Finding your YOU that leads to TWO
The email I chose to feature on the blog this week is from gorgeous Keziah. Her question is one I hear often, in many different forms, from so many of you.
How could a man not be ready for commitment yet he doesn’t want to lose you because he loves you?
- Keziah
One single sentence. But such a huge question.
How could a man not be ready for commitment, yet he doesn’t want to lose you because he loves you?
Yes, exactly! How?!Continue Reading
Beautiful Allie shares her story of waiting endlessly for a commitment - will he ever be ready?
I am going to be 32 the end of this year.
I have been with a man for the last 9 years. We dated when we were younger, in between friends with benefits, and more recently started dating (both of us have no children and have never been married.)
My question is, he is unable to define what we are at all, completely accustomed to seeing me out of pure convenience when he can pencil me into his schedule and is okay with seeing me 1 to 2 times a week (literally.) Maybe a dinner after work, breakfast and then I'm gone by 11:00 the next morning.
We have never spent two days together or had a weekend together.
We have had multiple discussions about commitment and things improve but then 4 months later go back to the same old cycle. It's almost as if he wants his life separate from mine; his time is his and he's very set in his ways.Continue Reading
“Ok,” I said, when we were finally alone. I had been waiting all afternoon for just the right time to ask him this question ever since I had heard the news.
“What is it about her? Why is she the one who won your heart?”
He was the one I was always curious about. He was the quintessential “emotionally unavailable man”.
He had it all. Good-looking, successful, all-around guys guy; he epitomized the strong, silent type so many of us have long tried to change.
He had a string of long term relationships in his history with women who had all been relationship material, vying to be the one who would finally win him over.
But no one ever did.Continue Reading
Beautiful Melanie is feeling "dazed and confused" (her words) over whether she should choose commitment or chemistry.
Hi Jane,
I have been following your program for several months now and read many of your stories. I have followed your advice about an ex-boyfriend (who moved and is now long distance.)
We tried to make things work for the last year as long distance, but he had an issue with being alone and also is going through a divorce for 3 years that is still not final. He has been unable to commit to anything at this point.
We were together for a year, then he had to move for work a year ago. He lives 3 hours away.Continue Reading
We know how this works.
No matter how we come to it we’ve already got our answer.
I can’t become this confident, beautiful, radiant woman UNTIL he picks me.
I can’t prove I’m worthy UNTIL he validates me.
I can’t become that woman I know I’ve got the potential to become UNTIL he elevates me.
But this is where we’ve got it so backwards.
He can’t commit to something he can’t see. He can’t commit to something he doesn’t even know he’s attracted to himself. He can only commit to something he can see.Continue Reading
You’ve asked me what it looks like. You’ve asked me how it happens.
And as much as I try to give you words that I hope will resonate most with you, there is nothing that compares to hearing from someone who was just like you, asking me these same questions.
Someone who wanted nothing more than to know the "what" and the "how" as well.
You met her on the blog about a year and a half ago, when she wrote to me after a devastating breakup, questioning "Will I Ever Find Someone Else?" Now, I have a follow-up letter from her that she wrote to share with our community.
Dear Jane,
I have been meaning to write you for some time now to update you on my journey.
I’m not sure if you would remember me, but I wrote to you about a year and a half ago, writing under the alias “Looking for Hope"...
I had just ended an engagement with an emotionally unavailable man; I felt so heart-broken from my past and scared for the future, but what I felt the most was confusion. I didn’t know how or why what had happened with my ex-fiancé happened, but deep down I knew there were answers to those questions.
It was your blog and coaching sessions that was the beginning of me peeling away to get to the root of that confusion.Continue Reading
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