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How Do I Let Go and Find Happiness?

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A heartbroken woman with her head in her hands, wondering how do I let go?
I can't seem to let him go and let myself be free.

This week, I've chosen a letter from one of our beautiful readers, Elizabeth. She's suffered a huge heartbreak and she's wondering how she can let go, move on, and finally find happiness in her life.

Here's her email:

I've been reading your blogs for a few years now.

I know you have answered questions and given advice about letting go, freeing yourself from your past, etc. I feel like I have a unique situation though and I am really at a loss for how to truly put it in my past.

I dated the same guy off and on from 2007-2016. Our break-ups were always very bitter and sad, and I would spend months trying to heal and forgive him and myself. Every time, once I got to the point of finally accepting everything with him, he would pop back into my life.

He would tell me how he loves me, how sorry he is for everything, and would want to give us another try. He knew I never fell out of love with him.

The break-up before the most recent one, I wrote him a letter telling him why I think our relationship didn't work and I was ready to accept that we will never be together, but I needed some closure so I wrote the letter.Continue Reading

There's A Reason For The Pain

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Image of a broken heart as s art grunge glass heart shattering.
There's a reason it hurts as bad as it does.

There’s something I have to say. You need to know this. Now.

Because when you’re in it, you’re not going to see this part. You can’t when your heart is breaking.

When you’re hurting, when you’re grasping at anything and everything to try and keep him from pulling even further away, this part will be the hardest to hear.

There IS a reason.

There’s a reason it hurts. There’s a reason for the pain.Continue Reading

Why Did He Disappear On Me?

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Angry woman stood up on a date in a coffee shop looking at her phone
On that day, I got ready, I  was happy, and sat there waiting.

Our letter this week comes from our gorgeous friend, Jade, as she tells us the story of her rocky relationship with a disappearing guy.

Her letter:

Before I ask my question, I want to give you a background story.

I've been with this guy for almost 3 years now. We've had ups and down the first year, but that's normal. But then came the twist.

Around January 2015 he left to boot camp, everything seemed okay after 3 months of not hearing from him, but then around August of last year, he left to North Carolina for school (Military) and he changed.

He stopped calling me and texting me, I caught him flirting with women on social media, he deleted photos of us, he would tell those women how he felt for them, (ex: "I find you really pretty...") and so on.

He would then tell me how annoying I was and clingy, take in mind that we were in a long distant relationship.Continue Reading

Why Do I Keep Getting Dumped?

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A beautiful woman is upset because she keeps getting dumped.
Why do men treat me like a testing station?

Oh, the pain of getting dumped!

Just about all of us have been there before, some of us quite often. Our beautiful friend Tony has just gone through this (again), and is wondering why she keeps getting dumped for other women.

Here's what she wrote:

Wow, I honestly never pictured myself writing to you especially after I got my boyfriend, who is now my ex as of yesterday.

So here it goes...

I don't know how to explain how I feel. I am caught between two emotions: hurt and relief.Continue Reading

I Know He's Not The One For Me - Why Am I Upset He Moved On?

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A beautiful woman sits on a beach looking sad because her ex has moved on.
How do I stop feeling so angry and empty and sad?

One of our gorgeous readers, who has called herself "RasberryRush", is feeling empty and sad that her ex has moved on, even though she knows he was not right for her.

Her story:

Hi Jane

I am baffled by myself, truly baffled.

My ex and I have been on-and-off for about 3 years now - he couldn't give me what I wanted in terms of a future together and I knew we were going in different directions in life.

We stayed intimate here and there (for the 3 years) and we would talk/text frequently every day. I think we fooled ourselves into thinking we were doing the 'friends' thing really well, but we weren't friends.

We were an oddly formed pair who acted like a couple in all but name.

Distance was a factor as we live around 3 hours apart - he's unwilling to move and for family reasons I can't. I feel like we knew we were each other's Mr/Ms Right Now as opposed to being the real deal.

So why then am I so totally crushed and angry that he's been out on a couple of dates with someone?Continue Reading

Was It Me?

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A beautiful woman holds her hands out wondering if it was something she did wrong.
What if I hadn't argued? Where would we be then?

Our gorgeous friend, Brooklyn, is wondering if things would be different if she had just put up with his excessive drinking and partying. She's wondering if the breakup was really her fault.

Here's what she wrote:

Hi Jane,

Your blog has helped me enormously after my recent breakup.

However, I have a lingering question. Was it me? Did I make our love not worth fighting for? Did I take the fact that I thought my boyfriend would never leave me for granted?

To give you some background, I was with my boyfriend for about 9 months. I have never loved someone as deeply as I loved him and he said the same to me. However, our relationship started to get rocky a few months ago.

I felt alcohol and friends were his priority and I was always second best. To give an example, one night a few months ago I was grieving the birthday of my deceased mother, as well as other life stresses and he chose to go out with our friends to drink that night despite me voicing that I really needed his company/support that night.

He ended the relationship due to excessive fighting, however I am strong enough to admit I was rarely the culprit of the fights.Continue Reading

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