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Confused, Hopeless and Ready to Give Up

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A beautiful woman sits on a bench, looking discouraged, wondering if it will ever work out.
I’m getting to the point where I feel like I might as well give up.

One of our beautiful readers, Abbie, writes to tell us about the confusion she's feeling with all the different dating advice out there.

Here's her email:

Dear Jane,

I’m so confused.

There are so many rules out there, I’m having a hard time figuring out what I need to listen to and what I don’t.

I keep working on myself, reading up on what I need to do, but I’m getting to the point where I feel like I might as well give up on ever finding someone because for all the work I do on myself, it never seems to be enough!

Then I end up feeling like there’s something wrong with me because nothing ever works out like it’s supposed to.

Can you help me?

-AbbieContinue Reading

Is He The One For Me?

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A happy couple in love embrace outside.
How will I know if he's the one for me?

You want to know. No, you need to know.

Is he The One for me?

I get asked this question all the time. Did I know my husband was the one when we were dating? How long did it take before I knew for sure? And how do you know?

Is it the way he makes you feel?

Is it how he treats you?

Is it how much chemistry there is between you?

Well, I can tell you that when we first met, I didn’t know for sure. In fact, since we met twice (with a year and a half between the first and the second time) I can tell you that the first time I definitely didn’t know for sure.

But was it because of anything to do with him? Or was it more likely because I had learned from my long line of heartbreaking experiences with men that it takes more than a date or two to know for sure if anyone is the one?Continue Reading

Do What Feels "Light"

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Woman opening curtains in a bedroom letting the light shine on her.
Often it's simply a matter of choosing what feels "light."

I like to think of it like the light.

We can know what we don’t want, what isn’t right for us, by what feels dark, scary. What we’re afraid of.

So if we’re afraid to lose him because we don’t know if there’s anything better out there, that would be the dark.

But then there’s this beautiful place of light that few of us have been told about. It’s where we find what we do want.

It’s like marching for what we want vs. protesting against what we don’t want. There’s a beautiful difference there that happens in the energy you create and put out there.

So when you focus on what you do want instead of what you’re afraid of that you don’t want, you’re in the light. We know if something’s right for us by whether we feel like we’re in the dark or the light.Continue Reading

The Undeniable Power of "Yes"

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A beautiful woman rising up from the grassy field with her hands in the air proclaiming Yes!
There’s a power here you can’t imagine.

When we’ve tried again and again and it still hasn’t worked, when we’re so tired of having to explain why it happened again to the same people we had told this time was different, it’s hard to feel passionate about anything.

And yet this is what love and life asks of us.

Are we sure? Is this what we really want?

There are few actions we can choose to take that will elicit the power of everything around us more than the power of saying “yes.”

Far too often we find ourselves saying “I guess so” or “maybe” out of fear, out of uncertainty or out of our need to know the end result first before diving in.

Our first reaction may be indignation or even anger at even the suggestion that we might not know what we want or be sure enough.Continue Reading

3 of the Best Places To Meet Men

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A gray computer keyboard with the word men in red letters
Where are the best places to meet men?

You’ve done the work. You’ve put in the time.

You get that you’re the one doing the choosing.

But now you’re stuck.

Where do you meet him? How does he find you? Where’s the pool of men you get to choose from? What are the best places to meet men?

These are the questions I hear so often.

Where is he?

While online dating is great, and becoming a more and more common and acceptable way of meeting a romantic partner, many of you have told me that you still would rather meet someone the old fashioned way.

So with that in mind, here are a few ideas of the best places to meet men that will help you to get you out of any rut you may be stuck in, and widen the circle of men that you're meeting.Continue Reading

The One Question Only You Can Answer

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A beautiful woman sits on a couch away from her boyfriend, wondering if she can live with this.
At some point, you have to ask yourself this one question.

It happened to me.

And it happens to every one of us every time we're not honest with the one person who always gets her way in the end; our true selves.

We can't live a lie.

We can't pretend we can do this if we can't. We can't go along with someone else's terms if they're in conflict with our own. We simply can't do this because something deep down inside us won't let us.Continue Reading

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