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I'm Heartbroken - How Do I Move On?

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A beautiful woman lies on her bed looking at her laptop.
I found out he's in a new relationship only a month after we split!

It's always so difficult to move on after a serious heartbreak, even when we know it's the best thing for us to do. Our letter this week comes from our beautiful friend Paulina, whose boyfriend suddenly left her and her son after she asked him about making a commitment.

Here's her story:

Hi Jane ,

I broke up with my boyfriend of over three and a half years about 7 months ago and I just can't seem to move on.

He basically was literally part time living with me and my 12 year old son who he bonded with over the years and we were both incredibly hurt when he left.

We broke up because I kept asking when we were going to move the relationship on and he kept avoiding my questions even though he was living with me and my son for 5 days a week. We had a heart to heart the day after Valentines day and I told him to leave and think about what he wants.Continue Reading

Should I Stay Or Should I Go?

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A signpost reading "undecided" pointing in both directions.
What should I do?

This week our letter comes from a GUY for a change! Yes, one of our handsome male readers! He calls himself "Mr. Indecisive", which should tell you a bit about the story you're about to hear.

Here's his email:

Hi Jane,

I'm a 28 year old male, unfortunately I also have been diagnosed with anxiety...so this hasn't made my issue any easier...

I came across your website and wanted to send you a question I have been struggling on and off with...

I met a woman, a wonderful woman, and we developed a wonderful relationship together over the past 5 months.

Unfortunately big events are coming up which have made me...Mr. indecisive...

She is in the military and brought up about whether she leave the military entirely in Oct. or...she stays in and leaves my state for 4 years and I go with her. Either way, we are discussing engagement rings and this...has...terrified...me since...Continue Reading

Why He Wouldn't Commit…to You

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A beautiful woman leans her head on her hands, sad.
Why does it always seem to end this way?

"I don't have the same feelings for you as I used to".

The dreaded words. The blank look. The shock that what we're hearing could be real. Nothing more to be said, nothing changed by talking and talking and talking about it, until our own words betray the truth.

He's gone.

The aftermath is telling.

Why? That's all we want to know. We blame ourselves, we blame him, we blame the timing, the people, the circumstances we never can control.Continue Reading

Do Nice Guys Really Finish Last?

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A nice guy is holding a gift for his girlfriend.
He's a great guy, but I feel like I'm missing that love that makes you feel alive.

One of our beautiful readers, Kitt, is wondering if she should go for the nice guy, or if she's settling.

Here's her email:

Hi Jane. So glad I found your blog! It has given me great insight. I hope hearing from you can give me guidance. Here goes.

I was with my ex for 4.5 years.

The relationship has its ups and downs but overall one that had me alive and thinking he was the man and only one I would marry. My soulmate. We were so compatible on many levels, great sex and I love being with him.

I have always told him 3 years since I was 30 at the time on whether we would should know to take the next step or not. Of course that was a mistake but I realized he had commitment issues. 3 years came and no next step till I ended things and moved back to NY from CA.

He chased me to NY and proposed.Continue Reading

How Much Time to Allow Before Commitment?

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A beautiful woman is sitting on a beach looking at the ocean, wondering when he'll commit.
How long is reasonable for him to change his mind?

Our gorgeous friend, who has called herself "Undecided" is in a relationship with a man who doesn't want a commitment.

Here's her email:

I have known my male friend for 5 years. We were both separately married but 18 months ago my friend separated from his wife of 12 years and 6 months ago my husband passed away.

We have since then been good friends not just acquaintances.

He is a very understanding warm lovely person. We both have a disability child and both are very similar. So we understand each other.

My friend has been through two marriage breakups and I can understand why he doesn't want to commit as he doesn't want to get hurt again. I'm still getting over my late husband so I can't commit but some day I would like to have that commitment but I have to look after my children first.

I'm giving myself 5 years to get over my bereavement. I'm hoping this will be enough time for him to change his mind.

What do you think?Continue Reading

No commitment? Here's the One Thing You CAN Change About Yourself that WILL Change Him

37 Comments

Silhouette of a woman and man watching the sunset over the ocean.
Change just this one thing, and watch it change everything!

You've tried everything up until now. And nothing seems to be working.

He's feeling pressured, so you back off. He's saying he's confused, so you try to help him sort through his confusion.

You give him more space – on the surface, but in your mind, there's no space between you. He's always on your mind. His last words are always on your heart. Never far away. Always ready to do something, to show him how much he should want to be with you. To try to convince him why the two of you could be the best thing ever.

But there's something you've missed here. It has nothing to do with him, but everything to do with you.Continue Reading

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