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Archives for March 2016

9 Years, 1 Dog, 1 House... No Ring

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A woman holds her dogs head close, showing affection.
Could this really be the end?

Our beautiful friend, who has signed herself "Confusing Journey", has been on quite the journey indeed. She's wondering if he'll ever propose, or if this should really be the end. Read on for her story...

Here's her letter:

I have been with my boyfriend for 9 years. We met when we were 17 and 19.

We have had a great relationship, with some hiccups a long the way, him leaving, back together, me leaving... back together. The longest we ever separated for is 3 weeks though.

All of those issues occurred early in our relationship when we both were so young and we always worked through the issues. He is fun, but serious at the same time, a business major. His family says he has always been a 40 year old in a boy’s body. Lol.

He is confident and determined and is stable. I am outgoing and funny and care free. Kind of opposites, but I have seen his outgoing side and he has always been my rock.

Welllll, we were still not living together, but at our 7 year mark he decided that someone else had caught his attention and that he wanted to pursue this person.

He broke up with me and I was devastated to say the least, but in his defense he was completely up front and honest about it the whole time and 2 weeks went by of him in this limbo of does he want me, or does he want her.

Finally, I chose for him. I left for good.Continue Reading

Could He Be A Sociopath?

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A woman holds her head in her hands wondering if her boyfriend is a sociopath.
Why did I let myself be manipulated?

Our gorgeous friend, Nancy, is seriously wondering if the guy she was dating is actually a sociopath. Read her story and let us know what you think.

Her story:

Hi Jane!

I stumbled upon your website by chance, after googling questions that I needed answers to after having suffered at the hands of someone I think may be a sociopath.

It's really frustrating when you have to use google as a tool to get answers because the person who you initially trusted won't give them to you straight. Desperation kicks in and you find yourself typing out anything and everything to help soothe your thoughts.

I will try to keep this as short as possible.

Back in the summer, I met a guy who I thought seemed nice and outgoing. I felt attracted to him, but then after he added me on facebook, my gut instinct told me something was off- his fb consisted of a friend list of all women.

I asked him why that was and he told me it was for girls he met bc he had deleted his real facebook. I'm not a stupid person, of course my alarm bells were going off but I also am the kind of person who wants to give people the benefit of the doubt...or maybe I was stupid when it came to him.

Right off the bat he told me how pretty he thought I was, and I am someone he would marry. Again, I thought it was too soon to make such an assumption, but I thought maybe he was just playing.Continue Reading

I Feel Like I've Been Lied To

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A woman is upset talking on her cell phone.
I'm just honestly so hurt...

Our beautiful friend, who has chosen to remain anonymous (I've called her "Hurt"), feels like she's been lied to by the man she was dating.

Here's her story:

Last year around this time I started "talking" to a guy that had been my friend for the past 7 years. I knew him because he was friends with a guy who I previously "talked to" but ultimately nothing manifested between me and his friend and to be completely honest his friend was a terrible person with no real good intentions for me.

So after years of flirting we started to actually act on our feelings and started doing relationship things.

Always going out, spending quality time with each other, meeting family and friends. Everything that a couple would do.

And the moment that I felt was a serious "we must be heading towards a relationship" moment is when he confronted his friend like and man and told him what was going on between us. To make a long story short their friendship ended because of this.

Everything would go well then around the end of the summer I started to see signs that something was going on. Something was off about him.Continue Reading

I Can't Let Go and I Can't Stay...

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A street sign showing should I stay on one sign and should i go on the other.
Why am I so confused? What did I do wrong?

Our gorgeous reader, who has called herself "So Stuck", is exactly that ... so stuck. She just doesn't know what to do.

Here's her email:

Hi Jane,

First of all, thank you for your website, it has helped me in so many ways... This community you've created is making me see I'm not alone, thank you!

I need your help, I'm stuck...

I've met this man 15 years ago, we became friends. He had a girlfriend at the time and he married her, they were married for about 15 years and separated last year.

They got divorced around the same time we started talking again.

We started going out and it was perfect... For about 6 months... For the next 6 months my life became pure anxiety until he broke it off - we were together for a year.

We were planning to live together, get married, have children... the whole package. We wanted the same things. I couldn't be happier.

I've never met his family.Continue Reading

There's A Reason

57 Comments

A woman sits on a couch writing on her laptop, looking for dating advice.
When you reach out to me, there’s a reason - even if you don't know it yet.

Last Friday’s post generated a lot of valuable conversations! I want to thank each and every one of you for having the courage to speak up and say what it brought up for you. Now you have something more to work with that you didn't have before!

What did I mean about the difference between following someone else’s advice or particular rules, and making them one’s own? Why was there so much confusion about this vagueness, and why is it actually a very good thing?

Well, let me first back up.

When you reach out to me, there’s a reason. You know there’s something you need, and even though you don’t know what that is, you sense you’re close to an answer and just need that personal response to get it.Continue Reading

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