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Are You Asking for Too Much?

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Unhappy couple after fight not talking to each other
It’s not that you’re asking for too much, it’s who you’re asking it of.

It's a question I hear from so many of you: Am I asking for too much?

I need you to think about this one, because if we're ever going to stop taking this out on ourselves, we have to separate the two.

It’s not that you’re asking for too much. Oh you’re not!

For someone who’s on the same page as you, who’s ready for a real committed relationship and knows that’s exactly what he wants and nothing less, what you’re asking for is entirely reasonable and doesn’t need to be defended or explained to anyone!

But if we’re talking about someone who for all he may say he’s ready for a relationship but doesn’t show you with his real life actions that he actually is, then you're going to feel like you’re asking for too much for a very good reason.

And this reason is because there’s a disconnect between the two of you.Continue Reading

The Irony: Why the Ones Who Can’t Commit Choose You

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Definition of word irony in dictionary
Why is it that the ones who won't commit keep choosing us?

It makes no sense to you.

It can’t.

How can the very ones who can’t commit keep on choosing you? No matter how much you’re drawn to them, no matter how many times you keep finding yourself attracted to them, there’s another side to this.

He chooses you.

Why?

Because of the way you love. Because of the hope you give him. Because of exactly who you are.

This man you’re trying so hard to get a commitment out of, to prove why he should pick you, is exactly the man who needs you.Continue Reading

What Do I Do About His Commitment Issues?

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A beautiful woman is upset with her boyfriend over his commitment issues.
I want to settle down but he has commitment issues.

One of our beautiful readers, Charlotte, is at a loss to know what to do about her boyfriend's commitment issues. I know so many of you have similarly faced this in your own relationships, or are going through this now. I've given my response below, but I know she'd love to have your take on her situation as well.

Her Letter:

Hi Jane,

Due to your experience in the matter I thought that maybe you can help.

I have been together with my boyfriend for five years. We have had our share of troubles, but are still together. On an everyday basis he is nice to me - giving me massages, taking care for me etc.

However, whenever we talk about the future, he becomes indefinite. He keeps putting off having a family or marrying.Continue Reading

I'm Afraid He'll Keep Making Excuses and Never Commit

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Couple not talking after a fight on the sofa in living room at home
I'm afraid he'll keep making excuses and won't ever commit!

One of our gorgeous new readers, Beverley, tells us her story about her long term boyfriend first wanting to move in together, but then changing his mind and pulling away. She's wondering if he'll ever commit.

Her Question:

Hi Jane,

I have stumbled across your page by chance but is extremely relevant to where I'm at in my relationship at the moment.

I just read "3 Biggest Warning Signs He'll NEVER Commit" and I'm worried. I have been with my boyfriend for coming up on 3 years now.  I am 27 and he is 25. I am a little confused as to where to start with my concerns as there are a number of mitigating factors in what has gotten us to where we are (that being nowhere).Continue Reading

Is He Just a Player?

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Woman upset at her crush with other girl on a sunny day
I really feel like I was played.

This week, I'm answering a letter from one of our gorgeous readers, who has chosen to call herself "Pieces of Me" (which I've shortened to Pieces). She feels like the guy she's been with for 6 years has only been playing her, with no intention of any real commitment.

Here's her story:

Jane, why is it so hard for me to let this guy go? Clearly he has moved on with his life... :((

This has been an on again off again somewhat relationship for the past 6 years. We met on a social dating site and the way he pursued me caught my attention because he seemed confident and consistent.

Soon after we officially met in person we instantly hit it off, but shortly after we became "official" the communication began to dwindle. I would bring it to his attention and because of our work schedules and me having kids it began to make it hard.

He never took me out all we ever did was hang out at his house, he always had an issue with money and he didn't have a car but I understood and really didn't make a big deal out of it, but after a while I began to feel insecure like did he really love me the way he said he did? Was he ashamed to be seen with me in public?Continue Reading

The ONE Thing A Man Who Can’t Commit NEEDS You to Do

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slender long-haired woman wearing white summer dress while walking on a green meadow towards a bright and sunny horizon.
There's only one thing you have to do.

You know this kind of man all too well.

He’s pulling away, he’s slowing down, he’s changing.

You’re here for one reason and one reason only: to find out how to get him back.

You want to turn back the clock, make him change back to everything you want him to be.

How do I change him back? How do I make him want what he said he wanted before? These are your questions. It's the answers you want with all your heart to know. But what if we didn't need to make it so complicated? What if it was right there in front of you?Continue Reading

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