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Archives for October 2017

The One Thing That Changes Everything When You're With An Emotionally Unavailable Man

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Sad woman hugging her emotionally unavailable boyfriend and looking down.
It’s about understanding what makes one man capable of making a commitment and another completely incapable.

There are some women who come to me with a question that’s easy to answer.

When they ask if he’s worth the effort, if they should stay, if they should give him more time, the answer’s so clear from my outside perspective and with everything I’ve learned about this kind of man.

Without their emotional attachment, without their personal connection to this man who represents something they can’t yet see, I see so clearly someone who should never, ever be anywhere near them, let alone in a relationship with them.

But then there are the others. Maybe it’s you, too.Continue Reading

It's Fantastic, But Then He Acts Weird and Distant

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A beautiful woman sits across from a man during a date that she doesn't want to be on.
As soon as he knows I'm done with the games, he pulls me back in.

Gorgeous Maria keeps getting pulled back into a relationship, only to have him pull away and get distant again.

Here's what she wrote:

Hi Jane, thank you in advance.

I'm trying to figure out why my ex won't let go of me all together.

And why does he act weird/distant when it comes to us actually meeting for dinner or even visiting him out of town where he lives.

As soon as he knows I'm done with his games he leaves me alone for a week or so, then calls. We have fantastic conversations. When we text or call/face time it's fantastic. But when he sees me  face to face he gets weird cold feet.Continue Reading

The Right To

4 Comments

Young smiling woman outdoors understanding her right to.
You have to first understand you actually have the right to.

Every single one of the answers to your questions becomes clear when you focus on just one thing.

Your power.

That’s it.

Everything else you’ve been told carries so much weight. Everything to do with "Should I call?", "How long should I wait to text?", "Should I break up with him?", "How long should I wait for a commitment?"

Every one of our questions has to do with us owning our own power and remembering who we are in light of that power.

It’s the opposite of ourselves as victim, or ourselves as powerless to change what we’ve resigned ourselves to.

I can’t stress this enough. Question why. Ask yourself why.Continue Reading

Is He Losing Interest?

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A beautiful woman is looking at her boyfriend with love wondering is he losing interest.
I’m so afraid that I’m not that interesting to him anymore.

Beautiful Mia writes to tell us about her fear that her boyfriend of 2 years may be losing interest in her.

Here's her email:

Hi Jane,

First of all, I just wanted to say I love reading all the advice you give, even when it’s not relevant to me. You have such an addictively soothing way with words!

I was hoping you could give me some advice about my relationship of almost 2 years.

When we first met, my boyfriend and I hit it off immediately. We were so excited to talk, text, call, and arrange dates with each other as much as possible.Continue Reading

This Will Make Him Want to Commit, But…

8 Comments

Man lies on the couch while his girlfriend is upset with him because he's emotionally unavailable.
It's only ever been this.

 

There’s a question you have to ask yourself before you stay one more day in a relationship waiting for a man who isn’t committing to you.

I know why you’re waiting. I know you see enough good in him, enough potential in him to make him worth the wait.

But you’re not doing yourself any favors and wasting a whole lot of your life and time right now if you can’t answer this with anything but a definitive “yes”.

If he NEVER changes, do you still want him?Continue Reading

It Was All So Perfect, But Then Everything Changed

23 Comments

A woman is upset, with her head in her hands, because her boyfriend says he wants a break.
He was as loving as usual, then suddenly he ended it!

See if this sounds familiar: Everything was going perfectly, but then all of a sudden he pulls away and wants to end things, leaving beautiful Florence absolutely shocked.

Here's her letter:

Hi Jane,

I started seeing the most lovely, caring, thoughtful and giving guy about 3 months ago.

I had just come out of a 2 year relationship when I met him unexpectedly, so I wasn't really interested in a serious relationship just yet. However, he seemed/seems like Mr. Perfect so I decided to go along with it. He made things serious very quickly and was showering me with gifts, etc. regularly.

After about 2 months I was leaving his house after staying over, he said goodbye, as loving and caring as usual, and texted me about an hour after I left as he usually did.Continue Reading

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