Getting to TRUE Love

Finding your YOU that leads to TWO

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Culture. Power. Love....and You.

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st valentine's day greeting card with candle and hearts
Especially you.

All right, Beautiful. Today’s letter comes from yours truly - me!

With our official self-love day (aka Valentine’s Day) coming up right around the corner, I'm feeling really excited.

I’m so excited about the seismic shifts going on in our culture right now, and how much we’re waking up. Some of us are waking up slowly, and some of us are waking up really, really fast.

Some of us just to want to crawl right back into bed.

Well, if you’re here, I know you're at least starting to wake up.  And I’m also pretty sure you’re a feeler. In the most beautiful sense of the word.

You feel everything - and no, that’s not a fault or a flaw - it’s an asset. A beautiful one, and one that will always have your back.

The conversations we’re starting to have in every part of our society – and especially in the corridors that were previously off limits - absolutely have to happen before anything changes.Continue Reading

What No One Ever Tells You About Real Love

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Close up of man and woman holding hands in the sunset.
It's the part about real love they left out.

I wasn’t real.

They, on the other hand, might have been. But I would never know.

Because until I was able to get real, nothing was real. What I came face to face with was the reality that I didn’t know how to be real. I was too busy trying to be perfect.

Trying to figure out what it was they wanted me to be and then being that. Trying to prove my worthiness, my perfectness, my "perfect girlfriend-ness".

That’s all I knew. And that’s what I thought mattered.

I knew I wanted someone to choose me, to make me feel like something. To give a life to fit into. To give me a world to fit into and a role to play. To give me the instruction sheet on how to do a relationship.

Just tell me what you want me to be and I’ll be it.  Continue Reading

What I Want You To Remember This Holiday Season

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Beautiful woman outdoors in frosty winter park with snowflakes.
If you only remember one thing, make it this.

There's a reason I’m here, doing what I do.

To remind you of what you can’t see from where you are now. To remind you of your power. To remind you of your beauty.

To remind you that the only reason you can’t see what I can see is because you haven’t come to the part yet where you prove yourself wrong.

Because without proof, you can’t believe it. Without proof, it’s the hardest thing to believe what you can’t yet see.

So my message to you today as we go about celebrating the holidays in whatever way you celebrate, is to stop believing what you’ve been believing about yourself every time another holiday season comes around.Continue Reading

Is He The One For Me?

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A happy couple in love embrace outside.
How will I know if he's the one for me?

You want to know. No, you need to know.

Is he The One for me?

I get asked this question all the time. Did I know my husband was the one when we were dating? How long did it take before I knew for sure? And how do you know?

Is it the way he makes you feel?

Is it how he treats you?

Is it how much chemistry there is between you?

Well, I can tell you that when we first met, I didn’t know for sure. In fact, since we met twice (with a year and a half between the first and the second time) I can tell you that the first time I definitely didn’t know for sure.

But was it because of anything to do with him? Or was it more likely because I had learned from my long line of heartbreaking experiences with men that it takes more than a date or two to know for sure if anyone is the one?Continue Reading

Finding Real Love

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Beautiful happy couple in love enjoying embrace of each other and tenderly smiling
It's real love. The kind I always wanted but didn’t quite understand until now.

You’ve asked me what it looks like. You’ve asked me how it happens.

And as much as I try to give you words that I hope will resonate most with you, there is nothing that compares to hearing from someone who was just like you, asking me these same questions.

Someone who wanted nothing more than to know the "what" and the "how" as well.

You met her on the blog about a year and a half ago, when she wrote to me after a devastating breakup, questioning "Will I Ever Find Someone Else?" Now, I have a follow-up letter from her that she wrote to share with our community.

Here's her story:

Dear Jane,

I have been meaning to write you for some time now to update you on my journey.

I’m not sure if you would remember me, but I wrote to you about a year and a half ago, writing under the alias “Looking for Hope"...

I had just ended an engagement with an emotionally unavailable man; I felt so heart-broken from my past and scared for the future, but what I felt the most was confusion. I didn’t know how or why what had happened with my ex-fiancé happened, but deep down I knew there were answers to those questions.

It was your blog and coaching sessions that was the beginning of me peeling away to get to the root of that confusion.Continue Reading

Will It Be Worth It?

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Female hands holding a sand in form of the heart
Oh, it will be!

We don’t want to have to do anything. We just want it to work out.

We do everything we can to prove that we belong, that we’re in the right place, that he’s the right one for us. We play the part, we take on the role, we pour all our time and energy into making this our place.

Except that forcing something that isn’t meant to be forced - that doesn’t want to be forced - never works out in the end.

Because it can’t.

If we were already in the place that we’re going to come to, we’d recognize that we actually don’t want it to, either.Continue Reading

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