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Am I Wasting My Time and My Heart?

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A beautiful woman looking pensive holds a clock wondering if she is wasting her time with her boyfriend.
Will he ever learn what it takes to be in a relationship?

This week's letter comes from beautiful Corinne, who tells her story of an on-again-off-again relationship with a man who can't seem to commit.

Here's her email:

My boyfriend and I were together for almost 3 years. We had a beautiful, fun relationship with so much love. The only thing that bothered me was that I always felt as though he was searching for something wrong with me.

Our relationship was really strong for about two and a half years, until things in his life started to change (he was graduating from college, I had already graduated but was staying local for a job). He talked about finding jobs together and moving in together, and sounded really optimistic about it.

All of a sudden, out of nowhere, he broke up with me and really didn't have an explanation.Continue Reading

After 4 Years He Emailed 'Goodbye Forever'

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A beautiful woman sits on a couch at home alone, feeling sad that she doesn't have a boyfriend.
I'm heartbroken - I don't know if he broke up with me or is just mad.

This week, Patricia writes in to tell us about her surprising recent breakup that she's having trouble understanding.

Here's what she wrote:

My Boyfriend, partner of going on 4 years and I got into a huge argument over my trying to rescue an abused Horse, and my Girlfriend was going to buy it.

He thinks he knows it all  with 4 degrees and got all bent out of shape when things were not going the way he wanted them to with the transaction, saying a lot of incompetent things were going on with communication with the owner of this horse, my girlfriend and me.

My Girlfriend is an X News Anchor/now Author of 5 books and he demeaned me and her acting like we did not know how to carry out a transaction to rescue this horse.Continue Reading

He Started Acting Distant Right After Our Conversation

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A woman is upset after her boyfriend became emotionally distant and pulled away.
He pulled away right after our conversation.

Our letter this week comes from beautiful Charlie, who tells us her story of a painful breakup.

Here's the story she shared:

So, me and my boyfriend broke up about 11 days ago.

I asked him a couple weeks before if he wanted children and to marry me. He's said through the relationship that he does and has even given timescales. His answer was now "I don't know, they'd be a compromise." Then he acted strange for the two weeks after this conversation.

So I was unhappy as he was being rude and unaffectionate. We had a day out and it was like the worst first date ever.

Then Wednesday before last I cried at work because I knew I had to talk to him as he made it clear he didn't want to make plans with me the weekend before (watching fifty shades all day with his best female friend.)

So me being unhappy that he didn't even plan something with me and she wasn't even free that weekend, I got upset and decided we needed to talk.Continue Reading

He Broke Up With Me Over Text

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Beautiful woman sitting down checking her text messages using mobile phone.
I still can't believe he broke up with me over text!

This week, beautiful Lolly shares her story with us, about how her boyfriend broke up with her through a text message, which is becoming more and more common. But, as always, the real story of the relationship goes much deeper than that.

Here's her email:

Hi Jane.

Firstly I would like to thank you and all the amazing women in your forum for all the advice that you provide here, it has made a tremendous impact in my life.

I have been seeing this guy for over a year now. He is 34 and I am turning 33 in 2 days. 

He doesn't have kids and I have 2 kids (boys). We never really labeled our relationship from the beginning (big mistake.) Everything just happened so fast, from him sending me flowers at work on my birthday after just two months of knowing each other to us spending most of our time together.

It came to a point where we were literally spending almost all the weekends together as we live very close to each other.

So as time went on and us having serious discussions about our relationship, future goals etc., he indicated to me that he was not ready for a serious relationship as he was still focusing on his career.

I made it clear that if I happen to meet someone who wants to settle down I will leave the relationship. He begged me and said if that ever happens he will have to step up and make things right with me (in my mind I thought he meant commitment.)

He has been very good to me in terms of being there for me in any manner that I can ever imagine. He was playing the boyfriend role  I felt like we were in a serious relationship. He took me on vacation with his friends and their girlfriends during the new year.Continue Reading

I Want to Let Go But He Still Has My Heart

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Woman one the beach reflecting on letting go.
I'm so confused about whether I should do something or not.

One of our gorgeous readers, Heather, is having a hard time letting go of a relationship that she knows is not what she wants.

Here's her letter:

Hi Jane!

I've been following you for a little while. I find your explanations and responses very comforting...so thank you!

I'm going to try to summarize this as best I can.

I met a man almost 3 years ago who changed my world. We were together for almost 2 years with a brief break in the middle. Our issue then and what ended up breaking us up was the issue of having kids.

He's 10 years older than me. He has 3 foster kids and didn't want to have anymore. I wasn't ready to give up on the idea of having kids so we split.

We didn't talk for a little while after the break up but then ended up staying in contact until about a month ago.Continue Reading

How Do I Let Go and Find Happiness?

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A heartbroken woman with her head in her hands, wondering how do I let go?
I can't seem to let him go and let myself be free.

This week, I've chosen a letter from one of our beautiful readers, Elizabeth. She's suffered a huge heartbreak and she's wondering how she can let go, move on, and finally find happiness in her life.

Here's her email:

I've been reading your blogs for a few years now.

I know you have answered questions and given advice about letting go, freeing yourself from your past, etc. I feel like I have a unique situation though and I am really at a loss for how to truly put it in my past.

I dated the same guy off and on from 2007-2016. Our break-ups were always very bitter and sad, and I would spend months trying to heal and forgive him and myself. Every time, once I got to the point of finally accepting everything with him, he would pop back into my life.

He would tell me how he loves me, how sorry he is for everything, and would want to give us another try. He knew I never fell out of love with him.

The break-up before the most recent one, I wrote him a letter telling him why I think our relationship didn't work and I was ready to accept that we will never be together, but I needed some closure so I wrote the letter.Continue Reading

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