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Relationships

The Relationships category contains posts regarding the stage after dating, in which you are generally in an exclusive monogamous relationship. The Relationships category includes posts on such topics as meeting the family, commitment, is he the right one for you?, etc.

My Boyfriend is Still Friends With His Exes

4 Comments

A group of male and female friends are out together socially at a restaurant.
He started calling her a friend rather than an ex.

Gorgeous Sherrie writes about her long-distance boyfriend who likes to bring up his "accomplished" exes (who he still maintains friendships with) in conversation. She's wondering if her feelings about this are normal or if she's overreacting.

Here's her story:

Hi Jane,

My question is about my boyfriend's two ex-girlfriends.

My boyfriend is a wonderful man. We have been in a long-distance relationship (USA and Australia) for two and a half years. We FaceTime each week and SMS or text other days. We spent three months living together a year ago when I was working on a project in the US.

We see each other every 6 months. He is coming to spend Christmas and New Years with me this year.Continue Reading

Is He Losing Interest?

14 Comments

A beautiful woman is looking at her boyfriend with love wondering is he losing interest.
I’m so afraid that I’m not that interesting to him anymore.

Beautiful Mia writes to tell us about her fear that her boyfriend of 2 years may be losing interest in her.

Here's her email:

Hi Jane,

First of all, I just wanted to say I love reading all the advice you give, even when it’s not relevant to me. You have such an addictively soothing way with words!

I was hoping you could give me some advice about my relationship of almost 2 years.

When we first met, my boyfriend and I hit it off immediately. We were so excited to talk, text, call, and arrange dates with each other as much as possible.Continue Reading

This Will Make Him Want to Commit, But…

8 Comments

Man lies on the couch while his girlfriend is upset with him because he's emotionally unavailable.
It's only ever been this.

 

There’s a question you have to ask yourself before you stay one more day in a relationship waiting for a man who isn’t committing to you.

I know why you’re waiting. I know you see enough good in him, enough potential in him to make him worth the wait.

But you’re not doing yourself any favors and wasting a whole lot of your life and time right now if you can’t answer this with anything but a definitive “yes”.

If he NEVER changes, do you still want him?Continue Reading

I Want Commitment and Marriage, But He Doesn't Believe In It

13 Comments

A tug of war between a man and a woman with an engagment ring on a string, signifying non commitment to marriage.
He doesn't think he needs a marriage certificate to love someone.

Gorgeous Alison writes to us about her long term relationship with a man who can't seem to give her the commitment she wants. She wants the whole package, including the wedding.

Her story:

Hi Jane

I am 51, 52 in January and I have been with my partner/boyfriend for 4 years. I was married for 5 years, before that my husband and I dated for 6 years before we tied the knot.

He mentally abused me and cheated on me with a much younger woman, which left me extremely insecure in every relationship since then. I have little or no self-esteem and since my divorce 20 years, I have been insecure and have had many failed relationships.Continue Reading

Am I Rushing Things?

20 Comments

A beautiful woman stands, looking downward, in front of a red brick wall.
I just want a little security, is that too much to ask?

Beautiful Diana decided to ask her long term boyfriend where he sees the relationship going, and the response she got was not at all what she expected.

Here's her story:

I am in my late 50s. I divorced my husband after 20+ years of very verbally abusive marriage. But I never lost the hope of what I will have one day - a nice, stable, loving and very committed relationship what will last forever.

I just do not want to waste my time with relationships that are just “dating”.

I work hard on my relationships, I am patient, and I know it takes time for two people to get closer and to be ready to commit. Unfortunately, no matter how good the relationship is, no matter how much he “loves” me, no matter how much he does not want to see me leaving after I had enough of waiting for him to get ready to commit, I am in the situation where I am leaving alreadythe  3rd “boyfriend” just because I do not see any signs of real commitment.

I dated my first (after the divorce) boyfriend for 1+ year.Continue Reading

Am I Wasting My Time and My Heart?

15 Comments

A beautiful woman looking pensive holds a clock wondering if she is wasting her time with her boyfriend.
Will he ever learn what it takes to be in a relationship?

This week's letter comes from beautiful Corinne, who tells her story of an on-again-off-again relationship with a man who can't seem to commit.

Here's her email:

My boyfriend and I were together for almost 3 years. We had a beautiful, fun relationship with so much love. The only thing that bothered me was that I always felt as though he was searching for something wrong with me.

Our relationship was really strong for about two and a half years, until things in his life started to change (he was graduating from college, I had already graduated but was staying local for a job). He talked about finding jobs together and moving in together, and sounded really optimistic about it.

All of a sudden, out of nowhere, he broke up with me and really didn't have an explanation.Continue Reading

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