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Is He Really a Bad Texter or Am I Just There to Fill in His Lonely Time?

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Close up of womans hand using mobile phone on a bokeh background, symbolizing that her boyfriend doesn't text her.
Why doesn't he want to text me?

Our letter this week comes from one of my readers who's not sure what to make of her new "boyfriend", or if he's even her boyfriend. Sound familiar? Read on to hear more of her story and my response ...

Here's her story:

Hi Jane,

So I’ve met this guy via an online app around 1.5 months ago and we’ve been seeing each other ever since then (once or twice a week during the weekends).

We haven’t had the "define the relationship" talk yet but there was one time he called himself “boyfriend” (first few dates) but I only realized it a few days after as I wasn’t really concentrating at that moment.

One time, he also told me how lucky he is to have me as his girlfriend but I did not question him because it was already a late night and I was exhausted so I decided to let it go.

I have been thinking of bringing this relationship talk up but I’m worried he might feel pressured about it so I am just giving us a little bit more time. I am also questioning as to why he would just assume I became his girlfriend before asking me or having the talk.Continue Reading

He Never Messages Me or Starts the Conversation

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A beautiful woman lies in bed looking at her cell phone, wondering why he disappeared and won't answer her texts.
He only talks to me when we're together, in person.

Our letter this week comes from beautiful Dawn, who says her boyfriend doesn't want to call or text her.

Here's her letter:

Jane,

So my boyfriend will talk to me in person but never messages me or starts the conversation, and when I dont text him he get worried, but he says he doesn't like talking on the phone or texting.

And when I want to plan something with him I can never get a hold of him long enough to ask what we should do together - I mostly get hung up on in the first minute of talking, or he puts himself on mute so I can't hear him.Continue Reading

Ugh! I've Been Ghosted Again

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A beautiful woman looks at her phone feeling confused over whether she should choose commitment or chemistry.
For the life of me, I don't know what happened.

Ever been ghosted? I talk to so many of you who have! Our letter this week comes from one of our beautiful subscribers, Kim, who has, too, and I know you'll identify with so much of what she's going through.

Here's what she wrote to me:

Hi Jane,

I am at my wits end! I truly feel like I may never find a decent man. I have been ghosted again. I thought he was different. We had gone out 3 times and talked or texted every day for about a month.

He is a single dad of 2 and he was very open about the challenges that might create. I was willing to work with it because he seemed so sincere and everything was there between us that I thought needed to be.

I did notice that we were not talking as much a couple of weeks in, more texting. He had a big project at work and was working long hours etc. He started sharing less and of course I thought it was me overanalyzing but I knew something was different.

My father left and pretty much never looked back so I know I have abandonment and trust issues. I try very hard not to let those fears and hurts dictate my actions when dating.Continue Reading

Help! I've Tried Talking to Him but He Still Does the Same Thing

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Couple not talking after a fight on the sofa in living room at home
I've tried talking to him about my concerns but in vain

Our letter this week comes from beautiful Maureen. For all her attempts to address her concerns with her relationship, nothing has changed.

Here's what she wrote ...

I have been with this guy for quite some time. At first, we would meet up as often as possible - like twice in a week - but now not so often because we are both busy and I only get to see him once every two weeks.

The major concern is that he never communicates even if it's a good morning or calling in the evening to know how my day was. It seems like a task for him. He rarely initiates conversations unless I do or tells me he loves me unless I do.

He would go for days without texting me or even calling even if it's for a few minutes just checking up on me unless I do myself. Yet when he does,after days several days, he acts like we are okay.

At times he leaves me on read on whatsapp and yet he is online on several occasions.

I have tried talking to him about my concerns and he still does the same thing.Continue Reading

I Never Hear From Him Unless I Text

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Woman text messaging on her phone
We texted every day, then suddenly he went quiet.

This week, we’re hearing from one of our beautiful readers who's asked to remain anonymous. I'll call her Traci - she's reaching out for some help to see what she knows is true.

Here's her question:

Hi Jane,

I read a similar story on your website - I think I need someone to help me decide!

I have been talking to this guy since early Feb of this year, we have been planning to meet up, on one occasion he had to cancel and on two occasions I have cancelled.

We text everyday and it's lovely to speak to someone. We have arranged a date and both talking about how we're really excited to see each other!

Then suddenly, he goes quiet - no reason or explanation. Now, I never hear from him unless I message and sometime he will talk for a bit and then go quiet.Continue Reading

I Don't Know if I'm in a Relationship With Him or Not

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A beautiful woman leans her head against a tree, looking unsure.
I don't even know if I can call this a relationship.

One of our gorgeous readers, Nate, is questioning the relationship she's in.

Here's her story:

I've been in  a relationship with a man for almost 3 months now.

He doesn't text or call, I'm always the one initiating communication. I spoke to him about it and he said that he's not a text or call person, the only person he calls is his grandma.

This guy is a graphic designer and always active online, twitter and Instagram but never checks up on me. When I do, he takes forever to reply to it.

He tried to call after my discussion with him but here's another issue, his call is always very official - like how are you and have a good day.

The only time he said something nice is when we are having sex or making out, those are the times he says he loves me.Continue Reading

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