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Should I Hang On or Let Go?

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Close up of hands of romantic couple holding together loosely with sun rays on a white sky.
I don't know whether to keep hanging on or just let him go.

One of our gorgeous readers, Holly, is currently going through what so many of us have gone through before. Things were going so well but now her boyfriend has changed and he's getting distant. She's wondering if she should hang on, or just let go.

Here's what she wrote:

Hi Jane,

I've been with my boyfriend for a year now.

I moved in with him soon after we met, we were having a great time and I was so happy. We were always together and out doing fun things all the time, out for meals, visiting family together, taking trips on holiday, planning ahead.

He told me how much I meant to him, how great I was, and we were so in love.

However, I feel things have turned for the worst recently - as the relationship towards the end of the year we began to argue a lot in the house and he began to get upset living with me.Continue Reading

Should I Call it Quits or Keep Trying?

7 Comments

Street sign showing direction for should I stay or should I go.
Should I ask him what is going on, or just move on?

Our letter this week comes from beautiful Gail. She's seeing the signs of the slowly disappearing man, but she's not quite ready to let go and she's wondering if she should keep trying to work it out.

Here's what she wrote:

Hi Jane - I love your blog and have gained much insight from it - but I am still stuck with this particular dating dilemma, which I know is a fairly common one.

I have been online dating with a guy for around 4 months (we live about 7 hours car drive from each other) - I am 52, he is 56.  We hit it off right from the start and he was very romantic, telling me how he was falling for me big time, could imagine us spending our lives together, etc!

I really liked him and felt this might be the lucky charm (after several bad experiences).

He said he was really busy with his business in the run up to the end of the year, but he would make time soon to come and see me.  (Sorry, but I was not going to offer to go and visit him, I do feel that should come from him, first.)

Well, you can probably imagine what has happened.Continue Reading

Will It Ever Work Out?

31 Comments

A beautiful woman sits on a bench, looking discouraged, wondering if it will ever work out.
I don't want to be in a relationship with anyone else.

Beautiful Katie has been dating a guy who's suddenly gotten very hot and cold on her. He says he doesn't want a serious relationship, and now she's wondering if it will ever work out.

Here's Her Story:

So a while ago I started seeing this guy and things were pretty good.

I had been talking to him for a while before that and we had a lot in common. When we finally met up in person it was like I had finally found someone who understood me. He was extremely nice and polite and sweet - all qualities I never knew I wanted.

I was always reading a lot into the relationship though. I hate not knowing how other people feel about me.

We went on two dates and the second one went similarly, where we got along amazingly, better than I had with anyone else, and it felt really right. He made me extremely happy.

From the beginning I was worried that he wasn't as into me as I was in him because he didn't kiss me on the first date, but then he did on the second one. We were talking almost every day after that and would have long conversations about what we wanted in life, we have very similar wants for our futures.

On top of that we have a lot in common. A lot.

It feels like we're reading each other’s minds sometimes. I got into a bad car accident after our second date and things kinda spiraled from there. I was really depressed and needed someone to be there for me in a way that was kind of asking too much of him since we weren't that serious and I got disappointed.

He was there for me but I wanted some stupid gesture like showing up at the hospital or coming to see me to make sure I was okay. That didn't happen but things were still going pretty well and he was there for me for a lot of it.

Then he stopped texting me back.Continue Reading

Things Were Going So Well - Then He Disappeared!

28 Comments

Woman-looking-at-phone-wondering-why-he-suddenly-disappeared
Why is he completely ignoring me?

Our letter this week comes from one of our sweet readers, who has chosen to call herself "Confused and in Love (I'll just call her "Love"). Her boyfriend has suddenly stopped answering all calls, emails and texts - he's basically disappeared on her.

Her email:

Hi, I was hoping you could provide me some advice.

I’ve been in a relationship with my boyfriend for over 8 months. He's a great guy and always is considerate and thoughtful of me and my feelings.

The past 8 months have been fantastic, maybe some very minor bouts of miscommunication (less than what I could list on one hand) but other than that great.

He recently (less than a month ago) got a new job that he is very excited and nervous about (it’s his dream job and he wants to excel at it). Since getting this new job he’s been a bit stressed and less present in the relationship, he was still putting effort into the relationship but not as much as before.Continue Reading

9 Years, 1 Dog, 1 House... No Ring

18 Comments

A woman holds her dogs head close, showing affection.
Could this really be the end?

Our beautiful friend, who has signed herself "Confusing Journey", has been on quite the journey indeed. She's wondering if he'll ever propose, or if this should really be the end. Read on for her story...

Here's her letter:

I have been with my boyfriend for 9 years. We met when we were 17 and 19.

We have had a great relationship, with some hiccups a long the way, him leaving, back together, me leaving... back together. The longest we ever separated for is 3 weeks though.

All of those issues occurred early in our relationship when we both were so young and we always worked through the issues. He is fun, but serious at the same time, a business major. His family says he has always been a 40 year old in a boy’s body. Lol.

He is confident and determined and is stable. I am outgoing and funny and care free. Kind of opposites, but I have seen his outgoing side and he has always been my rock.

Welllll, we were still not living together, but at our 7 year mark he decided that someone else had caught his attention and that he wanted to pursue this person.

He broke up with me and I was devastated to say the least, but in his defense he was completely up front and honest about it the whole time and 2 weeks went by of him in this limbo of does he want me, or does he want her.

Finally, I chose for him. I left for good.Continue Reading

I Feel Like I've Been Lied To

33 Comments

A woman is upset talking on her cell phone.
I'm just honestly so hurt...

Our beautiful friend, who has chosen to remain anonymous (I've called her "Hurt"), feels like she's been lied to by the man she was dating.

Here's her story:

Last year around this time I started "talking" to a guy that had been my friend for the past 7 years. I knew him because he was friends with a guy who I previously "talked to" but ultimately nothing manifested between me and his friend and to be completely honest his friend was a terrible person with no real good intentions for me.

So after years of flirting we started to actually act on our feelings and started doing relationship things.

Always going out, spending quality time with each other, meeting family and friends. Everything that a couple would do.

And the moment that I felt was a serious "we must be heading towards a relationship" moment is when he confronted his friend like and man and told him what was going on between us. To make a long story short their friendship ended because of this.

Everything would go well then around the end of the summer I started to see signs that something was going on. Something was off about him.Continue Reading

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