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Too Busy for a Relationship but Not Too Busy to String You Along

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Nobody is too busy, it is a matter of priorities - handwriting on a napkin with a cup of espresso coffee
He says he's too busy for a relationship because of work.

One of our beautiful readers, signed "In love with love", has a story that so many of us can relate to. The boyfriend that just can't seem to make time for (or commit to) a real relationship.

Read on for the full story:

Hi Jane,

I stumbled across one of your blogs, incidentally, a few weeks ago and have been hooked ever since.

You have a unique way of nailing all the issues with dating and love right on the head - it's to a point where you're reading, you think these blogs are made solely for you and speak to your own experience.

So Kudos for proving that relationship experts DO exist.

Anyhoo, I'd like to gather your thoughts on an issue that I've been dealing with. It's been some time since I've recapped events but I'll try my best to make it sensical.

In laymen's terms, I think I've fallen in love with someone who might love me back, but isn't letting themself. The only real excuse I've gotten is because he's too busy for a relationship because of work.

I don't buy that because I believe we make time for the  things and people we want. And if that's not me, why not just say so?

This would be a much easier pill to swallow if he would say he's just not that into me or doesn't see us working out. That I can understand. But this limbo we've been teetering in for months is mentally debilitating and hindering me from moving on.

Can you please advise?Continue Reading

I'm Riding the Relationship Roller Coaster

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Unhappy couple after fight not talking to each other
He acts like he doesn't care.

Beautiful Kaylie is in an on-again-off-again relationship roller coaster of a relationship (sound familiar anyone?)

Here's what she wrote:

So, I’ve been dating this guy for a little over 8 months.

We always break up but end up getting back the same day (or the next day), so basically “disagreements” you can say. He used to try when we were together but this time I think we're done for good.

He told me he isn’t getting back with me because he wants me to be happy.

I keep on chasing him but he acts like he doesn't care.

What should I do? Does he miss me or will he miss me?

-KaylieContinue Reading

How To Know If It’s Your Anxiety Talking – Or Something Else

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A beautiful woman looks at her phone feeling confused over whether she should choose commitment or chemistry.
Is it real, or are you worried over nothing?

There was a popular song by Billy Joel when I was growing up that had a line in it that went like this … “when you love someone, you’re always insecure”, and that's as true now as it was then.

Who isn’t insecure when everything seems like it’s going so well and yet you don’t really know someone well enough to know for sure?

When all you've known are relationships that gave you every reason to feel anxious, you don’t have anything like it to compare to. When you’ve given away so much of your heart, your body, and what often feels like your soul, regardless of how much we know we’re not supposed to go further than our overactive imaginations can handle, you’ve got a recipe for all kinds of anxiety to rear its head.

So how do you know how much to blame on your own anxiety and how much is being with the wrong person with real warning signs and red flags that you’re going to look back on and wonder why you didn’t see them at the time?

Well, this question came up this week in my “Engage” group coaching community, and it was such a great question, I wanted to include my answer here for you. After all, who hasn’t encountered that subtle shift where something seems to change that you can’t quite put your finger on?Continue Reading

Is He An Emotionally Immature Man?

4 Comments

A man leans in towards a woman he's interested in.
Why did he make it seem like he was interested?

Beautiful Sun tells us about a guy at work who's been giving her some serious mixed signals, and she's not understanding his behavior.

Here's her story:

There is this guy who joined my floor at work.

From the onset he would make a point to make sure he would get my attention by stopping and looking directly at me, nod his head and smile at me. He would do this regularly, but never speak when I would return his nod with a "hello".

He eventually started saying hello, he even stopped me while I was passing by to ask something general.

His stares would become more intense and he kept his stare when I made eye contact with him, at which point he would smile. One time when I passed by his desk he said, " l am going to bother you every time you pass by." I responded, "I am okay with that."

He would just say hello when I passed by his desk, or he would suddenly drop his phone from his hands, move away from his desk and make eye contact to stop me to talk. He would even get up from his desk frantically when I would engage in a conversation with him.Continue Reading

I Just Can't Let Him Go

5 Comments

Woman crying over her broken heart, because it hurts so bad.
I'm so scared it's going to be over.

Beautiful Jillian is scared, and she needs our help.

Here's her email. It's short and to the point, but it tells the story I hear over and over again, from women who are in a place we've all been too often:

Jane,

Truly, I love him. I do. And I just can't let him go.

But I don’t know what to do.

Not too long ago things were wonderful, but now he seems busy all the time. I call him, text him - nothing is working.

I’m scared it's over - please help!

-JillianContinue Reading

How To Spot A Player - Every. Single. Time.

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Happy young man and woman in a car enjoying a road trip on a summer day. Couple out on a drive in a open car.
He gives you the impression he could choose any woman in the world…but he’s chosen you.

I used to be so good at this. So good, that I could spot him a mile away.

That look. That walk. That talk. That other part.

Unfortunately, I was also especially good at running towards him, instead of in the opposite direction.

The fastest way to crossing paths with Mr. Right is recognizing Mr. Wrong and getting yourself out of there, pronto. As in - as soon as you can tell the difference. We waste so much time and energy trying to make someone into Mr. Right, that just knowing what you're looking for – and what you're NOT looking for - can make all the difference.

How will you know? It’s not him. It’s you.

You won’t be able to resist him. You won’t want to slow it down. You won’t be able to help yourself.

He’s charming. He’s irresistible. He comes on strong. He’s got an unmistakable confidence to him with just a hint of vulnerability that only you can see sprinkled in. He gives you the impression he could choose any woman in the world … but he’s chosen you.

Sound familiar?Continue Reading

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