevant to where I'm at in my relationship at the moment.

I just read "3 Biggest Warning Signs He'll NEVER Commit" and I'm worried. I have been with my boyfriend for coming up on 3 years now.  I am 27 and he is 25. I am a little confused as to where to start with my concerns as there are a number of mitigating factors in what has gotten us to where we are (that being nowhere).Continue Reading

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