Getting to TRUE Love

Finding your YOU that leads to TWO

You are here: Home / Archives for being alone

Am I the Problem?

2 Comments

Beautiful woman sitting on the beach, sad because of her breakup, wants to get her boyfriend back.
I must be the issue because it can't be everyone else.

I get a ton of emails but sometimes there are ones that cut right through to my heart. This one was one of them.

I read it through twice and caught my breath. How many times had I whispered exactly the same thing? How many women do I talk to who ask me the same thing?

Jane, she began, I wanted to see if I might have one (or any) email consults left with you or if not can I please buy one? 🙂

I have recently found out I'm likely on the spectrum which explains a few things but I'm really struggling with my family dynamics and feel a bit like I'm too messed up to even be friends with anyone let alone be in a relationship (which I've pretty much given up on).

I feel like I keep getting backed into corners and my health is in decline.

I have become very much a recluse and avoid seeing people because I'm either too unwell or feel like it's a waste of time because I will be rejected sooner or later (because I'm not good company - I really understand that) and it's just too painful to do it anymore so I just stay on my own.Continue Reading

Her subject line read "Hurt and Lonely"

3 Comments

A beautiful woman with her face in her hands because her self esteem is so low.
I keep myself busy, but it hurts so bad.

Our letter today comes from Penny, who got my attention with her subject like that read "Hurt and Lonely." My heart went out to her as I read her story.

Read what she wrote to me - and my response - below. Then you can tell her what you want her to know in the comments there, too.

Her Letter:

Hi Jane,

I have four grown children, just over a year apart. The 50 yr. old is the oldest. I ended up raising them alone, since the oldest was 10 yrs. old.

I had to work two full time jobs, as my ex didn't pay child support.

They all turned out good. No troubles with them. My daughter and I were especially close for years, me babysitting, etc., but then I was working full-time and also went to college at 55 yrs. old and she got a job. She has a husband and two kids, I am alone.

We had an argument in 2009 when I was under stress from my mother dying, etc. We can't seem to get it straightened out. She wants nothing to do with me and therefore I also don't see my grandchildren, who are in college.

I've asked for forgiveness, but she won't.Continue Reading

This Thanksgiving, Do THIS Instead!

2 Comments

A beautiful woman looks out a window wondering why she is not strong.
It's time to let your feelings be felt.

If you’re being flooded with messages today telling you all the things you should be thankful for, and the LAST thing you feel right now is grateful, I’m here to tell you I see you, I hear you, and I feel every bit of what you’re going through today.

NOT feeling our feelings is the problem with so much of what’s gone wrong in our lives and I’m here to tell you that it’s okay if you don’t feel what everyone’s telling you you’re SUPPOSED to feel today.

It’s easy to feel grateful when you’re warm and cozy in your house with a husband or partner who loves you, surrounded by babies (or fur babies) who make your house feel like a home. It's easy to feel thankful when you’ve got enough money, a secure job, your health, and good friends and relatives who make you feel loved and supported.Continue Reading

Fear ... and Hope

26 Comments

A beautiful woman covers her face with her hands because she is feeling afraid and lonely.
Yes, it can be scary, but know that it will pass.

Yes, it's scary.

Uncertainty. Fear. The Unknown.

There's been an overwhelming theme to all my calls with so many of you this week, and it's a reminder that we're all connected, feeling similar things regardless of where we find ourselves in this world of ours.

Thing have changed with the reality of Covid, the US elections that have brought up so many more feelings for all of us, and yet in the midst of all of what we're feeling and experiencing, life still must somehow go on.

But how?Continue Reading

Not Quite Ready to Let Go and Move On?

8 Comments

A beautiful woman sits on a park bench wondering why she loves him.
You're lonely with him, and you're lonely without him.

I want to be so gentle here with you, because I know exactly how it feels when you're in this situation.

You love this guy. You don't want to just let him go and start your own life.

Sure it feels good to say "I'm leaving him" and hear the cheers from every woman who's gone before you, every woman who's ever made this difficult choice herself, but this was never the way you wanted it.

You never chose this heartbreak, and all you wanted was for him to change back to the way he used to be when you fell in love with him in the first place.

You're lonely without him. You're lonely with him. You don't know which is worse and you're afraid to find out in case you make the wrong choice.

This was always the hardest decision you were ever going to make.Continue Reading

Your Worst Fear

39 Comments

Rear view pensive thoughtful woman sitting on sofa alone, lost in thoughts, upset female having psychological problem, heartbreak, thinking about being alone
Here's why it's not going to happen.

We have to talk about your worst fear. I know you've got many, but this one stands out because it's the one that's hurting you the most.

There's too many of us here hanging onto a guy who's already missed all your checkboxes only because you're afraid you'll never meet anyone else as good as him.

This is the absolute worst reason to put up with what you're putting up with right now!

See, there aren't all these people walking around on this planet right now and no one who could possibly be someone for you.

This is one of the biggest lies we've ever been programmed with; that you have to ignore how badly someone is treating you, that you have to minimize and excuse away all those behaviors that you used to say you'd never tolerate, just to avoid being alone.

No, you're not going to be alone forever!Continue Reading

Latest Tweets

Recent Comments

Calendar

May 2025
M T W T F S S
 1234
567891011
12131415161718
19202122232425
262728293031