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Help! I've Tried Talking to Him but He Still Does the Same Thing

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Couple not talking after a fight on the sofa in living room at home
I've tried talking to him about my concerns but in vain

Our letter this week comes from beautiful Maureen. For all her attempts to address her concerns with her relationship, nothing has changed.

Here's what she wrote ...

I have been with this guy for quite some time. At first, we would meet up as often as possible - like twice in a week - but now not so often because we are both busy and I only get to see him once every two weeks.

The major concern is that he never communicates even if it's a good morning or calling in the evening to know how my day was. It seems like a task for him. He rarely initiates conversations unless I do or tells me he loves me unless I do.

He would go for days without texting me or even calling even if it's for a few minutes just checking up on me unless I do myself. Yet when he does,after days several days, he acts like we are okay.

At times he leaves me on read on whatsapp and yet he is online on several occasions.

I have tried talking to him about my concerns and he still does the same thing.Continue Reading

Suddenly No Response!

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A beautiful woman is sitting On Couch At Home anxiously looking at her phone wondering why he hasn't responded.
I can't believe I'm feeling so bad about this.

It was Julia's letter that showed up in my inbox the other day, and like so many of you, she found reassurance in knowing she wasn't alone in dealing with her current heartbreak; dealing with a guy who once was at first so responsive, now not responding at all.

Here's her story.

Hi Jane,

I came across this website so thought I'd try to find some reassurance here.

I've been divorced for a short time after a long marriage. I reunited with an old boyfriend I hadn't seen since my early twenties. We got along so well, like we'd been together for years.

I've always believed that we were made for each other.

He lives interstate but we kept in touch; he's also divorced and was making plans to come see me.Continue Reading

Why Didn't He Ask for a Second Date When It Seemed to Go So Well?

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A beautiful woman is sipping coffee while talking with a man over lunch, wondering why she's not getting what she wants in a relationship.
It seemed like it went really well - I don't get it!

One of my group coaching clients inspired this post (thank you - you know who you are!)

I mean, really, who of us hasn’t been on a great first date with a guy giving all the good vibes, thinking there are going to be so many more down the road, only to be left with that awkwardness when he doesn’t say anything at the end of the date?

All too familiar, right?

So let’s break that down. Why DOESN’T he make sure he’s on your calendar again before he says goodbye? Is it because he’s not interested? Did he not have as good a time as he seemed to? What’s really going on behind the scenes?

First of all, we’ve got a culture that has a whole lot of unwritten rules that influence our men in general, especially when it comes to planning next dates.Continue Reading

He Said He'd Call, But He Didn't

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A woman looks at her phone wondering why her boyfriend hasn't called.
Should I reach out to him?

Beautiful Jude writes about the situation she's in, wondering why he hasn't called when he said he would, and I know so many of us can relate to this one!

Here's her email:

He said he'd call yesterday, but didn't. Why does this make me feel so needy?

Why don't I just contact him? It's been going well so far.

So afraid of being vulnerable and of finding out he's not as committed as I hoped. And that I'll then put up with it...

How do I approach this without sounding like a lunatic and without compromising myself? Is it OK to say "I was expecting to hear from you; is all OK?"

Then how do I trust his answer... Oh dear!Continue Reading

I Don't Know if I'm in a Relationship With Him or Not

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A beautiful woman leans her head against a tree, looking unsure.
I don't even know if I can call this a relationship.

One of our gorgeous readers, Nate, is questioning the relationship she's in.

Here's her story:

I've been in  a relationship with a man for almost 3 months now.

He doesn't text or call, I'm always the one initiating communication. I spoke to him about it and he said that he's not a text or call person, the only person he calls is his grandma.

This guy is a graphic designer and always active online, twitter and Instagram but never checks up on me. When I do, he takes forever to reply to it.

He tried to call after my discussion with him but here's another issue, his call is always very official - like how are you and have a good day.

The only time he said something nice is when we are having sex or making out, those are the times he says he loves me.Continue Reading

Should I Call it Quits or Keep Trying?

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Street sign showing direction for should I stay or should I go.
Should I ask him what is going on, or just move on?

Our letter this week comes from beautiful Gail. She's seeing the signs of the slowly disappearing man, but she's not quite ready to let go and she's wondering if she should keep trying to work it out.

Here's what she wrote:

Hi Jane - I love your blog and have gained much insight from it - but I am still stuck with this particular dating dilemma, which I know is a fairly common one.

I have been online dating with a guy for around 4 months (we live about 7 hours car drive from each other) - I am 52, he is 56.  We hit it off right from the start and he was very romantic, telling me how he was falling for me big time, could imagine us spending our lives together, etc!

I really liked him and felt this might be the lucky charm (after several bad experiences).

He said he was really busy with his business in the run up to the end of the year, but he would make time soon to come and see me.  (Sorry, but I was not going to offer to go and visit him, I do feel that should come from him, first.)

Well, you can probably imagine what has happened.Continue Reading

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