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This One's for You

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A beautiful woman leans her head against a tree, looking unsure.
They're the words you can hardly dare to breathe. Just saying them make it all too real!

This letter is for you.

The you behind the email that says all you want is to get him back.

The you who writes that you’re in too deep to just let him go even though everyone around you, maybe even including your therapist, tells you it’s time.

The you who gives so many reasons that you can’t imagine living your life without him.

The you who can’t hear anything else that anyone says about the other side of this; you only know your heart is breaking now and he’s the only one who can put it back together. It doesn’t matter how he treats you or how much you know you deserve better.

Better isn’t him.Continue Reading

He's Playing With My Heart

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A beautiful woman sits on a swing looking at the ocean, wondering why he's playing with her heart.
He's playing games with me and it really hurts.

One of our beautiful readers, who has chosen to remain anonymous (I've called her "Hurting"), has been dating a man for 3-1/2 years who has been playing with her heart, but she just can't bring herself to let go.

Here's her story:

Hi Jane:

I would like to start off by saying how much I enjoy receiving your newsletters everyday. Sometimes, when I read them, I feel like you can see right into my current situation.

I have been with a man for 3 1/2 years now (IF you want to call it being with) who has been playing with my heart. For the first year and a half, he made it very clear that I was just a temporary fixture in his life. He did tell me that he couldn't promise anything, and who knew what tomorrow would bring.

But, he would lie to me a lot.Continue Reading

I Just Want It To Be the Way It Was

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A beautiful woman looks in a mirror wanting it to be the way it was.
I put myself out there everyday, only to feel rejected afterwards.

One of our beautiful, sweet readers, who has asked to remain anonymous, has been in a long distance relationship with her boyfriend of a year and a half, and has gone through quite a roller-coaster of difficulties, including cheating.

I've chosen to call her Plumeria, after the beautiful and fragrant flowers that are used to make Hawaiian leis.

Here's her email:

Jane,

My relationship with my boyfriend has been going on for about a year and a half.

We started dating after I got out of a two year relationship the same time that he did, and we kind of gave each other moral support.  He was always someone I was attracted to, and I had admired his relationship, and I think I was the same for him.Continue Reading

Why You're Never EVER Meant to Give Up Hope

60 Comments

A beautiful woman looks at the sky with a rainbow in the distance symbolizing hope.
You're not meant to let go of the hope!

I'm beginning to think no one's ever seen you.

Not for who you really are. Not for all you have to offer.

You've never let the ones who can see you have the chance to see you.

That's what this is really about.

You have no idea.

Really, you don't.

These ones who give you only a fleeting glimpse of yourself, are the same ones that are never capable of being anything more than what works for them. And that's why it's so brief.

Just long enough to give you a taste, and then it's gone.

It's no wonder you're consumed with how to get it back.Continue Reading

Ugh! He Has, Once Again, Completely Disappeared!

18 Comments

A woman has her head in her hands because her boyfriend has disappeared again.
I need to learn how to end this cycle!

One of our dear friends, Kim, has been in a relationship with a guy that keeps on disappearing on her.

Here's her email:

Hi Jane:

I read your article 'Why you're attracting Emotionally Unavailable Men' and it motivated me to take action with your Weekly Love Steps program.

I am well versed in working with steps as I’m in recovery through AA, and have been sober now for 19 months after spending 10 months in limbo relapsing, and trying my best to be a social drinker but thankfully am an alcoholic and believe that today.

It has been an incredible, life changing journey filled with misery and confusion at first and now an entirely new perspective on the world.Continue Reading

Will I Ever Find Someone Else?

28 Comments

A beautiful woman is sitting on the beach with her hands in a heart shape wondering will I ever find someone else.
Will I ever find the kind of love that I really want?

Our gorgeous friend, who calls herself "Looking for Hope", has recently walked away from a really bad relationship and is worried that she might not find anyone else. (Sound familiar?)

Here's her email:

Dear Jane,

About 6 months ago I walked away from a really bad relationship.

We were together for 5 years and engaged for 2.5 years of that time. After he proposed, he refused to set a wedding date and made up every excuse in the book like “He wasn't ready,” "we needed to save more money", or “he wanted to get to know me more.”

I drove myself crazy blaming myself for his lack of commitment and in order to put us in a better financial position I dedicated myself to paying off all of my student loans and investing in savings.

Once we got engaged, he became a workaholic where his career was his number 1 priority and starting a family or having a relationship with me was always on the back burner! I did and tried EVERYTHING, until one day it hit me that this had nothing to do with me and it had everything to do with him and his inner issues.

So, I told him that this wasn't fair anymore that I was ready for the rest of my life whether it was with or without him, that whenever I agreed to getting engaged to him we made plans of prioritizing each other and a future family and now his work was becoming the center of his life and that was not a life that I had agreed to.

It was time for him to decide what road to take, a marriage with me or the career that would make him millions of dollars.Continue Reading

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