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I'm Afraid He'll Keep Making Excuses and Never Commit

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Couple not talking after a fight on the sofa in living room at home
I'm afraid he'll keep making excuses and won't ever commit!

One of our gorgeous new readers, Beverley, tells us her story about her long term boyfriend first wanting to move in together, but then changing his mind and pulling away. She's wondering if he'll ever commit.

Her Question:

Hi Jane,

I have stumbled across your page by chance but is extremely relevant to where I'm at in my relationship at the moment.

I just read "3 Biggest Warning Signs He'll NEVER Commit" and I'm worried. I have been with my boyfriend for coming up on 3 years now.  I am 27 and he is 25. I am a little confused as to where to start with my concerns as there are a number of mitigating factors in what has gotten us to where we are (that being nowhere).Continue Reading

Is He Just a Player?

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Woman upset at her crush with other girl on a sunny day
I really feel like I was played.

This week, I'm answering a letter from one of our gorgeous readers, who has chosen to call herself "Pieces of Me" (which I've shortened to Pieces). She feels like the guy she's been with for 6 years has only been playing her, with no intention of any real commitment.

Here's her story:

Jane, why is it so hard for me to let this guy go? Clearly he has moved on with his life... :((

This has been an on again off again somewhat relationship for the past 6 years. We met on a social dating site and the way he pursued me caught my attention because he seemed confident and consistent.

Soon after we officially met in person we instantly hit it off, but shortly after we became "official" the communication began to dwindle. I would bring it to his attention and because of our work schedules and me having kids it began to make it hard.

He never took me out all we ever did was hang out at his house, he always had an issue with money and he didn't have a car but I understood and really didn't make a big deal out of it, but after a while I began to feel insecure like did he really love me the way he said he did? Was he ashamed to be seen with me in public?Continue Reading

The ONE Thing A Man Who Can’t Commit NEEDS You to Do

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slender long-haired woman wearing white summer dress while walking on a green meadow towards a bright and sunny horizon.
There's only one thing you have to do.

You know this kind of man all too well.

He’s pulling away, he’s slowing down, he’s changing.

You’re here for one reason and one reason only: to find out how to get him back.

You want to turn back the clock, make him change back to everything you want him to be.

How do I change him back? How do I make him want what he said he wanted before? These are your questions. It's the answers you want with all your heart to know. But what if we didn't need to make it so complicated? What if it was right there in front of you?Continue Reading

He Won't Stay and He Won't Go

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A beautiful woman with her face in her hands wonders what to do.
I'm just not sure what to do...

One of our lovely readers, Sunflower, writes to ask if she should move in with boyfriend who says he loves her, but whose actions may tell a different story ...

Here's what she wrote:

I met this guy 12 years ago, he loves me, but he is commitment phobic.

After 5 years, I gave him an ultimatum, knowing it was the wrong thing to do. I told him since other women are calling you it seems to me that you want to have an open relationship, let's do that.

I will date other guys, too.

He said fine, but when he saw me having dinner with someone else he totally changed and got really upset. He called me everyday, wanted me back.

I refused for a month.

One day I gave up. I left a guy with great potential, and went back with him hoping he would change.Continue Reading

Will He Ever Be Capable of Committing to Marriage?

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Will he ever be capable of making a real commitment?
Will he ever be capable of making a real commitment?

Our gorgeous friend, Anita, has written in to tell us about her boyfriend of 4-1/2 years who just doesn't seem to be able to commit to marriage.

Here's her email:

Dear Jane,

I left my live in boyfriend 11 months ago because he seemed to have no plans to ever marry me.

He also refused to communicate at all, by that I mean if I tried to talk to him about anything regarding my feelings or our relationship (which I did very seldom) he would completely ignore me & refuse to answer me, look at me or even acknowledge my presence at all.

This was ALWAYS the response no matter how loving I was he refused to speak or even tell me if we could discuss the issue another time.Continue Reading

Why He Keeps You Hanging On

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A woman walks away from a man with a rose in the foreground, symbolizing a break up.
Why won't he just make a commitment?

You’re perplexed. Puzzled. Utterly Confused.

On the one hand, he says he’s not ready for a commitment. He says he can’t give you what you’re looking for.

But then instead of letting you go, he shows up just enough to keep that hope alive.

Hope in him. Hope in what one day will be him and you. 

You’ve asked me why. You want to know what he’s doing, what his motivation is, and whether you’ve got a chance at things working out with him.

Could he not have meant what he said? Could he just be confused? Could it be that there’s hope for the two of you after all?Continue Reading

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