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I Know I Should Run and Never Look Back, But I Still Love Him

50 Comments

A beautiful woman sits on a park bench with her head in her hands, knowing that she should run from her relationship and not look back, but she still loves him.Our beautiful friend, Crystal, knows that she should run from her relationship and never look back, but she still loves him and wants him to fight for their relationship to prove her wrong. She needs our help!

Here's her story:

Good morning Jane,

I need your help! I'm devastated!

I've been with my boyfriend for 6 months and at first things were fine when I first met him. We came across the, "have you ever been married" and the "do you have any kids" question - I told him no to both and he told me he had a daughter but that he never had been married.

About two months in he went missing for like 3 days and I began to get worried so my best friend said well look him up and see what you can find out because this doesn't seem right. So I did and low and behold I found out he was married!

I was crushed I was heartbroken!

I later got in touch with him that night and I questioned him about it and he continued to lie until I told him if he told me the truth we could work it out. He finally confessed that he had been married and that he was going through a tough divorce but he's getting one.

He began to say that he loved me and he wanted to be with me.

He promised that, that weekend we would go out of town on a much needed get away to work on our relationship and I agreed to it because I liked him a lot. We were supposed to leave that Saturday and then that Friday he called me and said that a family member had passed, so we couldn't go.

When we first met he told me that he was a regional manager so he would have to go on site sometimes where work was being done and he would be gone at the most 2 weeks and then he would come back home.

Well Jane, he was always gone and it became a long distance relationship that I didn't sign up for. He started being gone a lot and just recently I hadn't seen him in a little over a month.

His jobs were going slow and he switched companies a lot because he couldn't get along with the people he worked for so money got low and then I started sending him money because I wanted to show him I was there for him.

Well this past Saturday was his birthday but he said he would have to "work" so he came back Friday 10/10. Just so happen funds were really low for me after bills but I was going to buy him an outfit and some shoes for his b-day.

Well he called me back Friday and said, "You're not going to believe what happened...man I'm mad."

I asked what happened and he says, "Some transaction hit my account and wiped my account out so now I have no money." He then said, "You didn't buy me anything for my birthday yet did you?" I told him that I hadn't picked it up yet but that I would after I got off. He told me, "Good well don't, you don't get a man gifts he should spoil you with gifts...give you money,"  so I got dressed for us going out that night and I just didn't feel right Jane!

Usually I would go without and give my last for him because I did it in the past but something wasn't right. He took me on this drive to the north side because his friend told him about this movie dinner place.

Here's a side note: every time we go somewhere someone recommends we should go and which are normally expensive places he always complains about the food and he ends up eating and getting his meal for free so Friday it was no different except for it was much worse - he caused a scene and I was so embarrassed we couldn't watch the whole movie because the uproar he caused. He's lucky he didn't go to jail - his profanity was out of this world - he cursed and cursed and cursed and when we got back in my car he said, "So you not gonna say anything and they just talked to your man like that?" 

I told him I was very embarrassed and in mid sentence he said, "Shut the f--- up and let me talk."

Jane I was so hurt and outdone that he had talked to me like this and on the way back to drop him off at some random building I picked him up at he told me he was sorry and that he loved me.

I still had this feeling that something wasn't right with him.

I drop him off at the building where his "homeboy" is supposed to pick him up at and I made a circle just to see. Well as soon as I turned the corner he power walks back into the building at 11 PM and when he enters he looks behind him to see if I saw him.
I just drove off he called me and I talked to him on my way home.

The next day for his birthday I never heard from him and it's not like I could call him because his friends phone number shows up no caller ID and he never gave me the number - how convenient.

Sunday morning I wake up crying because I know he didn't call me because maybe he was with someone else like his wife or some other girlfriend. He calls me Sunday around 5:40 pm and he kept calling until 9 because I wouldn't answer him.

My Mom and sister said that I should leave him alone because he is a gamer and that he doesn't care for me, so Sunday when he called at 9 I picked up and then he told me another family member passed and I definitely didn't believe him this time because almost every time he knows I'm mad someone dies.

Well because I didn't give him the response he wanted he said that he thought we should put our relationship on pause because he has a lot going on mentally and family wise. He said that he needs to be a better man for me so he wanted to get off the phone with me to "pray" and he'd call me back...he hasn't called me back..

I'm so hurt Jane because I know something isn't right but he made me feel Sunday before he said we should take a pause that somehow this was my fault...after he lied to me and I found out it was never the same because when he would be out of town I just felt like a man isn't going to stay away from a woman he loves this long.

I know I should run and never look back but I feel so weird and crazy for still loving him and wanting him to fight for our relationship and to prove me wrong.

What really hurts Jane is that he is supposed to "move" back to Houston on 10/17 and my birthday is 10/22 - how convenient does he put a pause in our relationship when it's time for us to be together for good and when my birthday is coming up?

I admit I complained about him not spending time with me but am I wrong for that? Should I have kept my mouth closed?

Please help me because I feel like a crazy woman on Lifetime movie network who I would normally yell at and say she was stupid.

Help me Jane! Help me!

Thank you,

Chrystal

My Response:

You answered this one yourself, Chrystal.

There's a reason you feel like a crazy woman on Lifetime movie network who you would normally yell at! It's because when it happens to us, when we see all the warning signs and refuse to see them for exactly that, when we have such a strong sense as you did so many times here that something "isn't right", it's so hard for us to see just how crazy it really is.

You're not stupid - you're just blinded by what you think is love.

And you're in good company - some of the most intelligent women in the world have been involved with men who were never right for them!

It's about the way you see yourself. And it's what you don't see about how you deserve to be treated. It's how you can't see that the fact that this man is essentially still married and that means he's just not available for you - at least not in the way you want him to be.

I know you have the most beautiful of intentions.

I know you have such a capacity to overlook, to excuse, to understand, to look past all the glaring red flags and warning signs that tell you everything you could possibly need to know about whether this man is someone you really want to be with.

I know you see so much more of his potential than the reality of what you have in front of you right now.

Here's the reality: he's still married, regardless of where he is in his divorce. And even if he wasn't, does he really have what you're looking for to offer you? When you look at what you're really looking for, what you know you deserve, does he have that? When you say you didn't sign up for the long distance relationship it turned into, what does that tell you about how little say you have in this?

How convenient is exactly the point, Chrystal. This isn't about your birthday, his "moving back" or anything else about you. This is about him and what's working for him.

Trust yourself - you know! When you say "something doesn't feel right", you know it doesn't feel right, because something isn't right.

You second guess yourself and question whether you had the right to complain about him not spending time with you, and then you wonder if you should have just kept your mouth shut, because you know something isn't right with not saying something, but you don't trust yourself to know because of how conflicted you feel.

Of course you're hurt, of course some of this "really hurts", because you can't be with this person without being hurt. It hurts that he turns the tables on you and is blaming you for what happened because you know in your heart of hearts it's not your fault.

It has to be put on you to get it off him. He knows what he's doing, he knows what he's getting for putting out so little in return. And he knows he can because you're letting him. He has no reason to do anything differently because this is working so well – you are working so well – for him.

What more does he need? Obviously, nothing.

That's the point of this, Chrystal. No one needs to tell you what to do here, because you already know. You just need to listen to your own instincts, to your own true voice that keeps trying to show you that something isn't right so that you'll listen to yourself and see what this is really about.

It's not about him, it's about you seeing this for yourself so clearly this time so that you don't have to go through this again. That's why people show up in our lives, to mirror what's really going on within ourselves.

Would that strong, confident version of yourself who's just biding her time waiting to be seen, allow herself to brush aside all these red flags, all these feelings of something not being right, just for the chance to be with someone like this? Would she accept such crumbs, tell herself the stories you're telling yourself to keep on keeping on with someone who treats you like this? Would she give her "last" to someone who would never give her his?

I know you know the answer, but before you answer, I want you to know it's OK. There's no shame in falling in love with all of your heart for the wrong man - like I said, this happens to the very best of us.

This is about real life - your life. The kind of life that comes with feelings, and beliefs, and self-esteem, and cultural programming. The kind of life that falls in love and falls hard.

But behind that person who can't see, who doesn't see, is a better life. It's a life that deserves to be held compassionately and lovingly and treated gently for only being able to see up to the light that she knows.

It is OK, because it's you - a real, live human being. A beautiful soul with feelings, and dreams, and hopes, and plans.

You're human, Chrystal. And as much as it may feel like it, you're not alone. No matter who we are on the outside, we're not so different in what we'll do for love, if we're willing to admit it to ourselves. What others see so clearly, we can rarely see ourselves when we're so enmeshed and caught up in our own unmet needs that we can't see beyond this chance to finally get what we so desperately long for – to be loved.

That's why we call it love even though it hurts. If it's what we're used to. If it's all that we think we deserve. It doesn't matter how intelligent our minds may be, if we hold such a gaping need within us, how can we possibly see?

Tread gently with yourself here. Love yourself enough to allow yourself to see. Yes, it's clear to me and to others who share an outside perspective, but it has to be clear to you, too.

You run, Chrystal, into your own arms, into your own life. No matter who you are or what you've been through, it doesn't have to be such a long road back to learning to love yourself and create a life that's worth living, with only the people in it that are right for you.

But it has to be the choice that you make, not one that anyone else can make for you.

It always seems so obvious to everyone but the one asking the questions. Do you have any advice or thoughts for our beautiful friend, Chrystal? Please share them with her in the comments!

The Difference Between Giving Up Too Soon and Giving Up Too Much

18 Comments

Street signs showing quit in one direction and keep trying in the other direction.One of our beautiful readers recently made an observation about how I tend to talk more about letting go and getting out of a relationship that isn't working than I do about working harder to make it work. She made a very good point, and it really got me thinking.

It's very true. I do.

But there’s a reason.

It’s because staying in a bad relationship and trying to make it work is an area where most of us don't need any encouragement. We are some of the hardest working, most well-intentioned fighters to keep any relationship going. We'll just keep on trying to row that boat up a waterfall even though we're the only ones doing any of the paddling.

We're oh so understanding, hopeful and so, so optimistic. We always believe we can make him love us.

And that’s exactly why we’re hurting and having our hearts broken all too much of the time.

You’re the first to say, “We can work it out”. You’re the first to stay and try to prove just how much your relationship is worth fighting for.

Your willingness to do this is not the problem.

It’s who you’re choosing to stay and work it out with that’s causing the concern.

It’s who you're refusing to give up on that’s the problem.

I agree that relationships take some effort, and if you're with a guy that's making an effort, even if he might be falling short in some areas, then it's worth the effort on your part as well. I certainly wouldn't recommend dropping him just because he leaves his dirty dishes in the sink or his smelly socks on the floor, or that he'd rather be watching the ball game when you want to go antiquing. These kinds of things can be worked out.

But these aren't the kinds of stories that I'm hearing.

I'm hearing about the guy who's treating you like an option, a convenience. Somebody to see when there's nothing better going on. The guy who disappears for days or weeks only to re-appear and act like nothing happened. The kind of guy that's telling you he's not ready for a commitment. I'm hearing about the crumbs.

The kind of guy where you know, deep in your heart, that you deserve better.

You see, our compass is typically off on this one. We don’t know how to tell the difference between who’s worth it and who isn't.

In fact, most of us have got it backwards.

You give up too soon on the nice guy; the one who you should be staying around longer to give him more of a chance. But you refuse to give up on the player who’s only wasting more of your time while you're trying to prove to him that you’re the one who’s worth it, when that’s what he should be doing with you!

I know because I did it too.

It’s time to figure out the difference. It’s time to awaken to the point of all this. To give the nice guy a chance and let the other ones go.

Learn how to spot the real keepers.

Because if you can learn to tell the difference, you’re well on your way to finding a healthy, happy relationship.

One that really is worth fighting for.

Do I Need to Move On?

6 Comments

A beautiful woman is pointing at her slacker boyfriend wondering if she needs to move on. He is wearing a white tank top standing against an orange wall.Our beautiful friend Olivia is wondering if she needs more patience, or if she just needs to move on. Read on for her story:

Dear Jane,

I'm 24 and have been dating my boyfriend, who is 25, for 2 years now.

When I first met him, he had never really dated or been in a long term relationship. His reasoning was that he just never had the interest or the time to invest. Our first year of dating we rushed into things, moved in together and found that it was quite different then we had assumed.

He's thoughtful, but it seems to be in all the wrong ways. He will tell me I'm beautiful a million times a day, yet refuses to acknowledge things like when I state that we should go out and do something romantic or exciting. I've always tried to lead by example; I've even just taken myself out on dates thinking that it may click.

He tells me that he doesn't understand what I want, I am being too needy. The biggest problem is lack of responsibility. A year ago, we had a very intense falling out which led to us moving out of our beautiful apartment. The falling out was a concoction of him not having a job, me getting too angry. It was more or less a severe lack of understanding and responsibility on both ends.

We both moved in with family and began to work on things. About 3 months of working on things and he started to come stay with me. It's been a year now, and we live with my parents. I am 24... I should not be living with my parents with my boyfriend of 2 years! Constantly I remind him that we are adults, we need to do something about this.

I once got as far as setting myself up with roommates and when I told him of this, he threatened to leave me because that was appropriate.

There always seems to be something, his car breaks down, he loses his job, he needs to pay debt and when the money issues go away it turns into, "Well you just get too angry about everything. I don't know if we should live together." But we do live together!

I am angry because I've patiently waited over a year, I've saved the money, I've looked around, I've found him new jobs  and I've supported him in every aspect thus far in fear that will think I am not being sensitive enough. I love him. I love him with all of my heart, he loves me but he just can't grow up. He's sensitive, but I feel like he is taking advantage of me.

Do I need to have more patience? Do I need to move on?

I don't want these past 2 years of hard work to be for nothing. Staying and leaving both feel equally terrible.

My Response:

Dear Olivia,

I hear you. You love this guy, you just want things to be different! This is really difficult, because it sounds to me like he loves you, like he wants to be with you, too, but he's got these issues that are huge for him - and you. Have you heard of the term enabler? Because my first thought as I was reading your email, is that this guy has got it so good with you. You find him jobs, you save up money, you find a place for both of you, you take him in when things aren't working out for him, he's basically got it made with you.

He doesn't really have any reason to grow up, because other than you getting angry with him sometimes for not growing up and doing some of this work himself - which is completely understandable - he has got everything he could ever want with you. You are the perfect complement to him. Whatever he lacks, you make up for it.

You are more than patient, more than understanding, more than the perfect girlfriend to him. And yes, you've invested a lot of time and energy in this relationship and in him, so of course the thought of giving it up feels awful, and yet, the thought of living another two years like this is probably not what you have in mind either.

It really comes down to you. And what you can and can't live with. What a deal breaker is to you, and whether or not you're going to be ok continuing to live like this indefinitely if nothing changes on his end.

Because he doesn't have a whole lot of reason to change or motivation to do anything different when you keep taking care of things for him.

But on the other hand, if he knows how you feel, and you've communicated this with him, then he does know you're not happy living like this and you want to see some changes. The question is this: Is he capable of making the changes you want to see in him? Is he able to grow up and become more responsible, more of the man you want him to be?

Only you know what he's worth to you, what the relationship is worth to you the way it is, not the way you want it to be. So you have to decide what living like this with him versus not living like this without him is worth to you. It doesn't have to be all or nothing. You can stop doing all the things you do for him to see if he picks up the slack and see what that looks like. You can keep showing him by your actions what you are and are not willing to put up with. And if you decide that you really can't do this while still living at your parents' house with him, then you can ask him to leave and just go back to dating him to see what that looks like and feels like to both of you.

Maybe he just wants someone to take care of him and the responsibilities of life - if that's really what he's looking for, can you live with that? Sometimes love looks different than how we pictured it. Only you know what you can and can't live with.

But whatever you decide, Oliva, know that if this relationship is meant to be, it will be. But only if both of you are on the same page and want the same thing and are willing to do what it takes to make this work.

I hope this gives you some things to think about. It's tough when you love someone and yet there's a big "but" that goes with those words. You do know deep in your heart what the answer is here, and sometimes, the answers come simply by focusing back on you and your life and letting him fade into the distance so that what he does or doesn't do doesn't matter as much. Sometimes, we just need to keep living our own life and doing the things that make us happy, and the answers come to us when we least expect it.

Love,

Jane

Do you have any other ideas, advice or encouragement for Olivia? Tell us in the comments!

The Biggest Regret

10 Comments

A large red sign against a background of blue sky reads: regrets."The biggest regret I have is letting people stay in my life longer than they deserve" (author unknown).

I read this quote the other day and it hit home with me on a whole new level.  Whether it's men who clearly weren't on the same page as me or friends who were no longer behaving like friends, if there was one single thing I would have done differently, it was this.

And yet, if you're anything like me, how do you know when it's been enough time? How do you really know when it's been too long? Because you have such a beautiful, loving, giving, understanding heart, you know all too well just how good it could be because it shows so much potential. And so you have such a hard time knowing when it's time to move on let someone out of your life. After all, what if, you wonder?

You've already invested so much.

It comes down to you, again. That theme is always there, isn't it? Because that's the beauty of this. Yes, it's you allowing this again. Allowing yourself to go there, to believe it can still be different this time with him. Allowing yourself to believe his excuses, to forgive him yet again, to see past the obvious to what only you seem to be able to see. To be so understanding. But because you're the one allowing this, you are also the one who can set your boundaries and draw that line in the sand on what you are no longer willing to allow. You are in control here.

You are no longer the victim.

When he won't commit, when he doesn't call, when he all but disappears, when he treats you that way, when you put him on that pedestal and put yourself so far beneath him that you can't see the truth anymore.

This is you choosing him. This is you not choosing you.

But it doesn't have to be this way.

If he won't commit, and you want a commitment, what about this works for you?

If he doesn't call – or text, or communicate with you in whatever way he said he would – could it be you have your answer from the silence?

If he all but disappears, why do you have to make this about you? He's the one who disappeared.

If he's treating you in a way that doesn't honor or respect or show you he loves you, why are you choosing to allow yourself to be treated like this?

No one deserves to be put on a pedestal. We are equals regardless of what gender we are, how intelligent we are, how beautiful or handsome we are, how "together" we are, what we do for a living, how much money we make, what kind of car we drive, how educated we are … I could go on and on.

When you're ready, in your own time, let him know it's your time. It's not his time anymore. You can always keep living like this, it's always your choice, my beautiful friend, but if there's one common thread that unites this entire community, it's the one that says it's your turn. Your choice. Your life. Your turn. Find that strong voice within you. See what she's capable of. See what she can do. She's there, just waiting her turn. Don't disappoint her.

Show her the life she was born to live!

He Was Never Really There

9 Comments

We forget just how miserable we were far too much of the time. We forget how many of our own needs weren't being met. We forget all the waiting. We forget all the uncertainty. We forget all the times we felt like anything would have been better than what we were living. A beautiful woman is sad thinking about her recently ended relationship.It's always hard to let go of a dream. The dream of all the potential the relationship showed, the dream of all that could have been. We tend to have such a selective memory when we finally let him go or he lets us go. Either way, it's the same.

We remember all the wonderful times, the great things, that amazing potential he showed. And we start questioning ourselves and why we couldn't just have been this or that. Why we couldn't have been more understanding of him (as if we weren't already all too understanding!)

We wonder why we couldn't be content with less.

And then we start wondering if we're worth it. We forget just how miserable we were far too much of the time. We forget how many of our own needs weren't being met. We forget all the waiting. We forget all the uncertainty. We forget all the times we felt like anything would have been better than what we were living. We start on that slippery slope that has us second-guessing ourselves and leaves us spending all too much of our time and energy fantasizing about how to get him back and how different things would be this time around – if only we can convince him to give us another chance.

Stop right there, my beautiful friend. It's time to see this through your strong adult eyes instead of through the eyes of that little girl who's been trying to get that love she wants so badly. It's time to ask yourself some questions to see what was really there.

  • Did he really care about what you wanted?
  • Did he want the same thing?
  • Did he say he wanted the same thing, but his actions showed otherwise?
  • Did you feel anxious when you were with him?
  • Did you feel like if you could just be content to go with the flow, it would have been turned out so much better?
  • Would he have been perfect if only he could commit?

We can be so understanding, so forgiving, and so willing to put someone else first without thinking about whether they even deserve that kind of response from us in the first place. Is he worth what you've been putting yourself through? Is he worth your beautiful you? We can get so caught up in whether he wants us, whether he loves us, whether he's going to commit to us, that we forget that this is so much more about us than him. It's not about what if, it's not about what could have been, it's not about if only, it's about what is.

And you, my beautiful friend, deserve nothing less than a real relationship based on reality; a reality of two people on the same page who want the same thing and are committed to making that happen regardless of any extenuating circumstances.

Because if you don't have that, what do you really have?

What To Do When You're Not Getting The Commitment You Want

16 Comments

if it's a commitment you're looking for, no matter how amazing he seems, no matter how attractive he is, no matter how much he seems like everything you've been looking for in a man, the smartest thing you can do is hold onto your you and refuse to commit to him any more than he's committing to you. A beautiful woman sitting on the edge of the couch contemplates the lack of commitment from her boyfriend casually reading a book.It's what you want. The whole thing. The real deal. A fully committed relationship with him.

And yet here you are again, with another man who seems to be battling commitment phobia, settling for whatever he'll give because you've gone there once again. It might have started out innocently enough, with him acting and talking like he's on the same page as you. Or he might have come right out and told you he's not ready for anything serious, and yet you still believe that you and your love can change anyone. Either way, if it's a commitment you're looking for, no matter how amazing he seems, no matter how attractive he is, no matter how much he seems like everything you've been looking for in a man, the smartest thing you can do is hold onto your you and refuse to commit to him any more than he's committing to you.

The more attracted you are to him, the harder this is going to be for you. But just because there's that spark, that energy, that attraction you feel on so many levels, doesn't mean that he's the one for you or that he's looking for the same thing you are (read: a commitment). It only means that you are attracted to someone that you don't know very well yet, and you certainly don't know if he's on the same page as you when it comes to something as important to you as commitment.

A harsh reality.

I know; you don't want to hear this. You don't want me to burst your bubble like this. But the reality is that all too often we get our hearts involved so deeply, our emotions embroiled in someone who says and does all the right things, that we forget to bring our more practical thinking side with us. Because the reality is, you don’t know enough about him yet to make a decision about him. He hasn't shown you his true self. You don't know how much you have in common. You don't know if you're compatible with him in the truest sense of compatibility beyond the attraction and excitement stage. And most important of all, he hasn't proven himself to be worthy of you and all that you are and all that you have to offer!

The downward spiral.

But the problem is, once you've gone there, once you're in over your head and letting your emotions take over, it's too late. He'll know he's got you. He'll know he doesn't have to do much more to keep you. He'll know that he doesn't have to give you that level of commitment you really want to you to keep you in his life. He's gotten to know you well enough to know that you're the kind that's worth keeping around for when he is ready to commit to you. But that's not good enough for you! And it's not even close to what you deserve! And by then, you won't be able to get out. You'll be in so over your head, you'll have given so much of yourself away, that you won't be able to extricate yourself from him without a whole lot of heartbreak.

But it's changeable.

By keeping one single thought in mind from the very beginning that you first meet someone, or cast a glance in his direction.

Don't commit to him any more than he's committing to you.

So, if he's not willing to give you the kind of commitment that you know you want, this means:

  • You don't give him your emotional or physical self.
  • You don't make excuses for him.
  • You don't wait for him.
  • You don't put him on a pedestal.
  • You don't give him any more time or energy than you give anyone else in your life.

The point is that you are meeting him where he is, you are accepting the reality of his lack of commitment for what it is, and you are living your life within that reality. You are pursuing your own interests, your own passions, and you are open to anyone who can give  you the kind of committed relationship that you truly want. You realize that you are the one that's in control - it's your decision whether to stay or leave. You have the power to decide the fate of the relationship - you can stay and hedge your bets by keeping yourself open to other possible relationships, or you can leave at any time. Truly knowing this deep down in your heart, and living your life this way will give you the power and the confidence that you need to be the strong woman that you truly are.

You are powerful.

You can do this. I know you can. And in the process, you'll find out what he's really made of and whether he's really worth your you. And then, and only then, when he's committing to you first, before you go there, you'll find a relationship unequal to anything you've ever had before. But you'll never know, you'll never have the chance to find out what you have is with someone who is on the same page as you, until you demand nothing less from him and refuse to settle for anything less than that full commitment you really want.

And that, my beautiful friend, is everything you deserve!

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About Jane Garapick

Hi, I'm Jane Garapick. I'm here to provide inspiration, support and empowerment on the journey to true love. I know what it’s like to have a broken heart, a broken dream, and a broken you. And I know for a fact, that your dreams can still come true! Read more...
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Popular Posts

A beautiful woman is being hugged

Will He Ever Want a Committed Relationship? 3 Signs He Might

You're the one who really has tried everything to get him to come around and fully commit. You're the one who's given him more than enough time to come around and finally make the commitment . A beautiful woman is upset that her boyfriend won't give her the commitment she wants.

The Worst Thing You Can Do When He Won't Commit

A man telling a woman he just wants to be friends. They are standing in a park on a path, out of focus, with the camera looking through branches.

He Just Wants To Be Friends

Attractive young woman awaits a phone call. wondering why he hasn't called.

The Worst Thing You Can Do When He Hasn't Called

If you've let him know that you expect the same level of commitment from him that you've given him, and he can't give you the commitment that you're looking for, then there’s only one thing for you to do. A clock is showing that it's time to move on.

Your Best Response When You're Not Getting the Commitment You Want

Green freeway sign with Commitment written on it.

7 Things I've Learned About Men Who Are Afraid Of Commitment

A beautiful woman is looking at her ex boyfriend with his new girlfriend, wondering why he wouldn't commit to her.

Why He'll Commit to Her, But Not to You

A beautiful woman is upset because of the way her boyfriend treats her as he watches TV.

Why He Treats You the Way He Does

Image of a man who looks like a player showing signs he's not into you.

14 Warning Signs That He’s Not That in to You

A beautiful woman looks at her phone wondering why he hasn't called.

The REAL Reason He Hasn’t Called

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