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You are here: Home / Archives for 2015

Archives for 2015

It Was Going So Well, Then He Suddenly Became Emotionally Unavailable

33 Comments

A beautiful woman looks at her phone wondering why her boyfriend suddenly became emotionally unavailable and stopped calling or texting.
He suddenly stopped calling or texting.

One of our beautiful readers, Mimi, was in a relationship for over a year with a man who is suddenly getting emotionally distant and emotionally (as well as physically) unavailable.

Here's her story:

Thanks for the opportunity to reach out. I'll be as brief as possible, sacrificing good grammar and punctuation along the way!

I reconnected with a friend of a friend, whom I first met over 20 years ago, a little under two years ago. We first Facebook messaged, getting to know one another.

I am never married, he is divorced with two kids, and we discussed our schooling, work, private lives etc. over messages for about a month. Went from Facebook to using personal emails, he gave me his phone number but I didn't call, just emailed.

Gave him mine finally and he called and we continued with phone conversations and texts. All told we got to know one another quite well through these methods for about 5 months before a face to face meeting. Which was great as it left the physical aspect out of the attraction and it was in very different levels. He lives about 3.5 hrs from me, drove down that first night for dinner, then returned home.

Seeing one another after months of contact was nothing short of wonderful.

That was August 2013, but since he has was in the process of building his own business that is seasonal, he works 7 days a week, so our contact continued to be from afar. He came again in October and soon thereafter said he wanted me to visit him and meet his kids. I did, in November 2013, and from there we saw one another regularly every few weeks.

Though his business was 'out Of season' he still worked at it night and day (he had come from a corporate setting and is very determined and driven and a workaholic to some extent). All seems great, though he is continually overwhelmed and stressed with his business and focuses on it endlessly.

Summer of 2014 fun, early Fall good as we make plans to do things and go places and he excitedly looks forward to the end of his season.Continue Reading

How To Get Over a Broken Heart

38 Comments

A beautiful woman is looking very sad as she is wondering how to get over a breakup.
How do I get past this overwhelming sadness?

In my coaching practice, the question of how to get over a broken heart is one that I hear so often. Unfortunately, it’s a question almost all of us have asked at one time or another of anyone who was willing to listen.

Breakups are not only hard, they can frequently feel like something inside of us had died, and the loss of a relationship can often be just as painful as actually losing a loved one. And it makes sense – this person that you were so intimately involved with, that was such an intertwined part of your life, is suddenly gone, unreachable, untouchable.

Then there’s the self-blame, the resentment, the anger. Even if the breakup was amicable, and you've decided to remain friends (which I generally don’t recommend), it’s impossible to completely erase that feeling of utter loss.

And it really is a loss – a loss of the future that you had pictured with him. A loss of the future family life that you may have imagined. A loss of all of those wonderful times that you so totally believed were coming soon.

I know. I’ve been there too. Too many times to want to remember.

So how do we move on from a devastating breakup? How do we finally repair our shattered hopes, shattered dreams, shattered heart?Continue Reading

Is He a Man-Child?

22 Comments

A beautiful woman sits on a deck feeling frustrated at her boyfriend for acting like a man child.
He disappears at the first sign of any little conflict!

Our beautiful friend, who has called herself "Regretful", is in an on again, off again relationship with a guy that disappears as soon as there is any little conflict.

Here's her story:

Jane,

I have been in a relationship which has been an off again, on again basis. Never any major fights , but any little conflict or misunderstanding and he disappears.

No talking about it. No resolution, no contact from him ever.

It ends up with me doing the crazy messages asking him to at least talk to me and to let me at least explain what happened or what was said or misunderstood. Initially when he would disappear, he would come around but for past year if it happens for what ever reason, it's always me trying to get him to come back and give us another chance.

We always have a wonderful time when we're together and I love him to bits. I grew untrusting of him when we did split up for a 3 months period last year and he was with someone else. I felt maybe he had been in contact with this girl and setting it up before he split from me.

I ran back into his arms when it didn't work out.

This time there was a misunderstanding and he felt offended and hung up on me. It wasn't true what he thought I had said but after my text messages explaining what I actually said he did text back that he was sorry. Since then he will not acknowledge me no matter how hard I try and talk to him.

I'm left angry that we can't have any 'life incident' without this happening.

After a week I said I no longer want to be in a relationship with a Man who can't be around through thick and thin. I don't want to be abandoned every time something happens that he can't deal with. I had told him before that if he just needs space, to let me know and I will give him time but I need to know what is going on.

This time I went to crazy mode and ended it.Continue Reading

Who is he?

115 Comments

A man who is not ready to commit to a relationship is walking away into the foggy distance.
Are you seeing him for who he really is?

Who is this man who holds so much power over you?

Who is he really?

Is he some kind of superhuman? Some kind of god? Some kind of idol?

Someone so amazing, so incredible that he can affect you the way he does?

Look again. A little closer this time. Through the eyes of reality, not of potential.

He’s actually the opposite isn't he? He’s actually very human.

And to anyone else, he isn't really anything special at all. In fact, he’s the one they see so much more clearly than you. They see what he can’t give you. They see how sad you are so often. They see what you put yourself through time and time again in the name of what you always call love, just because you see something in him that they never will.

But you don’t see him that way at all.

The very things that they see and would give them reason to run, you see and it beckons you to come.

He’s the one no one else quite understands the way you do.

He’s the one you feel. He’s the one you sense.Continue Reading

Will I Ever Find Someone Else?

28 Comments

A beautiful woman is sitting on the beach with her hands in a heart shape wondering will I ever find someone else.
Will I ever find the kind of love that I really want?

Our gorgeous friend, who calls herself "Looking for Hope", has recently walked away from a really bad relationship and is worried that she might not find anyone else. (Sound familiar?)

Here's her email:

Dear Jane,

About 6 months ago I walked away from a really bad relationship.

We were together for 5 years and engaged for 2.5 years of that time. After he proposed, he refused to set a wedding date and made up every excuse in the book like “He wasn't ready,” "we needed to save more money", or “he wanted to get to know me more.”

I drove myself crazy blaming myself for his lack of commitment and in order to put us in a better financial position I dedicated myself to paying off all of my student loans and investing in savings.

Once we got engaged, he became a workaholic where his career was his number 1 priority and starting a family or having a relationship with me was always on the back burner! I did and tried EVERYTHING, until one day it hit me that this had nothing to do with me and it had everything to do with him and his inner issues.

So, I told him that this wasn't fair anymore that I was ready for the rest of my life whether it was with or without him, that whenever I agreed to getting engaged to him we made plans of prioritizing each other and a future family and now his work was becoming the center of his life and that was not a life that I had agreed to.

It was time for him to decide what road to take, a marriage with me or the career that would make him millions of dollars.Continue Reading

The One Little Action That Changes Everything

33 Comments

A beautiful woman is questioning her pre-programmed beliefs
It's time to question everything.

Sometimes my inspiration comes in the middle of the night. When I'm awakened for no apparent reason and can't get back to sleep. I used to resist these times as I so value my sleep, but I'm learning to roll with it because I'm finding that some of my best writing comes during these times, when I turn my thoughts to what you most need to hear from me.

How can I reach you? How can I give you more of what you need? These are the questions that come into my mind when I lay down but sleep is not forthcoming.

And this is why I say you never cry alone, because there is someone thinking of you even in the middle of the night, wherever you happen to be and whatever you happen to be going through.

It was on just such a night, as I threw around some words and ideas in my head to see what might become more clear to me, two words appeared that grew into so much more.Continue Reading

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About Jane Garapick

Hi, I'm Jane Garapick. I'm here to provide inspiration, support and empowerment on the journey to true love. I know what it’s like to have a broken heart, a broken dream, and a broken you. And I know for a fact, that your dreams can still come true! Read more...
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