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Forbidden Love

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Silhouette of a woman and a man about to kiss, symbolizing love.
I'm making the decision each and every time to see him.

This week, beautiful Maree writes to tell her story of "forbidden love".

Here's what she wrote:

Hi Jane,

I am in a very wierd situation at the moment and the pull is too strong for me to see reality.

I have met an amazing young man 19 years younger...I am 44 he is 25.

I have never felt so at ease so myself so comfortable and connected as I do with him. We haven't had sex but there is a lot of fire and passion when we kiss...so even on a physical level we are deeply attracted.

So now...here is the problem...I feel so ashamed to say it...but I need to share...he is the elder brother of my daughters boyfriend...I know...it is sickly and not done. AND I SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF MYSELF!!!

My daughter means everthing to me!! And yet I am making the decision each and every time to see him...

Please wake me up and slap me out of this!!Continue Reading

How Do I Ask Him How He Feels?

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A man and a woman are having a serious discussion over dinner because she wants to know how he feels about her.
I don't want to come off as clingy!

This week, beautiful Pauli writes to us about her new relationship that's moving along (at least physically) very quickly.

Here's her story:

Good Morning Jane!

I have watched your free video series, and it has helped lessen my relationship anxiety quite a bit already!!

I was very tempted to accept your half price offer on the next series however, I am in a  fairly new relationship, and I am having trouble with how relevant the information may be to my current situation.

Having been married and divorced/separated twice, with both husbands stepping out of the marriage and into affairs, I have wondered on and off if it was something I was doing, but I have realized now, with your help, that these men were not the right ones for me.

So.... my questions so far are in regard to my "new" relationship.

We have been seeing each other for 2 months but he lives a fair distance away, so we have actually only spent 6 days together in person in that 2 months. He does text or call me on the phone every day.

We were brought together by mutual, long time friends who think we would make a great couple. We have a great chemistry, but I wonder if it's too good. I find myself wondering if what we have is mostly sexual in nature on his part.Continue Reading

Should I Choose Commitment Over Chemistry?

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A beautiful woman looks at her phone feeling confused over whether she should choose commitment or chemistry.
I'm so confused! I don't know what to do...

Beautiful Melanie is feeling "dazed and confused" (her words) over whether she should choose commitment or chemistry.

Here's what she wrote:

Hi Jane,

I have been following your program for several months now and read many of your stories. I have followed your advice about an ex-boyfriend (who moved and is now long distance.)

We tried to make things work for the last year as long distance, but he had an issue with being alone and also is going through a divorce for 3 years that is still not final. He has been unable to commit to anything at this point.

We were together for a year, then he had to move for work a year ago. He lives 3 hours away.Continue Reading

Should You Be Dating Multiple Men at the Same Time?

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Pretty woman standing and juggling with red balls representing dating multiple men at one time.
Afraid to juggle more than one guy at a time? Here’s why you should be afraid NOT to!

With every new relationship, we learn. Every time our hearts break, we learn.

I’ll never do that again, we say. I’ll make sure to do this instead. Sound familiar?

I used to think there was something wrong with me because I couldn’t NOT jump in with both feet whenever that intense chemistry kicked in. I used to wonder why I couldn’t be like other women who managed to keep their objectivity and take their time getting to know a new guy without putting all their eggs in one basket.

Because unlike them, I spent way, way too much of my time and energy waiting for him to call, to make plans with me for the weekend.  It was such an anxiety-provoking way to live waiting on him like this, and yet doing anything else - making plans with someone else -seemed like I would be showing him I wasn’t all that interested and he would lose interest in me.

Turns out, the opposite is true. This is now one of the things I would do so differently.Continue Reading

Help! I'm Only Attracted to Emotionally Unavailable Men

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Electric cable with sparks on black background.
I only feel "the spark" with the rascals!

This week our letter comes all the way from Sweden! Our beautiful friend, Micka, has been chasing emotionally unavailable men most of her life, and she's now realizing that she wants to stop going down that path. The problem is that the "nice" guys are not attractive to her.

Here's what she wrote:

Hello Jane. My name is Micka and I am a woman living in Sweden.

I am 56 years of age, probably far older than most of your readers. For the last 17 years, I have been single since divorcing a man after 10 years. I've had some romantic encounters but I do have the same problem as many other women here, I keep falling for emotionally unavailable men.

I know all the reasons why I am drawn to these men and why these complicated relationships makes me rise to the occasion, always ending up in pain and tears. I do believe I had my last relationship of that kind some months ago - last, because it almost killed me and I have sworn to not go there again.Continue Reading

Something Greater than Heartbreak

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The word trust spelled out in letter cubes.
One little word that's so very important.

I’m convinced there’s a lesson in here for us.

That somewhere in the midst of all our heartbreak, all our regrets and beating ourselves up and second guessing what we should have/could have/would have known and done differently with at the time if we possibly could have known better, there’s something greater at stake.

Trust.

That little word. That really, really important word that we automatically assume has to do with him.

But no, this time I’m not.

I’m talking about something ever more important than trusting another human being. I’m talking about trusting ourselves.

The more women I work with, the more people I come into contact with who share their stories with me when I tell them about the mission I’m on to empower women to find the love they deserve, the more convinced I’ve become that what we’re really doing is rediscovering something we’ve long forgotten.Continue Reading

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