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You are here: Home / Archives for emotionally unavailable men

I'm Heartbroken - How Do I Move On?

40 Comments

A beautiful woman lies on her bed looking at her laptop.
I found out he's in a new relationship only a month after we split!

It's always so difficult to move on after a serious heartbreak, even when we know it's the best thing for us to do. Our letter this week comes from our beautiful friend Paulina, whose boyfriend suddenly left her and her son after she asked him about making a commitment.

Here's her story:

Hi Jane ,

I broke up with my boyfriend of over three and a half years about 7 months ago and I just can't seem to move on.

He basically was literally part time living with me and my 12 year old son who he bonded with over the years and we were both incredibly hurt when he left.

We broke up because I kept asking when we were going to move the relationship on and he kept avoiding my questions even though he was living with me and my son for 5 days a week. We had a heart to heart the day after Valentines day and I told him to leave and think about what he wants.Continue Reading

Did I Make the Right Decision?

41 Comments

A woman is upset about her breakup with an emotionally unavailable man, and her two friends are consoling her.
Maybe I just needed to give it all more time

One of our beautiful readers, who has called herself "Stormy", has ended her 5 month relationship with an emotionally unavailable man, but now she's second-guessing herself.

Here's her story:

Dear Jane,

I'm thankful to God this morning for the person on my Facebook who shared your webpage.

You truly are a Godsend to me in this time of pain and heart-break I'm now going through. I've already been helped and blessed by some of the other questions and answers you've posted and I'm hoping you can offer a little advice for my situation as well.

Just yesterday, I decided to end an exclusive relationship of almost 5 months with a man I've fallen in love with. It was one of the hardest decisions I've ever made.Continue Reading

Seriously? How Did I Get Here. . .

25 Comments

A brunette woman feeling lonely in her relationship sits looking at the ocean.
He's a great guy, but until I walk he won't ever truly show up.

One of our beautiful readers, who has chosen to call herself "Always Baby", or "AB" for short, has been in a long term on-and-off relationship with a guy who just can't seem to truly commit.

Here's her email:

I am 40. I met my boyfriend when I was 36.

We were together for a few years, split for 12 months, and got back together. We have now been back together for over a year.

My boyfriend told me on the first date he would never fall in love again, he would never marry again, and that was that. Maya Angelou says when people tell you who they are the first time, listen.

I should have.

Our chemistry was amazing..the date was planned around my loves (a play, dinner at the most romantic place)...the banter between us, sexual tension, instant connection--it was all there.

So I dated him.

The process of our relationship -- dating, to committed in regards to being his girlfriend took almost 7 months...and slowly, it hasn't grown much. We broke up when he took Chantix to quit smoking. It had horrible side effects on him including a withdrawal from life, passion, intimacy, his child who he has primary custody of, his personality -- he just became a depressed, dark man. I tried to stay with him. He eventually cut me out.

I thought about him every single day for that year that followed.Continue Reading

The Difference Between Your Fantasy and His Reality

20 Comments

A magical book is open on the table signifying an epic love story that we all want.
We all want the epic love story, but is it real?

We love a good story. Especially a good love story.

We want a love that conquers all. And a dream that, against all odds, still comes true.

We want the sparks. The fireworks.

We want an underdog to triumph. And what we perceive as good versus evil to win.

And more than anything else, we want the happy ending.

We’re not just talking about a story. We’re talking about our story.

Our lives. Continue Reading

Why You're Attracting Emotionally Unavailable Men

103 Comments

A woman is lying her head on a couch wondering why she keeps attracting emotionally unavailable men.
Why do I keep attracting these emotionally unavailable guys?

There's a reason you chose him.

Because, after all, you can choose anyone you want. You know what you want. You know what you don't. And out of all the men you could have picked, you chose him.

Not just any him. Him.

There's something about him that's so strong, yet so sensitive. So confident on the one hand, and yet so vulnerable on the other. He's the quintessential type of all the types you've ever been so attracted to; because after all, it's no accident that he started out every bit as attracted to you.Continue Reading

It Was Going So Well, Then He Suddenly Became Emotionally Unavailable

33 Comments

A beautiful woman looks at her phone wondering why her boyfriend suddenly became emotionally unavailable and stopped calling or texting.
He suddenly stopped calling or texting.

One of our beautiful readers, Mimi, was in a relationship for over a year with a man who is suddenly getting emotionally distant and emotionally (as well as physically) unavailable.

Here's her story:

Thanks for the opportunity to reach out. I'll be as brief as possible, sacrificing good grammar and punctuation along the way!

I reconnected with a friend of a friend, whom I first met over 20 years ago, a little under two years ago. We first Facebook messaged, getting to know one another.

I am never married, he is divorced with two kids, and we discussed our schooling, work, private lives etc. over messages for about a month. Went from Facebook to using personal emails, he gave me his phone number but I didn't call, just emailed.

Gave him mine finally and he called and we continued with phone conversations and texts. All told we got to know one another quite well through these methods for about 5 months before a face to face meeting. Which was great as it left the physical aspect out of the attraction and it was in very different levels. He lives about 3.5 hrs from me, drove down that first night for dinner, then returned home.

Seeing one another after months of contact was nothing short of wonderful.

That was August 2013, but since he has was in the process of building his own business that is seasonal, he works 7 days a week, so our contact continued to be from afar. He came again in October and soon thereafter said he wanted me to visit him and meet his kids. I did, in November 2013, and from there we saw one another regularly every few weeks.

Though his business was 'out Of season' he still worked at it night and day (he had come from a corporate setting and is very determined and driven and a workaholic to some extent). All seems great, though he is continually overwhelmed and stressed with his business and focuses on it endlessly.

Summer of 2014 fun, early Fall good as we make plans to do things and go places and he excitedly looks forward to the end of his season.Continue Reading

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About Jane Garapick

Hi, I'm Jane Garapick. I'm here to provide inspiration, support and empowerment on the journey to true love. I know what it’s like to have a broken heart, a broken dream, and a broken you. And I know for a fact, that your dreams can still come true! Read more...
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