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Will He Ever Change His Mind?

One of our beautiful readers, who has chosen to remain anonymous, was in a friends with benefits situation and is wondering if he will ever come around and want a committed relationship with her.

Here's her story:

Last year I moved into University halls, and basically fell almost instantly in love with one of my flatmates. He was in a long-term relationship at the time, but we got on really well and hung out a lot.

A few months into the term he separated from his girlfriend, and me and him got even closer and after a few months ended up becoming friends with benefits for about 4 months, however we basically acted like a couple, then all of a sudden he stopped things, saying he wasn't over his last relationship.

I was devastated and tried everything to get over him, but I don't think I ever stopped loving him.Continue Reading

Trying to Move On From a Man Who Won't Commit

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One of our gorgeous readers, Angel, is trying to move on from a relationship with a man who won't commit.

Here's her email:

Hi Jane,

I've been reading a lot of your blog posts for few days now, some of them I read few times too. Here's my situation that got me all confused:

I am a single mother of 2 teenagers and I am having a Long Distance Relationship with this guy from another country for 11 years now. He's working in my country on a flying in and out basis. I only saw him when he was on his way in or out from where he works (in another island).

I know this was not ideal, but we were so clicked and compatible for each other. We could talk about anything, shared so many similar interests and hobbies, basically it's a perfect relationship except that he doesn't want to have a commitment.

He said that to me 3 years since we started the relationship, and caught me by surprised.Continue Reading

Will I Ever Find Someone Else?

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Our gorgeous friend, who calls herself "Looking for Hope", has recently walked away from a really bad relationship and is worried that she might not find anyone else. (Sound familiar?)

Here's her email:

Dear Jane,

About 6 months ago I walked away from a really bad relationship.

We were together for 5 years and engaged for 2.5 years of that time. After he proposed, he refused to set a wedding date and made up every excuse in the book like “He wasn't ready,” "we needed to save more money", or “he wanted to get to know me more.”

I drove myself crazy blaming myself for his lack of commitment and in order to put us in a better financial position I dedicated myself to paying off all of my student loans and investing in savings.

Once we got engaged, he became a workaholic where his career was his number 1 priority and starting a family or having a relationship with me was always on the back burner! I did and tried EVERYTHING, until one day it hit me that this had nothing to do with me and it had everything to do with him and his inner issues.

So, I told him that this wasn't fair anymore that I was ready for the rest of my life whether it was with or without him, that whenever I agreed to getting engaged to him we made plans of prioritizing each other and a future family and now his work was becoming the center of his life and that was not a life that I had agreed to.

It was time for him to decide what road to take, a marriage with me or the career that would make him millions of dollars.Continue Reading

I Know I Need to Let Go, But I Can't!

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a beautiful woman is holding her head with her hands because she feels like she's going insane over her boyfriend that won't commit. — After 4 years of this, I feel like I'm going INSANE!

One of our beautiful readers, who has chosen to remain anonymous, is in a toxic relationship with a bad boy that she knows is no good for her, but she can't let go.

Here's her story:

Hi Jane.

I really don't know what to do anymore - I have been holding on to this problem for 4 years now and I'm getting INSANE!

It all started 4 years ago when I was 18 years old - I met this boy who became my boyfriend.

We went to the same high school, and I was looking at him for 3 years before he noticed me and came over to talk. Few months later we were boyfriend and girlfriend. He was my first real boyfriend and I was so in love with him.

I can't even describe it - but I'm sure you know it feels.Continue Reading

The Truth About Happily Ever After

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And they lived happily ever after — But what did that look like?

You know that dream you have of happily ever after?

Well, I have some good news for you: There really is a happily ever after. It exists.

It’s just different from the book and movie versions we all grew up with.

The ones in the stories read aloud to us as children and the versions based on the same themes we later watched on television and in movie theaters as we grew older. Whatever the particular story, they all had the same ending we would come to expect and look forward to: the one that ended with the prince sweeping the damsel in distress off her feet and the final words, whether they were spoken or simply implied, "… and they lived happily ever after".

It wasn't until much later in life that I began to wonder, "How?"

Because after so many failed attempts at my own version of these same fairy tales that seemed so elusive to me, it became the question I so desperately wanted to know the answer to. "What happened next?"

But of course, that’s where the story always ended and we never heard what really happened after they got together. After the glow of the initial attraction was no longer the only thing each other saw, and the real story played out.

His Side of the Story

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“I've never treated anyone as bad as I treated you, Jane. I just wasn't there but I didn't know how to communicate this to you.”

It was the other side of the story, the one I never heard before.

But now, with a new life and a new, more confident me, I had sought out the guy who had broken my heart just a few years earlier to see if he would meet up with me when I was back in town.

He agreed to, and we did, although if I was honest with myself, I was looking for more than just an explanation. I also wanted to see what might still be there now that time and distance was now between us and I was finally feeling confident on my own.

You know, that “let him see me now with how much I've changed and see if what couldn't be back then, might be possible be now” kind of story we all want to see.

And so over pasta in a hip little restaurant in the trendy West end of my hometown Vancouver, I asked him what I never had the courage to ask when I found myself sick over our relationship a few short years ago: “Why?”

He didn't know.

He couldn't answer me.

Except to say that he knew he had never treated anyone as badly as me – as badly as I knew in my heart I had allowed him to treat me.

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Will He Ever Change His Mind?

Here's her story:

Trying to Move On From a Man Who Won't Commit

Here's her email:

Will I Ever Find Someone Else?

Here's her email:

I Know I Need to Let Go, But I Can't!

Here's her story:

The Truth About Happily Ever After

His Side of the Story

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