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This One's for You

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A beautiful woman leans her head against a tree, looking unsure.
They're the words you can hardly dare to breathe. Just saying them make it all too real!

This letter is for you.

The you behind the email that says all you want is to get him back.

The you who writes that you’re in too deep to just let him go even though everyone around you, maybe even including your therapist, tells you it’s time.

The you who gives so many reasons that you can’t imagine living your life without him.

The you who can’t hear anything else that anyone says about the other side of this; you only know your heart is breaking now and he’s the only one who can put it back together. It doesn’t matter how he treats you or how much you know you deserve better.

Better isn’t him.Continue Reading

Why He Wouldn't Commit…to You

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A beautiful woman leans her head on her hands, sad.
Why does it always seem to end this way?

"I don't have the same feelings for you as I used to".

The dreaded words. The blank look. The shock that what we're hearing could be real. Nothing more to be said, nothing changed by talking and talking and talking about it, until our own words betray the truth.

He's gone.

The aftermath is telling.

Why? That's all we want to know. We blame ourselves, we blame him, we blame the timing, the people, the circumstances we never can control.Continue Reading

Did I Make the Right Decision?

41 Comments

A woman is upset about her breakup with an emotionally unavailable man, and her two friends are consoling her.
Maybe I just needed to give it all more time

One of our beautiful readers, who has called herself "Stormy", has ended her 5 month relationship with an emotionally unavailable man, but now she's second-guessing herself.

Here's her story:

Dear Jane,

I'm thankful to God this morning for the person on my Facebook who shared your webpage.

You truly are a Godsend to me in this time of pain and heart-break I'm now going through. I've already been helped and blessed by some of the other questions and answers you've posted and I'm hoping you can offer a little advice for my situation as well.

Just yesterday, I decided to end an exclusive relationship of almost 5 months with a man I've fallen in love with. It was one of the hardest decisions I've ever made.Continue Reading

Should I Be Worried He'll Never Talk To Me Again?

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A beautiful, sad woman looks at her phone wondering if he'll ever talk to her again.
I still can't help but feel I've done something wrong.

One of our gorgeous readers, Emma, has been dating a guy for five months who suddenly told her that he needed some space, and then subsequently disappeared.

Here's her email:

Dear Jane,

I have been dating this guy for around five months.

We aren't officially together yet but we have both expressed the interest in being officially together. He works night shift and has to work most weekends with his job and lives a hour and a half away.

I only get to see him once a week usually.Continue Reading

Seriously? How Did I Get Here. . .

25 Comments

A brunette woman feeling lonely in her relationship sits looking at the ocean.
He's a great guy, but until I walk he won't ever truly show up.

One of our beautiful readers, who has chosen to call herself "Always Baby", or "AB" for short, has been in a long term on-and-off relationship with a guy who just can't seem to truly commit.

Here's her email:

I am 40. I met my boyfriend when I was 36.

We were together for a few years, split for 12 months, and got back together. We have now been back together for over a year.

My boyfriend told me on the first date he would never fall in love again, he would never marry again, and that was that. Maya Angelou says when people tell you who they are the first time, listen.

I should have.

Our chemistry was amazing..the date was planned around my loves (a play, dinner at the most romantic place)...the banter between us, sexual tension, instant connection--it was all there.

So I dated him.

The process of our relationship -- dating, to committed in regards to being his girlfriend took almost 7 months...and slowly, it hasn't grown much. We broke up when he took Chantix to quit smoking. It had horrible side effects on him including a withdrawal from life, passion, intimacy, his child who he has primary custody of, his personality -- he just became a depressed, dark man. I tried to stay with him. He eventually cut me out.

I thought about him every single day for that year that followed.Continue Reading

He Says He Loves Me, But He's Acting So Emotionally Distant

17 Comments

A beautiful woman is hugging her boyfriend, wondering why he's getting emotionally distant.
Is it because he doesn't want me or because I'm not able to see what he needs?

One of our beautiful readers, Linda, has a boyfriend whose studies will be separating them soon, and he's beginning to get emotionally distant.

Here's her story:

Hi Jane!

Hope you can help me, because I do feel confused...

I'm in a relationship with this guy since March. I met him for the first time when I was 15 (now I'm 18) because we went out with the same group of friends. We've always been sort of attracted to each other but we actually started texting/talking in December...

Then in March we got together. It all started very well...He was so lovely and treated me like a princess... But I've always felt like he was not totally open with me... I talked a lot, he listened to me and showed he wanted to understand me for real even though I am pretty complicated as he says... He seems to know me better than I do sometimes...

He says to me a lot of beautiful things... So beautiful sometimes I feel like crying because I think to myself I am really bloody lucky to have him...

The problem is, that he will be leaving for University at the end of August and his studies will last more or less 10 years!!!!Continue Reading

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