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Relationships

The Relationships category contains posts regarding the stage after dating, in which you are generally in an exclusive monogamous relationship. The Relationships category includes posts on such topics as meeting the family, commitment, is he the right one for you?, etc.

I Thought We Had Something, But It Was All a Lie

20 Comments

A beautiful woman feels sad because she feels she was used.
He knew how l felt but he kept using me

The letter I want to share with you this week comes from one of our beautiful readers who has asked to remain anonymous. I'll simply call her "Beautiful".

Here's what she shared:

Hi Jane,

I thought l'd share my story with you as right now l’m so devastated and feel this pain won’t go away.

It’s killing me.

I have been sleeping with a guy for years. l fell so in love with him and thought he definitely had feelings for me. He'd tell me we would never be together but l never believed him as when we were together it felt real.

He'd give me that impression that there was something there, we got on so well together.

But l know now after seeing him on a dating site that it was all a lie, the kisses, the cuddles was all a lie. It really was just sex on his part but l thought there was feelings there.

l thought we had something.Continue Reading

I Want to Let Go But He Still Has My Heart

12 Comments

Woman one the beach reflecting on letting go.
I'm so confused about whether I should do something or not.

One of our gorgeous readers, Heather, is having a hard time letting go of a relationship that she knows is not what she wants.

Here's her letter:

Hi Jane!

I've been following you for a little while. I find your explanations and responses very comforting...so thank you!

I'm going to try to summarize this as best I can.

I met a man almost 3 years ago who changed my world. We were together for almost 2 years with a brief break in the middle. Our issue then and what ended up breaking us up was the issue of having kids.

He's 10 years older than me. He has 3 foster kids and didn't want to have anymore. I wasn't ready to give up on the idea of having kids so we split.

We didn't talk for a little while after the break up but then ended up staying in contact until about a month ago.Continue Reading

I Am Strong, But Not So Strong

11 Comments

A beautiful woman looks out a window wondering why she is not strong.
I feel so weak because I can't let go.

One of our gorgeous readers, Sunshine, is feeling as though she's weak because she just can't seem to let go.

Here's her story:

Dear Jane,

I have been reading your blog for over two years and the moment I was feeling very strong something happened to me.

I met him in a dance class. I am 36 and he is 27.

He found me next day on fb and messaged me saying how much he liked dancing with me. We started chatting and then he asked me out.

We went to five dates without any sex and he started to act like a boyfriend soon, picking me from home, texting constantly about me and my day. Finally we had sex and quickly became a couple.Continue Reading

Should I Choose Commitment Over Chemistry?

22 Comments

A beautiful woman looks at her phone feeling confused over whether she should choose commitment or chemistry.
I'm so confused! I don't know what to do...

Beautiful Melanie is feeling "dazed and confused" (her words) over whether she should choose commitment or chemistry.

Here's what she wrote:

Hi Jane,

I have been following your program for several months now and read many of your stories. I have followed your advice about an ex-boyfriend (who moved and is now long distance.)

We tried to make things work for the last year as long distance, but he had an issue with being alone and also is going through a divorce for 3 years that is still not final. He has been unable to commit to anything at this point.

We were together for a year, then he had to move for work a year ago. He lives 3 hours away.Continue Reading

He Can’t Commit to You Until He Can Do This

14 Comments

A mature couple on a date talking together in sofa
This is what he needs first.

We know how this works.

No matter how we come to it we’ve already got our answer.

I can’t become this confident, beautiful, radiant woman UNTIL he picks me.

I can’t prove I’m worthy UNTIL he validates me.

I can’t become that woman I know I’ve got the potential to become UNTIL he elevates me.

But this is where we’ve got it so backwards.

He can’t commit to something he can’t see. He can’t commit to something he doesn’t even know he’s attracted to himself. He can only commit to something he can see.Continue Reading

Should I Hang On or Let Go?

11 Comments

Close up of hands of romantic couple holding together loosely with sun rays on a white sky.
I don't know whether to keep hanging on or just let him go.

One of our gorgeous readers, Holly, is currently going through what so many of us have gone through before. Things were going so well but now her boyfriend has changed and he's getting distant. She's wondering if she should hang on, or just let go.

Here's what she wrote:

Hi Jane,

I've been with my boyfriend for a year now.

I moved in with him soon after we met, we were having a great time and I was so happy. We were always together and out doing fun things all the time, out for meals, visiting family together, taking trips on holiday, planning ahead.

He told me how much I meant to him, how great I was, and we were so in love.

However, I feel things have turned for the worst recently - as the relationship towards the end of the year we began to argue a lot in the house and he began to get upset living with me.Continue Reading

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