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Dating

The posts in the dating category relate to the early stages of a relationship, before the two of you are exclusive. The dating category includes topics such as where to find men, how do I find Mr. Right?, first dates, should you call him, etc.

The Real Story Behind Why You're STILL Chasing Him

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A beautiful woman is on the phone flirting with a guy she is chasing.
Why are you the only one?

Why do we do the chasing at all? Why are we still chasing him? Why can't we seem to stop, no matter how much we know we should?

Because we're scared.

If we don't chase him, we're scared he won't chase us. And then at least this way, we can feel in control, like we're actually doing something.

But there's a problem with this kind of thinking. Because when we do this, we don't allow him to do what he's biologically programmed to do (what he actually wants to do) – chase you!

We miss this part because of our own fear. We don't give him a chance to chase us because we're not sure he will.Continue Reading

The Disappearing Boyfriend

42 Comments

A beautiful woman looks out over the beach, wondering why her boyfriend suddenly disappeared.
Things were going great, then he suddenly disappeared!

Our beautiful friend, Kaya, was in what she thought was a great relationship, only to have him completely disappear on her, claiming that she did something he's mad about (but won't tell her what it was).

Here's her story:

Hi Jane,

I must admit I love reading your posts. They are very informative, inspirational and helpful.

I was wondering if you could help me figure out a problem I am currently experiencing.

I met a guy few months ago and we started dating. Everything was great as we both wanted a mature, committed relationship and we both have similar life goals about the future. He officially called me his girlfriend and was planning to take me to his sister's wedding in July.

He made it clear how much he likes me and how much he enjoys his time with me. Every aspect of our relationship was amazing.

Last weekend after he went to work he never called me or texted me (he usually does) so I was a bit worried. After several days of failed attempts to contact him he finally texted me that he is mad at me but doesn't tell me why.Continue Reading

It Feels Like a Relationship, But He Says He Just Wants to be Friends

37 Comments

A beautiful woman leans in close to a man who is sending her mixed signals.
Why is he sending me these mixed signals?

One of our beautiful readers from all the way over in Northern Europe is heart broken over a guy she fell hard for, who was acting like he's in a relationship with her, but then said he only wants to be friends.

Here's her story:

Hey Jane!

I am a young woman from Sweden that needs your advice. I have been asking loads of people for advice but it doesn't seem to match with what I am trying to tell them, in other words, the advice is not helping me anywhere.

Like most of your emails, this is about me and another person. This person is one odd guy that I've known for quite some time now (almost A year).

I met him right after when I broke up with my boyfriend that I was supposed to get engaged to, but we went through some issues and went separate ways. Right after that, probably one week afterwards, I met this wonderful, innocent and caring guy over social media.Continue Reading

But I Don't Want to HAVE to!

36 Comments

A beautiful woman sits across from a man during a date that she doesn't want to be on.
Ugh! Why do I have to do this?

I hear these words from so many of you.

"But I don't want to have to!"

Whether you're talking about meeting new men, going to singles events, signing up for online dating, going to new places, finding your passions, following your interests, your response is so often the same.

We want it the easy way.

The way that said he was The One and your search was over.

The way that said that you didn't have to put yourself out there – again.

The way that had you imaging your future together and it felt so good!

The way that finally gave you the answer to address all those questions of "why are you still single?"

Why couldn't it be the easy way?Continue Reading

After 2 Months He Suddenly Changed

14 Comments

A beautiful woman sits on the couch with her boyfriend unhappily because she feels he has changed.
He's basically nothing like the boyfriend I was first with!

One of our beautiful readers, Beatrice, finds herself in the all-too-common scenario of starting off in a relationship that's nothing but wonderful, only to have him slowly change, and not for the better. She's wondering if it's something she did.

Here's her email:

Dear Jane,

I am an exceptionally sensitive, confused soul right now. And my heart is breaking without any "real" proof that it needs to break, if that makes sense.

Here's my story:

I'm 23, and a very inexperienced dater.Continue Reading

Was I Just A Hot Mess With A Great Guy?

45 Comments

A beautiful woman is holding her hair back with her hands, wondering if she was a hot mess.
Did I scare him off?

One of our beautiful readers, Felicia, is wondering if she drove away a great guy by being (her words) a "hot mess".

Here's her story:

Hi Jane.

I recently discovered your site to look for answers to many of my questions.

I have seen many articles or posts everywhere that he was not just the one or bad boy, etc.

But...what if, in fact, we were the one messing with a great guy? Or "Like attracts like"?

I recently ended up with a person who was quite close to whom I am looking for while my mother was fighting for her life. I met him via online dating site after several months after relocating to new country. Prior to that, I was just enjoying casual datings with some men. However he was different.Continue Reading

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