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I was once that girl, too.

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A woman is upset, with her head in her hands, because her boyfriend says he wants a break.
I wish someone had told me this.

I was once that girl with a traumatized heart and soul, with the harshest lessons learned about love and sex and life. I feel your pain, every part of it that you're going through.

I was once that girl, too.

But I know something more from going it through it than I could ever have known then. There's so much more for you in spite of - and even because of - what you've been through.

So I say to you what I wish someone could have said to me back when I walked in similar shoes.

Love hasn't left you behind.

Love hasn't forgotten about you.

You did the best you could with what you knew. Continue Reading

Can't Let Go? Do This Instead

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Beautiful woman sad sitting on the window sill and painting on glass feeling heartbroken because it's hard to move on.
I know I need to let go, but I just can't.

She said she can’t let go. She needs him to let her go instead because she’s not strong enough to do it.

Okay, so I hear her and I hear all of her echoing where you are and what you feel. The pull you feel is too strong. The good stuff you get from this guy is too good and the bad stuff, while it breaks your heart, well, you can justify it as long as you keep focusing on the good parts.

So here’s what you need to hear today if you’re going to change this. Because no, he's not going to change this. He's not going to be the one to let you go if he hasn't already.

Why would he? Girl, he's got it soooo good with you!

Do this instead.Continue Reading

9 Ways to FINALLY Let Go and Move On

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Profile of a beautiful woman wondering if her guy will ever want a committed relationship.
I know I need to let go and move on, but I can't!

How do you let go and move on when you don’t really want to?

How do you stop caring when all you do is care?

Every day on my calls, this topic of letting go and moving on inevitably comes up in our conversations. Today I’m sharing with you what my beautiful clients have taught me about what works and what doesn’t from their first-hand experience of letting go and moving on when it’s the last thing you want to do, but the only thing left TO do.

1. Write down every last thing he did that broke your heart.

On your prettiest paper, with your most colorful pen, write down all the ways he made you feel awful, all the things he did that hurt you, and all the reasons you knew you’d have to eventually let him go.

You’re going to remember all the good things about someone much more than you’ll ever recall all those things that made you feel sad and anxious and hurt.

If you write down all the bad things, you’ll have a reference when all the good things come up and you’re tempted to once again give him the benefit of the doubt or excuse his behaviors if only he would take you back and you could try again with him.Continue Reading

Not Quite Ready to Let Go and Move On?

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A beautiful woman sits on a park bench wondering why she loves him.
You're lonely with him, and you're lonely without him.

I want to be so gentle here with you, because I know exactly how it feels when you're in this situation.

You love this guy. You don't want to just let him go and start your own life.

Sure it feels good to say "I'm leaving him" and hear the cheers from every woman who's gone before you, every woman who's ever made this difficult choice herself, but this was never the way you wanted it.

You never chose this heartbreak, and all you wanted was for him to change back to the way he used to be when you fell in love with him in the first place.

You're lonely without him. You're lonely with him. You don't know which is worse and you're afraid to find out in case you make the wrong choice.

This was always the hardest decision you were ever going to make.Continue Reading

What do I do? He keeps giving me mixed signals!

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Lonely sad beautiful woman feeling hurt and heartbroken holding phone because boyfriend has gone radio silent
I'm so confused by all this!

Ever wondered if you're the only one whose understanding and supportive qualities keep getting taken for a ride? You're not alone! Calleigh has her own story to share and I'm pretty sure you'll see something you can relate to in here.

Here's her story:

Hi Jane,

I met a guy at work four years ago. We hit it off right away and had an immediate connection. I've never been with someone who I liked so much and had so much in common and got along with. We started dating a few months later. Everything was just getting started when his parents started having health issues.

I stayed by him through everything.

We talked a few months later and he told me that because his parents were taking up so much of his time, we would have to have more of a friendship at the time. I agreed because I knew he had a lot going on and I wanted to be supportive.

He always acted like I was his girlfriend and would say things that only a boyfriend would say.Continue Reading

Is it love? Or just what you're used to?

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A heartbroken woman with her head in her hands, wondering how do I let go?
Why does it feel like a punishment?

I've noticed a theme in the conversations we've been having lately.

I hear you say you think you're being punished.

You've had such bad luck with men, you're convinced it's got to be some form of punishment.

I hear you say you think it's because of something you did or something you should have known better to do.

I hear you say there's just some reason that you're being put through whatever it is you're going through - as if someone or something called God or love or fate - or whatever you believe in - could do something like this to you.

Drop that story, Beautiful. It's old. It's not true. It's not loving. And it's so unkind to you.Continue Reading

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