Finding your YOU that leads to TWO
Don't spend any more of your time or energy on why it didn't work out, why he ghosted you or whatever else you can't let go of.
We spend wayyyyy too much time ruminating over everything we should have done differently to keep a guy.
The only retrospect you want is that he wasn't your guy.
There's lots of different guys, just this one wasn't yours!
Your goal is to meet as many men as possible and move on from the ones who ghost you or don't pursue you.Continue Reading
I met her on our first coaching session. She desperately wanted to know what she needed to do to keep things moving forward with her guy. She had already decided he was the one for her.
Everything lined up.
He was tall, attractive, smart, funny and successful. He was the perfect complement to her own successful career. He completed the picture for her.
She came to me wanting to make sure she didn’t mess up. This was her guy and she was ready for him to commit to her.Continue Reading
I've written a lot about fathers. Especially about how it's our primary father-daughter relationship (or lack of one) that sets the stage for who we're attracted to when we're older.
Our entire understanding of the emotionally-available man is built around the type of relationship we had with our dads.
And so today, as I called my own dad to wish him a Happy Father's Day, I was reminded of what I've come to know for sure over the almost 2 decades since I've been with my husband now, a man who couldn't be more unlike my dad.
I know my dad did the best he could with who he was and what he was taught when I was the little girl I used to be.
See, there's a process we go through when we first realize the cause of so much of our pain is because we're chasing after a mirror version of what we were missing in our relationships with our dads.
If your dad wasn't someone who sought you out, who pursued you, who came to you instead of you always having to come to him if you wanted a relationship with him, you won't think twice about chasing after men now.
With every new relationship, we learn. Every time our hearts break, we learn.
I’ll never do that again, we say. I’ll make sure to do this instead. Sound familiar?
I used to think there was something wrong with me because I couldn’t NOT jump in with both feet whenever that intense chemistry kicked in. I used to wonder why I couldn’t be like other women who managed to keep their objectivity and take their time getting to know a new guy without putting all their eggs in one basket.
Because unlike them, I spent way, way too much of my time and energy waiting for him to call, to make plans with me for the weekend. It was such an anxiety-provoking way to live waiting on him like this, and yet doing anything else - making plans with someone else -seemed like I would be showing him I wasn’t all that interested and he would lose interest in me.
Turns out, the opposite is true. This is now one of the things I would do so differently.Continue Reading
Our beautiful friend, Cyndi, has been dating a guy who seems to be a bit "hot and cold". Right when she feels like there's a connection, he suddenly disappears on her for days at a time.
Hi Jane,
I am a 48 year old woman, and currently in the middle of a divorce, which luckily is very amicable.
I have been separated for almost four years. During the last four years I have dated and been in relationships with it seems like the same kind of man - either unavailable or still in love with their ex's - so as you can see they haven't been successful.
Even though I learned a new lesson with each man, I am still confused as to how I should be acting especially in the early stages.
Which leads me to my question.
I have been emailing, texting and talking with a man I met on an online site. At first I would hear from him daily, then he would disappear for a few days, then come back, with an explanation of being really busy, and then disappear again.Continue Reading
If you're like I was, there are times when you really begin to question yourself.
Like when you think you notice little things suddenly being different, but since you can't quite put your finger on any one thing, you second-guess yourself. You feel like he's getting distant, but it's subtle.
You know if you confront him about it, he'll deny it, or tell you that you're being needy, or controlling, or smothering, or something else just as awful sounding. But in your gut you know it's true.
It's happened. Again. He's getting distant, and to you it feels like the beginning of the end.
This is exactly what's happening right now to our beautiful friend, Vanessa.
Me and my boyfriend have been together for about 7 months and recently just came back from our vacation together.Continue Reading
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