I know. It’s that holiday again.
The one where it seems like all of the women in the office are getting a big, gorgeous bouquet of flowers except you. Where you feel like there may as well be a big sign over your desk with an arrow pointing down saying “I don’t have anybody to send me flowers!”
If that sounds more than a little cynical, it’s because I have a very good memory of all the Valentine’s Days I celebrated as a single girl, and I can still recall the dread I felt each year as the day rolled around.
Sure, there were a few years when I actually encountered both the holiday and a boyfriend at the same time – but this was a feat not often repeated. Most of the time it was just me watching from my cubicle as the parade of flower deliveries began finding their way all across the offices of the particular company where I was working at the time.
Always the same assortments of a dozen red roses; maybe with a different vase or a little more or less baby’s breath, but all saying the same thing: “I have someone; I’m not alone”.
Next to Christmas and New Year’s, it was the one holiday that was the hardest to be single.
And that’s why I’m writing about what you can do to make it a little easier on yourself if you’re having a tough time being single around this time of year. Enough about what’s lacking about this day - let’s get on to what’s great about it. And what makes it the best day of all for you.
So this Valentine’s Day, let’s make it all about you!
1. Begin with Celebrating YOU.
Today is your day. You are your very own special Valentine.
No matter what you think of today or what our culture thinks of today, or what anyone else thinks about it, the fact is that it’s a day for celebrating LOVE. So start by celebrating all of the things that you love about yourself.
Make a list of everything that you’ve done, that you’ve created, talents that you have, people that you’ve helped.
This is not a time to be humble – you’re only writing this to yourself, so no one will think you’re bragging. Even if it’s something as simple as “I love to sing in the shower” or “I always remember everyone’s birthdays” or “I take care of my dog”, write it down.
Don’t stop until you’re feeling great about yourself.
2. Give Yourself a Special Gift
Whether it’s the dozen red roses you’re wishing someone would send you, that box of chocolates you love, or the perfect card you imagine your perfect guy giving you, give yourself a special gift that celebrates the uniqueness of you!
The beauty is that you can give yourself exactly what you know you want, so there’s no chance of disappointment.
3. Pamper Yourself
No, it’s not selfish to pamper yourself in an extra special way today – it’s the very least of what you deserve!
So if it’s getting your nails or hair done, spending some time at the spa getting a massage; whatever makes you feel extra special, go ahead and treat yourself.
Remember, today is about YOU!
4. Spend Time with the People You Love
Whether we’re talking about friends or family, old ones or young, whoever it is that you enjoy spending time with that make you feel better just by being nearby, make a point of reaching out to them today, even if it’s just in the form of a phone call.
The point is this is about connecting with people who help you feel good about yourself.
Sometimes it’s all about the company you keep.
5. Write a Love Letter to Yourself
It’s amazing the power words can have on how you feel about yourself.
Imagine what you would say to yourself if you were the man of your dreams who loves you for everything you are and sees you only for your true self. The one who loves you unconditionally in spite of any imperfections that you see in yourself. And even loves you more because of them.
Then write down exactly what he would say in a love letter he wrote to you.
Because one day he will.
6. End the Day with Some Music and Water
I know. It’s the classic “have a warm bath” approach to treating yourself like a queen.
But here's the secret: it really works!
Turn on some beautiful music. You know, the kind that moves you. The kind that stirs your soul.
Then spend some time soaking in a warm bath, complete with some calming fragrant bath salts, and you’ve got the perfect prescription for a beautiful end to a day that’s all about you.
Happy Valentine’s Day. To you.
And while doing these, remember that whatever you want to make of the day, it’s all yours to decide how to spend it. Because regardless of what anyone else says, Valentine’s Day is all about what you make of it. How you choose to celebrate it is entirely up to you.
Because if a guy needs a special day of the year to motivate him to show you how he really feels about you, that’s really not the kind of love we’ve been talking about here. The kind that you truly deserve.
You deserve the kind of love and the kind of guy who shows you how much he loves you and just what he thinks of you every single day of the year – by the way he treats you with kindness, respect and love.
Because real true love, the only kind that you really want, that you truly deserve, is the kind that reveals itself in the day to day living of life together. With its basis in reality, in the real life of two real people who are together because they genuinely love and care for each other and wouldn’t want it any other way.
That’s the kind of love I’m talking about.
Not the surface kind that Valentine’s Day is more often than not all about.
I’ll let you in on a little secret: the women who got the biggest bouquets and the showiest Valentine’s gifts often had relationships with guys who were all about the show, but not about the love. I know because I experienced that side of Valentine’s Day, too.
So remember today, the only kind of love you want in your life is the real thing, and it starts with you.