moving on

I was once that girl, too.

A woman is upset, with her head in her hands, because her boyfriend says he wants a break. — I wish someone had told me this.

I was once that girl with a traumatized heart and soul, with the harshest lessons learned about love and sex and life. I feel your pain, every part of it that you're going through.

I was once that girl, too.

But I know something more from going it through it than I could ever have known then. There's so much more for you in spite of - and even because of - what you've been through.

So I say to you what I wish someone could have said to me back when I walked in similar shoes.

Love hasn't left you behind.

Love hasn't forgotten about you.

You did the best you could with what you knew. Continue Reading

Can't Let Go? Do This Instead

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Beautiful woman sad sitting on the window sill and painting on glass feeling heartbroken because it's hard to move on. — I know I need to let go, but I just can't.

She said she can’t let go. She needs him to let her go instead because she’s not strong enough to do it.

Okay, so I hear her and I hear all of her echoing where you are and what you feel. The pull you feel is too strong. The good stuff you get from this guy is too good and the bad stuff, while it breaks your heart, well, you can justify it as long as you keep focusing on the good parts.

So here’s what you need to hear today if you’re going to change this. Because no, he's not going to change this. He's not going to be the one to let you go if he hasn't already.

Why would he? Girl, he's got it soooo good with you!

Do this instead.Continue Reading

9 Ways to FINALLY Let Go and Move On

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I know I need to let go and move on, but I can't!

How do you let go and move on when you don’t really want to?

How do you stop caring when all you do is care?

Every day on my calls, this topic of letting go and moving on inevitably comes up in our conversations. Today I’m sharing with you what my beautiful clients have taught me about what works and what doesn’t from their first-hand experience of letting go and moving on when it’s the last thing you want to do, but the only thing left TO do.

1. Write down every last thing he did that broke your heart.

On your prettiest paper, with your most colorful pen, write down all the ways he made you feel awful, all the things he did that hurt you, and all the reasons you knew you’d have to eventually let him go.

You’re going to remember all the good things about someone much more than you’ll ever recall all those things that made you feel sad and anxious and hurt.

If you write down all the bad things, you’ll have a reference when all the good things come up and you’re tempted to once again give him the benefit of the doubt or excuse his behaviors if only he would take you back and you could try again with him.Continue Reading

I Thought I Wasn't Good Enough for Him

Not Quite Ready to Let Go and Move On?

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A beautiful woman sits on a park bench wondering why she loves him. — You're lonely with him, and you're lonely without him.

I want to be so gentle here with you, because I know exactly how it feels when you're in this situation.

You love this guy. You don't want to just let him go and start your own life.

Sure it feels good to say "I'm leaving him" and hear the cheers from every woman who's gone before you, every woman who's ever made this difficult choice herself, but this was never the way you wanted it.

You never chose this heartbreak, and all you wanted was for him to change back to the way he used to be when you fell in love with him in the first place.

You're lonely without him. You're lonely with him. You don't know which is worse and you're afraid to find out in case you make the wrong choice.

This was always the hardest decision you were ever going to make.Continue Reading

You know that relationship that broke your heart? Yeah, that one ...

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Beautiful woman looking out the window on a rainy day, wondering if it serves her. — This is the one that made that difference.

Don't you dare discount this relationship that didn't work out, that broke your heart as having happened for no reason at all.

It may not have turned out the way you hoped it would be. It might not have lived up to its potential that only you could see.

But girl, it wasn't nothing.

Don't ever discount each and every one of the relationships and experiences you've gone through as nothing. That has the effect of making you feel like nothing is happening behind the scenes for you.

That's NOT what's going on. Even if you can't see anything happening yet, that's still not what's going on.

Here's why I'm bringing this up right now. See, this woman I've been coaching for awhile now has been through just about everything. Every type of guy, especially the "so much potential" kind.Continue Reading

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I was once that girl, too.

Can't Let Go? Do This Instead

9 Ways to FINALLY Let Go and Move On

1. Write down every last thing he did that broke your heart.

I Thought I Wasn't Good Enough for Him

Not Quite Ready to Let Go and Move On?

You know that relationship that broke your heart? Yeah, that one ...

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