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An Open Letter to The Women Who Posted "Can't I Even Unpack One box?"

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Beautiful woman sitting on floor surrounded by moving boxes face in her hands crying.
"Can't I even unpack one box?"

To the woman who posted that she thought she was a failure because her therapist is frustrated she can't do the "seemingly innocuous thing that most people have no trouble doing, but that represents lots of trauma to her."

It involved unpacking boxes, she said. "Can't I even unpack one box?"

Girl, there’s nothing wrong with you!

I work with women just like this all the time who were “bad” at therapy, who didn’t get anywhere in their counseling, who have nothing to show for all their years of working on themselves!

There’s nothing wrong with you, there's nothing wrong with your counselor, it’s just we all learn and grow and have our shifts in different ways.

Just like so many of us concluded that we were “bad” at math.

It’s not that there’s some inherent math deficiency in us; it’s that we now know that we don’t all learn the same way! They didn't know that back then, when it was an old, intimidating male teacher repeating the same lesson at our desks that he’d just said up at the board - but this time ending with the ominous question, "You can see that now, right?"

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Don't Do This to Yourself

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A woman rubs her head because she's confused wondering if he's into her or not.
You deserve so much more than this!

You've waited.

You've given him space.

You've waited some more.

You've initiated contact with him when you could wait no longer to understand what is going on. And yet he treats you like it's nothing.

Like you are nothing to him.

He agrees to talk, but can't even confirm this and leaves you hanging.

Let him go. Let it be.

You deserve so much more than this. So much more than him. Yes, he looked at you like that; yes, he gave you all those signs that seemed to say he was in it, too. But for whatever reason, he's not there.

Maybe it's his busy job, maybe it's his past, maybe it's a million other things that you could drive yourself crazy over trying to figure him out.

Don't do this to yourself.Continue Reading

Does It Feel Like It’s Never Enough?

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Beautiful woman looking into a mirror.
I want you try something for me today.

I’m hearing you tonight.

Another disappointment. One more loss. More hopes dashed. And it feels like nothing has changed, and never will.

Where do you go from here?

How do you get back hope when summoning up any kind of hope at all was already too much to ask?Continue Reading

What I Want You To Remember This Holiday Season

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Beautiful woman outdoors in frosty winter park with snowflakes.
If you only remember one thing, make it this.

There's a reason I’m here, doing what I do.

To remind you of what you can’t see from where you are now. To remind you of your power. To remind you of your beauty.

To remind you that the only reason you can’t see what I can see is because you haven’t come to the part yet where you prove yourself wrong.

Because without proof, you can’t believe it. Without proof, it’s the hardest thing to believe what you can’t yet see.

So my message to you today as we go about celebrating the holidays in whatever way you celebrate, is to stop believing what you’ve been believing about yourself every time another holiday season comes around.Continue Reading

It's the Opposite of What We Think

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Beautiful young woman with long hair lying on the grass
What if you could look at it another way?

We look around and we see so much of what our culture calls strength among our friends, our colleagues, our role models, almost everyone it seems. They let things roll off them, they don’t take everything so personally, they walk away without looking back.

They make everything  look so much easier than the way it feels to us.

The way it feels to us.

It’s this part of us that gets the least amount of validation from the world around us and the people who are the least like us. In a world where success is evaluated by the measurable things that have nothing to do with our hearts, it’s no wonder we can feel so wrong, so misplaced, so counter to what we feel so otherwise pressured to be.Continue Reading

Give This Up Instead

32 Comments

 A beautiful woman is frustrated with her head in her hands.
It's taken its toll.

Wow.

I heard you. Loud and clear.

While my last post was intended to remind you of all that you are and all that you have to offer someone worthy of you – instead of comparing yourself to anyone else, I wasn’t prepared for the kind of response it invoked in many of you.

How you’re so long past comparing yourself that you’ve skipped right to the totally given up on… you.

On love. On any him.

Your words brought me back to that long lonely night. The dark night of the soul is how nights like that have been referred to. And that's exactly what it feels like. Those times where everything seems dark, where nothing seems like it’s ever going to change, where God, or the Universe, or whatever you happen to believe in seem to have turned their back on you.Continue Reading

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About Jane Garapick

Hi, I'm Jane Garapick. I'm here to provide inspiration, support and empowerment on the journey to true love. I know what it’s like to have a broken heart, a broken dream, and a broken you. And I know for a fact, that your dreams can still come true! Read more...
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