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I Want Commitment and Marriage, But He Doesn't Believe In It

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A tug of war between a man and a woman with an engagment ring on a string, signifying non commitment to marriage.
He doesn't think he needs a marriage certificate to love someone.

Gorgeous Alison writes to us about her long term relationship with a man who can't seem to give her the commitment she wants. She wants the whole package, including the wedding.

Her story:

Hi Jane

I am 51, 52 in January and I have been with my partner/boyfriend for 4 years. I was married for 5 years, before that my husband and I dated for 6 years before we tied the knot.

He mentally abused me and cheated on me with a much younger woman, which left me extremely insecure in every relationship since then. I have little or no self-esteem and since my divorce 20 years, I have been insecure and have had many failed relationships.Continue Reading

Am I Rushing Things?

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A beautiful woman stands, looking downward, in front of a red brick wall.
I just want a little security, is that too much to ask?

Beautiful Diana decided to ask her long term boyfriend where he sees the relationship going, and the response she got was not at all what she expected.

Here's her story:

I am in my late 50s. I divorced my husband after 20+ years of very verbally abusive marriage. But I never lost the hope of what I will have one day - a nice, stable, loving and very committed relationship what will last forever.

I just do not want to waste my time with relationships that are just “dating”.

I work hard on my relationships, I am patient, and I know it takes time for two people to get closer and to be ready to commit. Unfortunately, no matter how good the relationship is, no matter how much he “loves” me, no matter how much he does not want to see me leaving after I had enough of waiting for him to get ready to commit, I am in the situation where I am leaving alreadythe  3rd “boyfriend” just because I do not see any signs of real commitment.

I dated my first (after the divorce) boyfriend for 1+ year.Continue Reading

Am I Wasting My Time and My Heart?

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A beautiful woman looking pensive holds a clock wondering if she is wasting her time with her boyfriend.
Will he ever learn what it takes to be in a relationship?

This week's letter comes from beautiful Corinne, who tells her story of an on-again-off-again relationship with a man who can't seem to commit.

Here's her email:

My boyfriend and I were together for almost 3 years. We had a beautiful, fun relationship with so much love. The only thing that bothered me was that I always felt as though he was searching for something wrong with me.

Our relationship was really strong for about two and a half years, until things in his life started to change (he was graduating from college, I had already graduated but was staying local for a job). He talked about finding jobs together and moving in together, and sounded really optimistic about it.

All of a sudden, out of nowhere, he broke up with me and really didn't have an explanation.Continue Reading

The Truth About Why He Can’t Commit

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A beautiful woman is hugging her boyfriend, wondering why he's getting emotionally distant.
He honestly doesn’t know why he can't commit to you – but you do!

He tells you he can’t commit. That he just isn’t commitment material.

He tells you he doesn’t know why, but he’s never been able to commit before.

He doesn’t believe it has anything to do with him. He's not sure, but he thinks it’s because he hasn’t found the right woman yet.

Okay, let’s break this down.

What happens to you when you hear something like that? That he just hasn’t found the right woman yet.

Yep. We spring up, ready to take action and rise to the challenge.Continue Reading

He's Unable to Define What We Are

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A beautiful upset woman sits on a couch with her boyfriend, who is unable to define the relationship.
After 9 years he's still unable to define our relationship.

Beautiful Allie shares her story of waiting endlessly for a commitment - will he ever be ready?

Here's what she wrote:

I am going to be 32 the end of this year.

I have been with a man for the last 9 years. We dated when we were younger, in between friends with benefits, and more recently started dating (both of us have no children and have never been married.)

My question is, he is unable to define what we are at all, completely accustomed to seeing me out of pure convenience when he can pencil me into his schedule and is okay with seeing me 1 to 2 times a week (literally.) Maybe a dinner after work, breakfast and then I'm gone by 11:00 the next morning.

We have never spent two days together or had a weekend together.

We have had multiple discussions about commitment and things improve but then 4 months later go back to the same old cycle. It's almost as if he wants his life separate from mine; his time is his and he's very set in his ways.Continue Reading

My Husband’s Long-Single, Classically Emotionally Unavailable Friend is Now Engaged!

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Picture of man putting wedding ring on woman hand signaling engagement.
What was it that finally made him commit?

“Ok,” I said, when we were finally alone. I had been waiting all afternoon for just the right time to ask him this question ever since I had heard the news.

“What is it about her? Why is she the one who won your heart?”

He was the one I was always curious about. He was the quintessential “emotionally unavailable man”.

He had it all. Good-looking, successful, all-around guys guy; he epitomized the strong, silent type so many of us have long tried to change.

He had a string of long term relationships in his history with women who had all been relationship material, vying to be the one who would finally win him over.

But no one ever did.Continue Reading

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