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First He Became Distant, Now He Just Disappears

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Beautiful woman sad sitting on the window sill and painting on glass feeling heartbroken because it's hard to move on.
I'm devastated, I can't stop crying, texting and calling him.

Beautiful Jalyn writes to tell us her story and it's one I know so many of us, myself included, have experienced first hand.

Here's what she wrote:

I was dating a guy for over a year. We are both 27.

He has two children and I have none. We went on dates, vacations, met each other’s family.

When we started dating it was a lot of red flags but I liked him a lot that I looked past all of it. We used to spend 2 days/nights together. In the last couple months he became distant. Now he disappears for a week or two.

I would get angry and send him nasty text messages calling him awful names. He would say it’s because of my temper and I’ll forgive him and take him back.

It happened at least 8 times.Continue Reading

Don't Do This to Yourself

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A woman rubs her head because she's confused wondering if he's into her or not.
You deserve so much more than this!

You've waited.

You've given him space.

You've waited some more.

You've initiated contact with him when you could wait no longer to understand what is going on. And yet he treats you like it's nothing.

Like you are nothing to him.

He agrees to talk, but can't even confirm this and leaves you hanging.

Let him go. Let it be.

You deserve so much more than this. So much more than him. Yes, he looked at you like that; yes, he gave you all those signs that seemed to say he was in it, too. But for whatever reason, he's not there.

Maybe it's his busy job, maybe it's his past, maybe it's a million other things that you could drive yourself crazy over trying to figure him out.

Don't do this to yourself.Continue Reading

He Doesn't Want Kids

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A beautiful woman is on a date with a man.
He says he doesn't want kids, but I think I might. What do I do?

Beautiful Eve asks a question I've heard from so many of my clients over the years and she's absolutely right; it's one of the toughest questions for any of us to answer.

Here's her email:

Dear Jane,

I have read your book and countless of your articles/answers and I absolutely adore you. You have helped me in the past and I hope you could help me now.

I’m not sure this is the type of letter you’d normally answer but I can give it a shot.

I have been in a long distance relationship for a little more than 2.5 years (we lived close by for half a year.) We live on different continents (he's American military and I am from Europe.) We see each other a couple of weeks a year and call every day.

We are an incredible match and he makes me feel happy and cared for.

We both feel that this year we should live together. I will be moving. It will be really difficult regarding job and visa, but I think it will be worth it. (He hates me giving up everything and would like to be the one moving but with his job, it’s not possible right now.)

What bothers me is the following.Continue Reading

No, You're Not Expecting Too Much

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Female hands holding a sand in form of the heart
Don't ever let yourself become numb to what love really is.

Kindness.

Gentleness.

Compassion.

Empathy.

Actions.

Not shallow words that mean nothing without the behavior to accompany them.

Look around you.

Are these what you experience from your lovers, your boyfriends, your girl friends, your family, all these ones you give so much of your time, your energy, your own kindness and gentleness and compassion and empathy to?Continue Reading

Who Do You Think You Are?

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A woman is looking up at question marks above her head.
It’s the voice that’s never far from you.

Yes, you.

You’re the one I’m talking to.

Who do you think you are?

Who do you think you are that you have a right to be here, a right to get what your beautiful heart desires, a right to see your dreams come true? Who do you think you are to have what someone else has, to get what they’ve got, to talk like you do, to think like you do, to express yourself the way you do, to walk like you do, to carry yourself like you do, to do what you do? Who?

Sound familiar?

These are the words that define you. These are what you’re allowed to do.

Making. Trying. Striving. Hoping. Sometimes begging. Longing. Cajoling. Pleading. Often begging.

But these ones - Come sparkle. Come dance. Come thrive. Come live. With me. With all of us.

Not these.Continue Reading

Too Busy for a Relationship but Not Too Busy to String You Along

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Nobody is too busy, it is a matter of priorities - handwriting on a napkin with a cup of espresso coffee
He says he's too busy for a relationship because of work.

One of our beautiful readers, signed "In love with love", has a story that so many of us can relate to. The boyfriend that just can't seem to make time for (or commit to) a real relationship.

Read on for the full story:

Hi Jane,

I stumbled across one of your blogs, incidentally, a few weeks ago and have been hooked ever since.

You have a unique way of nailing all the issues with dating and love right on the head - it's to a point where you're reading, you think these blogs are made solely for you and speak to your own experience.

So Kudos for proving that relationship experts DO exist.

Anyhoo, I'd like to gather your thoughts on an issue that I've been dealing with. It's been some time since I've recapped events but I'll try my best to make it sensical.

In laymen's terms, I think I've fallen in love with someone who might love me back, but isn't letting themself. The only real excuse I've gotten is because he's too busy for a relationship because of work.

I don't buy that because I believe we make time for the  things and people we want. And if that's not me, why not just say so?

This would be a much easier pill to swallow if he would say he's just not that into me or doesn't see us working out. That I can understand. But this limbo we've been teetering in for months is mentally debilitating and hindering me from moving on.

Can you please advise?Continue Reading

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